So we were planning a nice, quiet Christmas here at home. Yeah, it's not going to happen. My mother-in-law's health isn't so great these days, she doesn't have a diagnosis yet, but it is suspected to be some early form of dementia. So we got our tickets and are heading out west to visit my husband's family for the holidays.
We won't be staying with my husband's parents, we will be staying a couple houses down from them at my sister-in-law's home.
I'm posting because I know this is going to be difficult for me. My mother-in-law has always appeared nervous, anxious, uptight to me. Initially my observations were dismissed, however, now that she's ill, everyone is saying she is obviously anxious and confrontational. In my family, when someone acted this way it meant, "HIT THE DECK! SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN!" So I react by becoming anxious myself.
My quandary is how to cope with the stress? Any good techniques anyone can suggest?

I usually find myself something to do, outside, in the kitchen, on the toilet anywhere but where the people are...at least every thirty minutes...good luck!

I shop online and stay within a budget. If someone is upset about not getting a gift they go on my shit list.

The end

I'm generally too depressed to successfully deal during the holidays, other than to smile in public, and cry alone.


This past year I've taken to drinking heavily. That offers at least the hope of the time passing faster, if not in any way improved from last year.

I forgot to mention they don't drink (they are tea-totallers) Fuck, they're even in Washington state, I could get legal weed, but that's just not going to happen.
I hate going into a situation that I know full well is going to trigger me to feel like I'm a helpless 4 year old. Lots of repeating mantras of, "I'm not a little kid anymore. I can remove myself from the situation if I need to. I can distract myself if necessary. She's not aware of how her actions/body language/words effect me." I will be packing my Xanax. I guess it's just hold on to yourself and just let go. Anxiety is a living hell.

When really in stress or agressive (not necesserily holiday related, but any stress) I take one hour, in which i lock myself into a room with a sofa and just lie on it.

Calm, quiet and relaxed......... no smoking, no music, nothing but relaxing silence. And it helps.

Try it if you can find a silent place.

Other than that, I drink alot.

Oh festive, I feel for you.

I had to go to New York for Thanksgiving and stay with my mormon inlaws. Let me tell you how fucking horrible it was to not be drunk or have my coffee in the morning. By the time we left I was about to explode...

Buy yourself a bunch of awesome Christmas presents and admire your new stuff while you zone out. Yeah, it's okay to be materialistic sometimes. A new book would be perfect for this.

Usually I spend a nice and relaxing Christmas with my parents in Sweden. We just enjoy each others company, eat a lot, exchange gifts and watch Die Hard 2.

This year I promised my bf that I would spend Christmas with his family. Celebrating the 24th with his dad is going to be enjoyable, but the 25th we'll visit his grandma, a Karelian woman, who voices her opinions without censure. She's the type of person who wants to 'keep Finland Finnish!", so it doesn't bode well for me, being a Fenno-swede..
My coping method? Smile and nod, smile and nod and above all, stay silent

(December 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm)Kayenneh Wrote: Usually I spend a nice and relaxing Christmas with my parents in Sweden. We just enjoy each others company, eat a lot, exchange gifts and watch Die Hard 2.