The Old West never looked so Spanish!

Odd, since it was filmed in Idaho.

Boru

(November 12, 2019 at 8:34 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Odd, since it was filmed in Idaho.

Boru

LOL, not much on Spaghetti westerns, I see.

(November 12, 2019 at 8:53 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote:

(November 12, 2019 at 8:34 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Odd, since it was filmed in Idaho.

Boru

LOL, not much on Spaghetti westerns, I see.  

'Pale Rider' wasn't one of the spaghetti westerns.

Boru

(November 12, 2019 at 9:08 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:

(November 12, 2019 at 8:53 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: LOL, not much on Spaghetti westerns, I see.  

'Pale Rider' wasn't one of the spaghetti westerns.

Boru

Oh, boy.

Asa Akira's matress adventure

'The Bounty Hunter'.  A film with absolutely nothing to recommend it except Jennifer Aniston's tits.

So...2/10 (one for each).

Boru

So, imagine that you've decided to watch a cheesy movie about Piranhas, and you find yourself enjoying it, in spite of your expectations. It strikes a good balance between being scary and being campy, and when the idiots get eaten, you find yourself cheering, and you're impressed by a scene where the sheriff confronts a big floating raft of partying teens, imploring them to get out of the water due to piranha infestation, and they start jumping in the water, and some even start jumping in voluntarily as the water starts to turn red. You even get a bit invested at the teen protagonist's issues, and they're usually the weakest part of movies like this. It gets to the point where Christopher Lloyd calls to explain that the piranhas we've been dealing with were the babies all along... and as soon as you get pumped up for this revelation, you remember the reason you watched Piranha 3D in the first place: Because its sequel Piranha 3DD (or Piranha DD, if you don't have a 3D TV) was part of the Deep Hurting Project. And now, you're watching it. So, how does it hold up?

• As much as I've been building up that this film follows directly from the original, they actually don't. Apparently, the town in the first movie DEALT WITH THE PIRANHA PROBLEM OFFSCREEN. They drained the lake, and the town is deserted, and it barely has a role in the movie. Yep, they took prime sequel bait material, and they just IGNORE it when the time comes to make the actual sequel.
  
  
  
• And after that, we get a scene of two fishermen dredging up cow's heads, and after some fart jokes (from a dead cow's head, of all things), and then, we get some dogshit-looking CGI piranhas. I mean, yeah, the piranhas in the original were CGI, but at least it looked good. 
  
• After all that, we figure out that this time around, the big thrust of the movie is going to be T&A, with obvious sex jokes (like a pool boy trying to fuck the jet holes in the pool) and several scenes of doomed teens having sex and then getting eaten by piranhas (including one pair who get their Mystery Machine-van to Susan Smith itself just in time for the Piranhas to come in), with some gross-out that eventually gets tied with the piranha plot.
  
• The Big Wet guy who runs the resort (and turns it into a titty bar) has a commercial where he sounds like Cool Cat for some reason. And somehow, I doubt this is the first adult-themed water resort.
  
• SULFURIC ACID IN A POOL? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND? Okay, it's not unheard of, but still not advisable, especially for a water park.
  
• If you want a good grasp of the difference between the two films, in the original, they have an underwater ballet scene, two women having sex underwater, and somehow not having any need for air, and it's gorgeous and anyone who's watched the movie remembers it. This film, there's two people having sex in a visibly murky pond.
  
• So, wait, a video by Christopher Lloyd's character becomes viral and that's how they know to talk to him?
  
• The scene where Christopher Lloyd hands the teens his book is so true to real life, and his checking up on his viral video's views is just pathetic enough that... even I'd do it.
  
• So, the original has a scene where two piranhas fight over a dude's severed dick, and in this movie, a piranha swims up a girl's vagina, and then eats her boyfriend's penis when he has sex with her... and then he has to cut it off and, because MPAA, we can barely see his choad. Then he asks her "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" And somehow, this causes her to have a seizure, complete with foaming mouth.
  
• "You're a crooked cop." Right up there with "How do you expect me to sleep, we live in Washington DC?"
  
• And now we know why David Hasselhoff doesn't write his own songs.
  
• And this scene of the black guy from the Sheriff's department trying to get used to the water again gets depressing really quickly.
  
• That kid who got his leg bit by a piranha is really blase about this traumatic injury.
  
• Also, did I mention that the piranhas can live in chlorinated water now? Whatever, they can stay unnoticed in a human vagina for as long as it takes for her to have sex with her boyfriend.
  
• Okay, that shot of the woman's raft floating under a pedestrian bridge and then getting bloody looks good. And, of course, the girl running with a gash in her abdomen has the camera focus on her tits more tha the wound.
  
• And how the fuck did he ever get the idea to have guns in his prosthetic leg?
  
• As cool as the Vertigo shot is, do you really need to have David Hasselhoff subjected to it THREE TIMES in one  short scene?
  
• So, the Big Wet guy gets his head chopped off from one of those strings of pennant flags, and when it falls into the hands of one of the strippers, her instinct is to shove it between her bloody tits while she screams?
  
• Oh, look a girl is saved from getting eaten by a piranha, when it gets eaten by a bigger piranha. So now we get some sense of the heirarchy of piranha ages that Christopher Lloyd teased in the end of the original. 
  
• They've really been telegraphing the twist that the piranhas are learning to walk to the point where the most shocking part of this final twist is that it's even supposed to be a twist. The more surprising twist? The 3DD title is dropped in the blooper reel (which takes up most of the last 10 minutes of the film).
  

So...The Boy Who Would Be King...but I'm kinda wishing I watched Revs movie now.......

The guilty pleasure original, or the sequel I watched specifically because it’s utter shit? Or is the answer just yes?