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“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
#1
“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
Quote:A SPOKESPERSON for the Vatican has officially announced today that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.

Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.

“We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.”

Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”

The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.

“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/04...s-vatican/

If only they admitted this centuries ago, a lot of bloodshed could have been prevented.
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#2
RE: “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
This is a “serious” thread?
Nay_Sayer: “Nothing is impossible if you dream big enough, or in this case, nothing is impossible if you use a barrel of KY Jelly and a miniature horse.”

Wiser words were never spoken. 
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#3
RE: “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
(April 29, 2019 at 1:33 am)LadyForCamus Wrote: This is a “serious” thread?

As a
[Image: heart-attack.jpg]
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#4
RE: “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
(April 29, 2019 at 1:33 am)LadyForCamus Wrote: This is a “serious” thread?

Because it's true, Jesus is "never coming back". Parody being more true than the real thing.
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#5
RE: “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
If you want to have a serious thread, why place it in the humor section?

My serious reaction; this is obviously fake and not worth discussing
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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#6
RE: “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
I removed the 'serious' tag.  It doesn't belong on a link to a satirical website.

Boru
'A man is accepted into a church for what he believes.  He is turned out for what he knows.' - Mark Twain
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#7
RE: “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
I'm satired of this kind of thread.
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#8
RE: “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
According to the Bible, Jesus was supposed to have returned during the lifetimes of some of his apostles and disciples. It took the Vatican this long to figure out that he never did?  Dodgy
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#9
RE: “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
(April 29, 2019 at 7:31 am)Gwaithmir Wrote: According to the Bible, Jesus was supposed to have returned during the lifetimes of some of his apostles and disciples. It took the Vatican this long to figure out that he never did?  Dodgy

"There are people alive today who will see my return." Probably written a few hundred years after the event.
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#10
RE: “Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican
Quote:The Wandering Jew is a mythical immortal man whose legend began to spread in Europe in the 13th century. The original legend concerns a Jew who taunted Jesus on the way to the Crucifixion and was then cursed to walk the earth until the Second Coming. The exact nature of the wanderer's indiscretion varies in different versions of the tale, as do aspects of his character; sometimes he is said to be a shoemaker or other tradesman, while sometimes he is the doorman at Pontius Pilate's estate.

Wikipedia || Wandering Jew

More evidence that religious claims are essentially unfalsifiable and therefore have no truth content.
[Image: ak_botan_saionji_005.jpg]
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