I've been told plenty of times that I'm not a real man.  Which is in part what led me to abandon the label of man altogether, so I guess they're now right, lol.

But the criteria for what counts as a 'real man' is fairly vague.

For me, the message I got from my surrounding UK culture was that a 'real man' was a tall, physically strong, adult heterosexual male, with a deep voice, who had killed other men in combat, could drink prodigious amounts, ate lots of meat, was fully independent, never displayed fear or sentimentality, had a large number of sexual conquests, enjoyed playing sports, and was an expert in engineering and DIY.

What message did you recieve in your culture about what constituted a 'real man'?

A real man is any person of any persuasion who treats those who call them “not a real man” as if they were not even worth the dirt they so impudently presumed to trod upon.

There are several versions of what a Real Man™ is where I come from.

To me, a genuine Aussie man would be someone like Steve Irwin.

Brave, caring, loves animals and people, and is just a little bit dumb (even if it is just an act).

(September 4, 2023 at 5:38 am)Anomalocaris Wrote: A real man is any person of any persuasion who treats those who call them “not a real man” as if they were not even worth the dirt they so impudently presumed to trod upon.

But is that your personal stance, or the stance of the wider society you live in?

(September 4, 2023 at 5:44 am)FrustratedFool Wrote:

(September 4, 2023 at 5:38 am)Anomalocaris Wrote: A real man is any person of any persuasion who treats those who call them “not a real man” as if they were not even worth the dirt they so impudently presumed to trod upon.

But is that your personal stance, or the stance of the wider society you live in?

Your personal stance can often go a long way to making the other stances seen in the wider society irrelevant. The only condition seems to be there are others whose stances are similar to your own, and you pick your fights

(September 4, 2023 at 5:44 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: There are several versions of what a Real Man™ is where I come from.

To me, a genuine Aussie man would be someone like Steve Irwin.

Brave, caring, loves animals and people, and is just a little bit dumb (even if it is just an act).

Poking a sting Ray until it pokes back is an extraordinarily convincing act.

I wouldn't say a long way. But fair enough.

(September 4, 2023 at 5:29 am)FrustratedFool Wrote: I've been told plenty of times that I'm not a real man.  Which is in part what led me to abandon the label of man altogether, so I guess they're now right, lol.

But the criteria for what counts as a 'real man' is fairly vague.

For me, the message I got from my surrounding UK culture was that a 'real man' was a tall, physically strong, adult heterosexual male, with a deep voice, who had killed other men in combat, could drink prodigious amounts, ate lots of meat, was fully independent, never displayed fear or sentimentality, had a large number of sexual conquests, enjoyed playing sports, and was an expert in engineering and DIY.

What message did you recieve in your culture about what constituted a 'real man'?

In Japan the macho-man stuff is a lot less important. 

I'd say that here, a real man is one who takes on his social role with commitment, and does his very best. Even if that means sacrificing personal pleasure or short-term rewards. Depending on what role that is, it might also involve knuckling under to one's company or other kind of hierarchy. 

Traditionally this meant providing for a wife and kids, and taking care of parents as they age. This is all about doing your part to keep society stable and secure. 

Obviously there have always been guys who don't live up to this, or choose a more eccentric path. Such people aren't necessarily seen as non-masculine, but they would be considered to be outside of a "normal man's" role.

Anyone who’s not an android.

Boru

I really don't care. I am a heterosexual male who only drinks a little (cannot remember the last time I was drunk, must be over 15 years ago) I have zero interest in sports (never watched a game of football or cricket in my life) some would say I'm not a real man, but that's their problem, I am happy with my life, approaching my 35th wedding aniversary (she must be crazy to put up with me!) what others think is just not important to me.