I dont know if this topic has done before, i couldnt find it in these forums but i might just be bad at using the search engine.
This question is directed more at muslims.
I have had quite a lot of muslim friends in my life and not one of them, even the more religious ones have taken sex before marriage seriously, do you know why this is?
Ive known muslim guys to have non muslim girlfriends so not only commiting sex before marriage but basically putting themselves in a situation where it will happen again inevitably.
Ive had a bengali muslim girlfriend who definitely didnt care about this and in fact only ever dated white non muslims for some reason.
Even the most religious guy i know who is a muslim has heavily hinted to me that he has had sex before and he isnt married.
His opinion was that the most important rule was to honour your parents and the rest of the sins were less important, but what are your opinions?

(January 3, 2013 at 11:03 am)paulpablo Wrote: I dont know if this topic has done before, i couldnt find it in these forums but i might just be bad at using the search engine.
This question is directed more at muslims.
I have had quite a lot of muslim friends in my life and not one of them, even the more religious ones have taken sex before marriage seriously, do you know why this is?
Ive known muslim guys to have non muslim girlfriends so not only commiting sex before marriage but basically putting themselves in a situation where it will happen again inevitably.
Ive had a bengali muslim girlfriend who definitely didnt care about this and in fact only ever dated white non muslims for some reason.
Even the most religious guy i know who is a muslim has heavily hinted to me that he has had sex before and he isnt married.
His opinion was that the most important rule was to honour your parents and the rest of the sins were less important, but what are your opinions?

"I have had quite a lot of muslim friends in my life and not one of them, even the more religious ones have taken sex before marriage seriously, do you know why this is?"
This is probably due to the society they live in where fornication is allowed and permitted so will have a different view compared with the islamic one. Also it is probably because there iman (faith) is low meaning that they are not strong in islam so dont see any consequence of doing it or have an idea of you only live once. Also it could be due to that many muslim men dont have much islamic knowledge. Like many muslims do not know something as basic as tawheed(islamic monotheism). Alot of the times they appear to be very religious but are not truly following it. For expample if you go to birmingingham or bradford in the UK you will find many Muslim men with big beard always prayering but after they finish mosque go out selling drugs.

Many probably dont understand there religion or dont like it. So may be more cultural islam that their parents are muslim so just say their muslim but dont take much interest.

"His opinion was that the most important rule was to honour your parents and the rest of the sins were less important, but what are your opinions?"

I agree partly with that statement not giving your parents their rights e.g. being treated kindly and respected is a grave sin. But other sins are still important. I think that's a dangerous attitude there if you say that the others don't have as much importance.
The most gravious sin is Shirk (assoiciating partners with Allah) as when you die it can never be forgiven whereas all other sins Allah could choose to forgive as he is the Most Merciful.

On the viewpoint of sex before marriage. It is something Haram in Islam and a very serious sin. But people all make mistakes and they can seek repentance from Allah and say sorry, say they will never do it again, stay away from it and do some good stuff and he will forgive them.
I think it is important that we dont go pointing fingers at people and saying look he's bad stay aware from him as it's unislamic and will push people further away. That we should recognise that we should look at ourselves and our problems before judging others. Something which i never did as an Athiest and have come to learn now as a Muslim. I used to point out look all these bad things people are doing look at this is bad this is bad. Religion makes people hate other people say bad things. But at the same time i would take the mick out of people for believing jesus (PBUH) walked on water or for people believing muhammad(PBUH) split the moon or for people believing in stupid fairytales. And now i realise a complete hyprocasy in my mindset and teachings. Ive learnt That i should improve myself before commenting on others.

I wasnt going to point my finger at my friend and say hes bad and not islamic for having sex before marriage, i wanted to high five him and congratulate him. Im not a muslim and i dont care about it But as he is a pretty strict muslim in other aspects i dont think he would apreciate this.
To give you an idea of his strictness in other aspects he asks me to handle any products with alcohol in work we have because he wont even touch them. And there was something about car insurance were he got his friend to pretend to be him to put insurance on his car or something strange like that because he said thats also against his religion.

(January 3, 2013 at 12:34 pm)paulpablo Wrote: I wasnt going to point my finger at my friend and say hes bad and not islamic for having sex before marriage, i wanted to high five him and congratulate him. Im not a muslim and i dont care about it But as he is a pretty strict muslim in other aspects i dont think he would apreciate this.
To give you an idea of his strictness in other aspects he asks me to handle any products with alcohol in work we have because he wont even touch them. And there was something about car insurance were he got his friend to pretend to be him to put insurance on his car or something strange like that because he said thats also against his religion.

