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joke time
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Christians, "Jesus turned water to wine for everyone!"
Jesus, "I made too much. I was just trying to roofie the bride's maid!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"  (March 22, 2025 at 7:48 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Christians, "Jesus turned water to wine for everyone!" Why bother. Just have her tell her husband "I swear, it was immaculate conception!"
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Christians, "Jesus turned water to wine for everyone!"
Jesus, "I was trying to turn flour into cocaine but I said the wrong magic spell."
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Hindus and Muslims should join their religions into one and call it Hamasutra.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Doctor: Hello, my name is Juan and I’ll be delivering you baby.
Dad: Help us, OB Juan! You’re our only hope! Mum (to Doctor): Yeah, you can leave his name off the birth certificate. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
‘Mummy, where do Marjorie Taylor Greenes come from?’
‘Well son, when a gun and a crack pipe love each other very much…’ Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
(April 16, 2025 at 6:10 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: ‘Mummy, where do Marjorie Taylor Greenes come from?’ Well, they've been selectively breeding some creatures to bring back extinct species, I just thought she had escaped from the neanderthal lab... Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"  (April 17, 2025 at 1:46 am)The Valkyrie Wrote:(April 16, 2025 at 6:10 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: ‘Mummy, where do Marjorie Taylor Greenes come from?’ Caps mine.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
You know why so many billionaires are interested in going to space? Because guillotines require gravity to work.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (April 19, 2025 at 1:22 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: You know why so many billionaires are interested in going to space? Because guillotines require gravity to work. I'm sure some MIT kid who sees his scholarship threatened by corporate greed can find a way to add some kind of kinetic assist. 
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
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