Apparently Satan is nothing but xtian horseshit. God needs an opponent to make the story more interesting so they appointed one.

http://michaelsheiser.com/TheNakedBible/...testament/

Quote:Basically, “the satan” in Job is an officer of the divine council (sort of like a prosecutor). His job is to “run to and fro throughout the earth” to see who is and who is not obeying Yahweh. When he finds someone who isn’t and is therefore under Yahweh’s wrath, he “accuses” that person. This is what we see in Job — and it actually has a distinct New Testament flavor. (We also see it in Zechariah 3). But the point here is that this satan is not evil; he’s doing his job. Over time (specifically the idea of “being an adversary in the heavenly council” was applied intellectually to the enemy of God — the nachash (typically rendered “serpent”) in Eden, the one who asserted his own will against Yahweh’s designs. That entity eventually becomes labeled “Satan” and so the adversarial role gets personified and stuck to God’s great enemy (also called the Devil). This is a good example of how an idea in Israelite religion plays out and is applied in different ways during the progress of revelation.

In short, the idiots needed a boogeyman.

(August 25, 2013 at 11:44 am)Minimalist Wrote: In short, the idiots needed a boogeyman.

Indeed, Satan is nothing more than a fabricated scapegoat for the actions and wrongdoings for which man was incapable of taking responsibility.

Oh, I didn't do that. It was the devil..

(August 24, 2013 at 7:31 pm)ronedee Wrote: First and foremost...Satan is all ego & lies.

Clue ronedee; this thread is about
satan, god's evil twin brother. You've
described god "all ego and lies."
Please stick to the topic.

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(August 25, 2013 at 11:47 am)Maelstrom Wrote:

(August 25, 2013 at 11:44 am)Minimalist Wrote: In short, the idiots needed a boogeyman.

Indeed, Satan is nothing more than a fabricated scapegoat for the actions and wrongdoings for which man was incapable of taking responsibility.

Oh, I didn't do that. It was the devil..

Very Good Call!

It's obvious, he's still working on that acheivement...

If Satan accumulates more souls than god, he wins the ultimate war of the afterlife and takes over the divine realm. Personally, I'm pulling for Satan because I've read god's book and god's plan, and it sucks!

God just wants millions of people kissing his ass all day and all night, singing him songs and praising him. Among the most distinguished guests will be Adolf Hitler and George Bush.

I don't know what kind of afterlife Satan intends to lead, but all the fun people are going to be there so I have to believe it will be better than heaven. Besides, who doesn't want to catch up with Albert Einstein in the afterlife and talk shop?

I've often heard from demons that souls are absolutely delicious toasted and dipped in melted chocolate. I expect that's what Satan wants them for. Wouldn't you?

(August 25, 2013 at 12:59 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote: I've often heard from demons that souls are absolutely delicious toasted and dipped in melted chocolate. I expect that's what Satan wants them for. Wouldn't you?

Them souls had better be wrapped in bacon and deep fried!

The notion that "all men are created equal" does become an increasing imposition to believe each time some grown men speaks of the nature of some demon with the sort of complete conviction a 5 year old might affect in speaking of Santa claus

(August 25, 2013 at 1:19 pm)freedomfromfallacy Wrote:

(August 25, 2013 at 12:59 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote: I've often heard from demons that souls are absolutely delicious toasted and dipped in melted chocolate. I expect that's what Satan wants them for. Wouldn't you?

Them souls had better be wrapped in bacon and deep fried!

But souls are sweet. They taste like a cross between strawberries and marshmallows.

(August 25, 2013 at 3:35 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote:

(August 25, 2013 at 1:19 pm)freedomfromfallacy Wrote: Them souls had better be wrapped in bacon and deep fried!

But souls are sweet. They taste like a cross between strawberries and marshmallows.

Have you seen Soul Eater? I barely watch animes but that one was good!