Secularization and the destruction of marriage: Is god the only solution?
For decades rising divorce rates have been blamed on secularization. On people’s falling away from god. Stated in this manner the only logical solution to the problem would be to restore one’s faith and obedience to god. I disagree with this argument; I think there are better solutions. I’d like to take my shotgun out and poke multiple holes in this argument. Care to join me? I will start with a few.
1) On the surface the value of religion in discouraging divorce is to force married couples to stay together thus forcing them to work things out – to learn to live with one another. The principle of not running from conflict (dedicating oneself to stick it out and work things out) is a good thing. A long term effect is learning how to live with people. It can effect both parties in a positive manner. My question is, do we need religion to make people do this? Is there a better way to encourage (by choice) the principle? Why is this not considered?
2) The religious solution actually puts most of the burden on the females. In modern Christianity this has lessened a bit, but let’s look at the principle as it has played out over time. Sexist double standards as stated in many religious texts give males a lot more freedom. Essentially they are saying that to discourage divorce, inequality of the sexes is necessary. One must subjugate the other in order for marriage to stay together. How is this the solution? Why can’t they think of better solutions?
3) Property rights, (up until recently in some religions women and children were property. Other religions they still are property) as stated in many religions, make the female give up her children if she is to divorce. For the woman this sometimes means never seeing her own children ever again if she were to leave her husband. This is essentially a piece of paper (doctrine on paper) that gives serious consequences to any woman who wishes to divorce. Why do humans (again most notably the females) need strong coercion by religious doctrine to stay together? Why can’t marital disputes be worked out via reason?
4) I think It’s fair to say that secularization has led to technology that has freed people from much of the drudgery of manual labor, most notably in this case in the home. Labor divisions of one person working in the home (which almost always meant the woman stays at home to do this) and the other working outside the home are no longer necessary to survive. Now a days if a woman wants to divorce it does not mean poverty and starvation for her. It has given her more freedom to divorce. Why must the woman (this burden almost always falls on her shoulders) give up this freedom in order for the family to stay together? Why can’t they think of better alternatives? Isn’t this a bit dumb?
In other words why do people think that religion is the only solution? Though it worked in the past it can hardly be said that it worked well. Why is the return to religious principles the only solution (note I don’t personally believe this) to a rising divorce rate?
And finally; If people realize that there could be other solutions, could this mean that we will hear a large popping sound as their heads come out of their asses?
Disclaimer:
One Point to consider: I am aware of statistics that show a very large divorce rate among Christians. I don’t know how much these statistics show causal links between obedience to god and increased divorce. There are other factors to consider. Churches attract divorcees by offering free divorce counseling and singles groups. Furthermore many churches offer drug counseling or support drug counseling centers. Since drug abuse and divorce often go together it’s reasonable to believe that these ex addicts who have joined the church for help with the addiction would also increase the divorce statistics. On the opposite side of this argument some popular doctrines preach a sort of immaturity that can lead to a lack of desire or an inability to work out marital disagreements. I don’t have time to discuss this in depth but the evidence for this is in the doctrine that is preached in these churches. This is why I’ve avoided statistics and stuck with the possible principles behind the cause and effect.
Dammit, this thread sounds more like a rant than anything else. I’m just sick of hearing that the only solution for (fill in the blank) is a return to god.
For decades rising divorce rates have been blamed on secularization. On people’s falling away from god. Stated in this manner the only logical solution to the problem would be to restore one’s faith and obedience to god. I disagree with this argument; I think there are better solutions. I’d like to take my shotgun out and poke multiple holes in this argument. Care to join me? I will start with a few.
1) On the surface the value of religion in discouraging divorce is to force married couples to stay together thus forcing them to work things out – to learn to live with one another. The principle of not running from conflict (dedicating oneself to stick it out and work things out) is a good thing. A long term effect is learning how to live with people. It can effect both parties in a positive manner. My question is, do we need religion to make people do this? Is there a better way to encourage (by choice) the principle? Why is this not considered?
2) The religious solution actually puts most of the burden on the females. In modern Christianity this has lessened a bit, but let’s look at the principle as it has played out over time. Sexist double standards as stated in many religious texts give males a lot more freedom. Essentially they are saying that to discourage divorce, inequality of the sexes is necessary. One must subjugate the other in order for marriage to stay together. How is this the solution? Why can’t they think of better solutions?
3) Property rights, (up until recently in some religions women and children were property. Other religions they still are property) as stated in many religions, make the female give up her children if she is to divorce. For the woman this sometimes means never seeing her own children ever again if she were to leave her husband. This is essentially a piece of paper (doctrine on paper) that gives serious consequences to any woman who wishes to divorce. Why do humans (again most notably the females) need strong coercion by religious doctrine to stay together? Why can’t marital disputes be worked out via reason?
4) I think It’s fair to say that secularization has led to technology that has freed people from much of the drudgery of manual labor, most notably in this case in the home. Labor divisions of one person working in the home (which almost always meant the woman stays at home to do this) and the other working outside the home are no longer necessary to survive. Now a days if a woman wants to divorce it does not mean poverty and starvation for her. It has given her more freedom to divorce. Why must the woman (this burden almost always falls on her shoulders) give up this freedom in order for the family to stay together? Why can’t they think of better alternatives? Isn’t this a bit dumb?
In other words why do people think that religion is the only solution? Though it worked in the past it can hardly be said that it worked well. Why is the return to religious principles the only solution (note I don’t personally believe this) to a rising divorce rate?
And finally; If people realize that there could be other solutions, could this mean that we will hear a large popping sound as their heads come out of their asses?
Disclaimer:
One Point to consider: I am aware of statistics that show a very large divorce rate among Christians. I don’t know how much these statistics show causal links between obedience to god and increased divorce. There are other factors to consider. Churches attract divorcees by offering free divorce counseling and singles groups. Furthermore many churches offer drug counseling or support drug counseling centers. Since drug abuse and divorce often go together it’s reasonable to believe that these ex addicts who have joined the church for help with the addiction would also increase the divorce statistics. On the opposite side of this argument some popular doctrines preach a sort of immaturity that can lead to a lack of desire or an inability to work out marital disagreements. I don’t have time to discuss this in depth but the evidence for this is in the doctrine that is preached in these churches. This is why I’ve avoided statistics and stuck with the possible principles behind the cause and effect.
Dammit, this thread sounds more like a rant than anything else. I’m just sick of hearing that the only solution for (fill in the blank) is a return to god.
I have studied the Bible and the theology behind Christianity for many years. I have been to many churches. I have walked the depth and the breadth of the religion and, as a result of this, I have a lot of bullshit to scrape off the bottom of my shoes. ~Ziploc Surprise
