(December 10, 2013 at 12:08 pm)paulpablo Wrote: Slut is a bit negative because it's a lifestyle choice which can be dangerous because of STD's and unwanted pregnancies.

I don't know, I don't think that when a man calls a woman a slut, or even when a woman calls another woman a slut, I don't think it really has anything to do with STDs and such. I think it's more to do with the fact that promiscuous women are seen as less worthy as a potential partner (as opposed to worthy as a person - I don't that's the implication at all), the implication being that she loses a certain innocence or something like that, and that being promiscuous, for a woman at least, is seen as decreasing the likelihood of her being loyal. I read somewhere that a woman's ability to bond is closely linked to sex, as opposed to men, who can have sex with loads of people and not be affected in the same way. I think oxytocin has something to do with it, or so I read.

But either way, even if being promiscuous (a slut) does lessen a woman's ability to bond, and even it does lessen her ability to be loyal, and even if she does lose a certain innocence, I can't understand how that's any reason to see her as not being a good potential long term partner and that's why the word ought to be reclaimed, to make the point that women can make the same lifestyle choices as men without having to face being shamed for it.

Maybe it's all just human nature, or maybe it's gender norms (whether or not those norms arise as a result of human nature), but there are clearly biases which need to be challenged. I do realize that animals have certain set male / female behaviours which are beneficial to their species as a whole, but we're a step above animals, and we have the ability and the right to make whatever lifestyle choices we want, and to make mistakes too.

Sometimes when preparing for an evening out, my girlfriend will ask me "too slutty?" to which my standard response is "not slutty enough!" Bring it on baby!

We have discussed this and agree it makes no sense to have two standards where the man is a real man if he has lots of sex and a woman is bad for the same thing. Ancient patriarchy dies hard I guess.

To paraphrase Garrett Morris, where ARE all these slutty women?

I think the reason that men are seen as real men if they have lots of sex is because of the typical male/female roles where normally the man has to pursue the woman and win her over in order to bed her down. For some reason, it's deemed "wrong" if a woman takes that role and initiates a sexual encounter or gives in easily. It's not fair one way or the other, but that's probably the basis for it.

Slut: woman with the sexual morals of a man.

I think reclaiming the word slut is merely treating the symptom instead of the disease. I'm not sure how effective it would be at fighting the double standard.

(December 10, 2013 at 4:08 pm)Faith No More Wrote: I think reclaiming the word slut is merely treating the symptom instead of the disease. I'm not sure how effective it would be at fighting the double standard.

Or exacerbating the disease, maybe. I'm still not convinced that reclaiming nasty words works.

I like being called a slut in bed, because I'm not one. Analyze that .

(December 10, 2013 at 4:10 pm)Zazzy Wrote: Or exacerbating the disease, maybe. I'm still not convinced that reclaiming nasty words works.

But even if it did, it doesn't appear to me that anything positive would be accomplished, except for taking some of the power away from the word. But the thing about language is there is always a substitute.

I told my GF I would get her a black t-shirt that says "Slutty" on the front.

Mine would read "Sluttier", which is probably true, but not by much.

Ah, the double-standard still exists even in my dirty little paradise.

(December 10, 2013 at 12:23 pm)Kiko Wrote:

(December 10, 2013 at 12:08 pm)paulpablo Wrote: Slut is a bit negative because it's a lifestyle choice which can be dangerous because of STD's and unwanted pregnancies.

I don't know, I don't think that when a man calls a woman a slut, or even when a woman calls another woman a slut, I don't think it really has anything to do with STDs and such. I think it's more to do with the fact that promiscuous women are seen as less worthy as a potential partner (as opposed to worthy as a person - I don't that's the implication at all), the implication being that she loses a certain innocence or something like that, and that being promiscuous, for a woman at least, is seen as decreasing the likelihood of her being loyal. I read somewhere that a woman's ability to bond is closely linked to sex, as opposed to men, who can have sex with loads of people and not be affected in the same way. I think oxytocin has something to do with it, or so I read.

But either way, even if being promiscuous (a slut) does lessen a woman's ability to bond, and even it does lessen her ability to be loyal, and even if she does lose a certain innocence, I can't understand how that's any reason to see her as not being a good potential long term partner and that's why the word ought to be reclaimed, to make the point that women can make the same lifestyle choices as men without having to face being shamed for it.

Maybe it's all just human nature, or maybe it's gender norms (whether or not those norms arise as a result of human nature), but there are clearly biases which need to be challenged. I do realize that animals have certain set male / female behaviours which are beneficial to their species as a whole, but we're a step above animals, and we have the ability and the right to make whatever lifestyle choices we want, and to make mistakes too.

Based on what you have said I'd the negativity of being a slut would be based on the negative aspects of being disloyal, with less ability to bond and to lose innocence (whatever that is).

This argument is like something in alice in wonderland to me,
you can't see why a slut (promiscuous women) would be a see as any less of a good long term partner?
It depends if someone is looking for a long term fuck buddy or looking for a relationship with commitment, by definition I would have thought slut means a person with a severe lack of commitment to a relationship.

I personally think we are animals so therefore not a step above them, humans are classed in the great ape family and our mating habits are slightly similar to other apes, I've seen documentaries with female apes going behind the dominant males back and having sex with less dominant males based on communication with sneaky facial expressions.
Sluttiness in the animal kingdom is beneficial at times because it increases competition between sperm and the sexual partners themselves and probably has something to do with the evolution of our subtle facial expressions and communications.
I think people should be free to live how they want to live but if people don't like the live style choice of slutty behavior and frown upon people who do it then that's also their choice.