"Sarge, I have a murder case here. A lady just shot her husband for stepping on a floor she had just mopped."

"Have you arrested her?"

"No. The floor's still wet."

(January 25, 2022 at 2:10 pm)Darinda Wrote: Went for a walk past a farm with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating.

She said: "How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?"
I replied: "He can smell she is ready. That's how nature works."
 
We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.
Again my girlfriend asked: "How does the ram knew when the ewe is ready for sex?"
 
I replied: "It's nature. He can smell she is ready."
We then went past another pasture and the bull was mating with the cow.
 
My girlfriend said: "This is odd. They are really going at it. Surely the bull can't smell when she is ready?"
I said: "Oh, yes; it's nature. All animals can smell when the female is ready for sex."
 
Anyway, after the walk, I dropped her at home and kissed her *goodbye.*

She said: "Take care and get yourself tested for Covid-19."
 
Surprised, "Why do you say that?" I asked her.



She replied: *"You seem to have lost your sense of smell."

And here come the COVID jokes...

(January 21, 2022 at 4:49 am)The Valkyrie Wrote:

(January 21, 2022 at 4:35 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: My wife:  'I watched my first porn today.'

Me: 'Cool.'

My wife: 'I can't believe how young I was then.'

Me:

Boru

Did you have a small part in it?

😇😇😇

I was the merkin wrangler.  The credits called me "Best Boy, Merkin".

Women are hard to figure out. My wife told me she wanted to join a gym to get rid of her love handles. When I said she'd look funny with no ears, she went ballistic.

Boru

Starbucks is to start selling masks.

They're calling them coughy filters.

(January 26, 2022 at 1:37 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Starbucks is to start selling masks.

They're calling them coughy filters.

No. Just…no.

Boru

(January 26, 2022 at 1:37 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Starbucks is to start selling masks.

They're calling them coughy filters.

Thanks a latte.

I think Beccs' and Boru's relationship is being strained... Something's brewing.



(I'm here all week)

(January 25, 2022 at 2:53 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:

(January 25, 2022 at 2:51 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: You mean, like, out of a cannon? Cause I’m ok with that.

Boru

WITH a cannon is an option.

It's always an option if you have a cannon and good aim.

Mountains aren't just funny - they're hill areas.

Boru