My apologies brother i didnt mean to insuate that you would ever go pointing at him and having ago. Sorry if that came across.

Quote:But people all make mistakes and they can seek repentance from Allah and say sorry, say they will never do it again, stay away from it and do some good stuff and he will forgive them.

This maybe the case for someone who has a moment of temptation or a night of temptation but im saying what about muslims who have girlfriends before marriage, i personally cant understand the repenting part of basically making a commitment to sin.
And you say this is basically down to a person being raised within the religion by parents yet possibly not understanding it fully does this mean you plan to not have a girlfriend in the near future?
Will the next person you have sex with be your wife in your mind?
Bare in mind ive also read some verses of the quran that are understood to mean masterbation is haram.
Are you married? do you plan to get married? Sorry for the crude way of putting this but if you arent married or planning on getting married how are you going to cope with having balls like melons?
By the way you were spot on about birmingham and bradford my ex girlfriend who i mentioned was from birmingham and i live not far from bradford

(January 3, 2013 at 12:48 pm)paulpablo Wrote:

Quote:But people all make mistakes and they can seek repentance from Allah and say sorry, say they will never do it again, stay away from it and do some good stuff and he will forgive them.

This maybe the case for someone who has a moment of temptation or a night of temptation but im saying what about muslims who have girlfriends before marriage, i personally cant understand the repenting part of basically making a commitment to sin.
And you say this is basically down to a person being raised within the religion by parents yet possibly not understanding it fully does this mean you plan to not have a girlfriend in the near future?
Will the next person you have sex with be your wife in your mind?
Bare in mind ive also read some verses of the quran that are understood to mean masterbation is haram.
Are you married? do you plan to get married? Sorry for the crude way of putting this but if you arent married or planning on getting married how are you going to cope with having balls like melons?

1. Im not saying it because of them being raised. Something like this has to many variables to nail it down to one course and every persons situation is different.

2. By the repenting thing i meant was if they fault bad they could ask for forgiveness

Obviously its religion so is open to interpretation maybe your friend interpretates it that it is ok to have a girlfriend or sex before marriage.

Insha'allah (God Willing) the next person i have sex with will be my wife. I'm not married but planning to get married hopefully soon. Probs when im over 18 then wont require my parents consent.
Lmao balls like melons .
Sexual desires can be controlled, allot harder in a western society, but can be controlled.
In Islam if you have sexual desires then the best advice is to try and get married. If not then fast as it lowers your sexual desire. However for some people it increases it lol.
Personally i plan to have a wife in the near future.

Quote:Obviously its religion so is open to interpretation

thats one of the reasons i find it unimportant to follow any religion

Also you should ask a doctor what their opinion is of fasting to the point where it decreases the function of the reproductive systems in your body

(January 3, 2013 at 1:03 pm)paulpablo Wrote:

Quote:Obviously its religion so is open to interpretation

thats one of the reasons i find it unimportant to follow any religion

Also you should ask a doctor what their opinion is of fasting to the point where it decreases the function of the reproductive systems in your body

I meant fasting during the day. So in short your to tired to wanna have sex. Not that it damages your reproductive organs or systems.

But back to the original question. It will probably depend on the individual as to why they have sex before marriage.

Quote:do you know why this is?

Just a guess but I would imagine it is because they are just as hypocritical as every other religious asshole throughout history.

(January 3, 2013 at 11:03 am)paulpablo Wrote: I dont know if this topic has done before, i couldnt find it in these forums but i might just be bad at using the search engine.
This question is directed more at muslims.
I have had quite a lot of muslim friends in my life and not one of them, even the more religious ones have taken sex before marriage seriously, do you know why this is?
Ive known muslim guys to have non muslim girlfriends so not only commiting sex before marriage but basically putting themselves in a situation where it will happen again inevitably.
Ive had a bengali muslim girlfriend who definitely didnt care about this and in fact only ever dated white non muslims for some reason.
Even the most religious guy i know who is a muslim has heavily hinted to me that he has had sex before and he isnt married.
His opinion was that the most important rule was to honour your parents and the rest of the sins were less important, but what are your opinions?

Response: Sex is the most intimate embrace between two people. Yet if a person is used sexually, it causes the most emotional and dramatizing feeling to the person. So the law in islam to marry first before sex is to prevent the harmful act of being used sexually. In other words, having sex based on lust, and not love.

To ensure that sex is taking place out of love and not simply out of lust or using one sexually to fulfill one's own desires, then islam allows sexual relations only with the promise to agree to love and protect each other as well in writing.