After having read this thread, I have a couple things to say. Agree, disagree, be ambivalent, whatever, here is my opinion . . .

1. This "gang up" shit that everyone keeps talking about may happen with small groups of two or three members, but there is no "internet gang" that "we" are here. It may seems this way when a number of members disagree with a new guy, but I see no "us" vs. "them." We are all individuals, including new members. I'm not going to refrain from saying what I think simply because a few people here might agree with me. I'm sorry. I know a lot of you disagree with me, but I didn't see a problem at all. From what I have seen, only two or three members have left after being disagreed with and the only one I can really remember is volcano girl, but let's face it, she wasn't here to do anything but get people to do her research for her. I'm not doing that shit to make people happy, get shat on when they don't like it, just to have them leave anyway.

2. It is lovely to have a pleasant forum and I do think that people should rein in ad hom comments until they are friendly enough with someone that it becomes mutual and inoffensive. Call a new guy a twat if there are no insults in his posts, you're harshing my mellow. Call a guy a twat after seven pages of baiting, "get out of my thread," "No one wants to listen to me because my ideas are over their heads" and "The Bible is proof!" I say it is justified. People can only take so much. Should we silence loyal contributors to cater to noobs who are often only here to mentally masturbate, bait us and troll us?

3. I'm not going to guilt anyone into answering a thread differently than they would have. If you break the rules, that sucks and I have to do something, but I'm not the moral police. Some atheists don't like theists and vice versa. Should their position be less valid than the position of the "let's get along" group? I don't think so, even though I lean on the getting along side in most cases. That said, if no one is breaking the rules, I don't see what the problem is. If you see people "ganging up" on a new guy, get in the thread, encourage the new guy to talk to you, argue/debate with the gang, get involved and do something about it. This will show said new guy that we all argue/debate with each other and he is not being singled out for who he is, but that some people disagree and that is okay. Personally, and I am sorry if this pisses anyone off, I don't think guilting each other and saying how we think everyone else should be behaving will help shit. It just makes us look like a bunch of assholes who can't get along and have to resort to "stop being the way you are!" threads to get points across. Again, no offense, but where is everyone in these threads where the new people are getting "ganged up on?" I don't see any posts by people who don't like this "gang" mentality trying to steer the conversation in a better direction or even just engage the noob in a new way to get him to open up.

Sorry if I pissed anyone off, but I think calling the forum a negative place makes it seem more negative than it really is. Look at everyone in here scrambling to see what they did wrong and backtracking. Be the change you want, everyone. If you can't, please don't expect others to do it for you.

If people are crossing the line perhaps the mods need to get more 'hands on' I hope I havent come ccross too strong, but if I had and the mods approached me i would get back in my box.

(September 4, 2011 at 4:11 pm)downbeatplumb Wrote: If people are crossing the line perhaps the mods need to get more 'hands on'

I hope it doesn't come to that.

Again, if people don't like the way a thread is going, steer it in the right direction, voice your opinion, explain why you think such and such a thing should not be said or let it drive you away. Do whatever you want to do about it and if you see something you don't like, tell me or any other mod or admin. I would hate to see us have to police this place like crazy because people are getting upset. I'm not comfortable with that.

But people I like and respect are, if not upset, rattled.

I dont think it would take policing like crazy.

A gentle nudge every now and then should do.

There has been a lot of talk about menace and intolerance lately and I honestly dont know if any of the fault is mine.
I hope not.
I dont think my style has changed lately. But people can be blind to their own faults.

(September 4, 2011 at 4:26 pm)downbeatplumb Wrote: But people I like and respect are, if not upset, rattled.

Me too, but those people are tough. I know they'll be all right. We discuss specific issues, but it is awful hard to implement something as general as making the site less "hostile" without doing a lot of dirty work. Mocking beliefs isn't really against the rules, so I don't know what anyone wants.

Quote:There has been a lot of talk about menace and intolerance lately and I honestly dont know if any of the fault is mine.
I hope not.
I dont think my style has changed lately. But people can be blind to their own faults.

I don't think so. I haven't seen any issues from you. Don't stress. If changes need to happen, they will. I don't see anyone being singled out.

Maybe some of us did over-estimate the level of 'hostility' in here to a certain extent.

I think the commotion started to intensify after people read Tiberius' s "Stepping Down" thread. Then, that's when a few more members made similar topics (i.e. about the vibe/pleasantness/hostility of the forum). They didn't do anything wrong, though, because it only shows that they are concerned about the type of interactions going on and what it may lead to in the future.

Also, I think most of the members are okay with the forum the way it is (as indicated by Napoleon's poll that he made recently). Only a handful of the members have an opposite view.

(September 4, 2011 at 5:28 pm)Rayaan Wrote: They didn't do anything wrong, though, because it only shows that they are concerned about the type of interactions going on and what it may lead to in the future.

I agree. I don't think anyone has done anything wrong in this situation. I just think an active approach to change works better than appeals to internet morality. I like nearly everyone here, so I hope no one is offended by my opinion.

I think that in the long run we will be OK, this forum has a tendency to self rectify the less than recommedable actions. It took just these few threads to get people thinking about some of their recent actions (me included). It didn't need rules or iron fist, just a heads up: "Mabe we got too enthusiastic bashing people around".

Think some people need to untwist their panties a bit. It's a forum based on a divisive issue. Can't take heated debate? Tough.

We have moderators so if people are just literally flaming other posters, that can be dealt with. I've no intention of going soft on anyone who comes in peddling some absurd opinion just because they've reached it without reading anything (or worse, only reading one thing). If they don't agree with that, I can back my opinions up so I've nothing to fear.

Tiberius didn't want to post "I'm leaving you guys for another woman". Look what's happened..lol.

Man says "I'm leaving, and heres why"
Other man smiles and says "So what's her name then?"