I know this one guy and we both really do like each others. He is sweet and caring but I cant seem to get over the fact that he is a hardcore christian. He asked me "do you really think we came from monkeys?" and i said no and explain why we really didnt come from monkeys that is bad knowledge... Well he said he thinks the whole evolution thing is garbage and I feel pathetic but one part of me just want to explode but I didnt because I didnt want piss him off. What are some of your experience with dating theist and maybe what I should do?

Quote:What are some of your experience with dating theist and maybe what I should do?

Have dated theists? Yes, lots.. Did any of them work out well? No. But then, neither did any relationships with atheists.

What should you do? I guess that depends on how accepting you are of each other's beliefs. (or lack of them) Neither of you has any right of expectation of change in the other,which is just as well;few people are capable of profound change on demand.

Seems to me you have three choices;say nothing and let things slide,allowing your resentment to build until your head explodes, accept him as he is or drop him and move on. Expecting him to change is probably not a realistic option.

Quote:but I cant seem to get over the fact that he is a hardcore christian.

Check out some of the hardcore xtians around here and ask yourself if you can tolerate that much stupidity in your life?

(May 29, 2012 at 1:51 am)Minimalist Wrote:

Quote:but I cant seem to get over the fact that he is a hardcore christian.

Check out some of the hardcore xtians around here and ask yourself if you can tolerate that much stupidity in your life?

Excellent answer Min. I couldn't, I'd be terrified of a folie a deux and/or of beating her to death with her bible.

Being married to a Catholic was bad enough. (she went back to the Church after we had be married 10 years; I was horrified)

If he respects that you have a different opinion and beliefs, then there shouldn't be a problem. The key thing in a relationship is to accept differences and focus on the similarities.

I would say another key thing would be that you respect your partner and don't regard them as an idiot. Are you going to be able to say that when they're asking questions like 'Do you really believe we come from monkeys?'. They sound like a dolt. Are you going to just ignore this massive part of their life? Are you going to be able to?

For my part, someone who believed in God, I could possibly handle - although I suspect their God would be some kind of wishy washy new age kind of God that doesn't require much worship, reading etc.; basically the more devout they were, the less likely it would be to succeed for obvious reasons. A creationist would be straight out.

Quote:Expecting him to change is probably not a realistic option.

^This. When getting into a relationship, you should look to the long term and try to determine if the person seems like someone you can tolerate over a long period. Going into a relationship with hopes of changing a person usually ends in disappointment.

As far as my experience, I dated a theist, and then I married her. She, however, is as passive of a theist as they come. She doesn't go to church, and the only religious rules she follows is not eating meat on Friday during Lent. We've gotten along just fine, but if she was a hard core, evolution denying bible thumper I don't think it would have happened.

My advice (concerning all relationships) is:

a) Can you respect your partner? Are you respected in return?
If not, I can assure you that it will not work. It's horrible to be in either position.

b) Does your partner have a negative side that you cannot tolerate?
If you answer yes, no good side of his/hers will ever be enough.

Other than that, do what feels right to you and good luck!

(May 29, 2012 at 9:23 am)Kayenneh Wrote: My advice (concerning all relationships) is:

a) Can you respect your partner? Are you respected in return?
If not, I can assure you that it will not work. It's horrible to be in either position.

b) Does your partner have a negative side that you cannot tolerate?
If you answer yes, no good side of his/hers will ever be enough.

Other than that, do what feels right to you and good luck!

man, is this all true and the part i bolded is 100% true imho. awesome advice.

I'm with a theist, but we're okay with not talking about our differences of opinion on that too much.