Women reclaiming the word SLUT

[Kiko]

I don't know, I don't think that when a man calls a woman a slut, or even when a woman calls another woman a slut, I don't think it really has anything to do with STDs and such. I think it's more to do with the fact that promiscuous women are seen as less worthy as a potential partner (as opposed to worthy as a person - I don't that's the implication at all), the implication being that she loses a certain innocence or something like that, and that being promiscuous, for a woman at least, is seen as decreasing the likelihood of her being loyal. I read somewhere that a woman's ability to bond is closely linked to sex, as opposed to men, who can have sex with loads of people and not be affected in the same way. I think oxytocin has something to do with it, or so I read.

But either way, even if being promiscuous (a slut) does lessen a woman's ability to bond, and even it does lessen her ability to be loyal, and even if she does lose a certain innocence, I can't understand how that's any reason to see her as not being a good potential long term partner and that's why the word ought to be reclaimed, to make the point that women can make the same lifestyle choices as men without having to face being shamed for it.

Maybe it's all just human nature, or maybe it's gender norms (whether or not those norms arise as a result of human nature), but there are clearly biases which need to be challenged. I do realize that animals have certain set male / female behaviours which are beneficial to their species as a whole, but we're a step above animals, and we have the ability and the right to make whatever lifestyle choices we want, and to make mistakes too.

Based on what you have said I'd the negativity of being a slut would be based on the negative aspects of being disloyal, with less ability to bond and to lose innocence (whatever that is).

This argument is like something in alice in wonderland to me,
you can't see why a slut (promiscuous women) would be a see as any less of a good long term partner?
It depends if someone is looking for a long term fuck buddy or looking for a relationship with commitment, by definition I would have thought slut means a person with a severe lack of commitment to a relationship.

I personally think we are animals so therefore not a step above them, humans are classed in the great ape family and our mating habits are slightly similar to other apes, I've seen documentaries with female apes going behind the dominant males back and having sex with less dominant males based on communication with sneaky facial expressions.
Sluttiness in the animal kingdom is beneficial at times because it increases competition between sperm and the sexual partners themselves and probably has something to do with the evolution of our subtle facial expressions and communications.
I think people should be free to live how they want to live but if people don't like the live style choice of slutty behavior and frown upon people who do it then that's also their choice.

I'm sure we've all heard it said that men have major issues with commitment, but perhaps that in itself is just another gender stereotype. Maybe there are men whose reason to frown upon promiscuous women is that they feel that she would fail to be a loyal, committed partner, and / or that she doesn't know how to form a solid bond (commitment), rather than it being any attempt to shame or control her in any way, which I think would be pretty futile anyway in this day and age. But then again if a man is so big and tough I don't see why he would be so insecure about it. If it wasn't for patriarchy and gender norms life would be a lot simpler.

[Whateverist]

Me. (Don't tell my wife.)


No. Seriously, it is already happening. Some of my stepson's friends call themselves sluts in a positive way. Essentially they're saying "I like sex", "I'm not buying any of the guilt associated with that" and "no, I'm not going act all meek in order to avoid being violated by big strong men".

Hmm. Good point. However, isn't it a problem when that message isn't clear to others? Is it appropriate for white boys to call black boys "nigga," since the word has been reclaimed? Is it appropriate for boys to call girls "sluts" once the word has been reclaimed? There is no guarantee that the meaning of the reclaimed word will be the same to all groups- and mightn't it further the cultural divide? Or do you think ultimately such words are totally defanged if given enough time- to the extent that it's totally OK for white boys to use the term "nigga" because they see if as a cool expression of brotherhood instead of as an insult?

It did strike me more as something the girls would say about and to each other than something my stepson or his male friends would say to them.

[Optimistic Mysanthrope]

I'm sure we've all heard it said that men have major issues with commitment, but perhaps that in itself is just another gender stereotype. Maybe there are men whose reason to frown upon promiscuous women is that they feel that she would fail to be a loyal, committed partner, and / or that she doesn't know how to form a solid bond (commitment), rather than it being any attempt to shame or control her in any way, which I think would be pretty futile anyway in this day and age. But then again if a man is so big and tough I don't see why he would be so insecure about it. If it wasn't for patriarchy and gender norms life would be a lot simpler.

There is a big difference between being insecure and not wanting to get your heart ripped out, chewed up and shat on. Someone who'll fuck anything that moves is less likely to be a faithful partner, regardless of gender. Being a "real man" doesn't mean you have to be an emotionless shell. Also, women are somewhat less likely to be deceived into thinking that someone else's child is their own. That has nothing to do with gender bias, it's just biology.

[Mister Agenda]

I like being called a slut in bed, because I'm not one. Analyze that .

That's pretty normal, but I'm not sure why it's normal. The urge to call someone a name you otherwise wouldn't, or liking being called something you're not or normally wouldn't like to be called...it IS a thing. I like to call a woman I'm having sex with names I wouldn't ordinarily use, and I've been called names (sometimes odd ones) without it bothering me. Sex is something we (most of us, at least) don't ordinarily do in public, and I think many of us tend to go with it and heighten the sense of 'getting away with doing something we shouldn't be' by bringing in further minor transgressions of public propriety. But maybe it's just something to do with our wiring.

---

There is a big difference between being insecure and not wanting to get your heart ripped out, chewed up and shat on. Someone who'll fuck anything that moves is less likely to be a faithful partner, regardless of gender. Being a "real man" doesn't mean you have to be an emotionless shell. Also, women are somewhat less likely to be deceived into thinking that someone else's child is their own. That has nothing to do with gender bias, it's just biology.

You can make a case that jealousy is more selected for in men. A man without jealousy winds up raising the children of other men. That particular biological risk isn't present for women; but jealousy can pay off biologically for women who don't let their men leave them with the kids without a fight.

Mitigating this is that the man raising some other guys kids may still have kids of his own with his sleep-around wife; and the woman whose husband runs off may find a replacement to help bring home the venison.

[Anomalocaris]

I don't think the word slut is disparaging at all. In fact, I appreciate women who would be called sluts. They are diligent. They keep themselves in practice during their off times so I can enjoy them more when they are on.

I don't much care for the lazy ones who think they can just wring it when the guest of honor arrives.

[JesusHChrist]

Exactly. What's with all the clamoring for virgins?

I want experience dammit!

[TaraJo]

About 5 years ago, I started transitioning and a large part of starting the process was letting go of what other people thought of me. Now, five years later, I'm still not that concerned with what others believe and I've come to realize something: way too many people are way too worried about what other people think when it really doesn't matter.

So, go ahead and call me a slut or a cunt or a tranny or whatever you want to call me. Unless it's going to keep me from getting a job or an apartment or something like that, I really couldn't care less.

Perhaps the question that needs to be asked is why so many people are so concerned with the inconsequential details to what other people think?

[The Valkyrie]

About 5 years ago, I started transitioning and a large part of starting the process was letting go of what other people thought of me. Now, five years later, I'm still not that concerned with what others believe and I've come to realize something: way too many people are way too worried about what other people think when it really doesn't matter.

So, go ahead and call me a slut or a cunt or a tranny or whatever you want to call me. Unless it's going to keep me from getting a job or an apartment or something like that, I really couldn't care less.

Perhaps the question that needs to be asked is why so many people are so concerned with the inconsequential details to what other people think?

I have to agree.

Unfortunately I'm still rather hung up on the word.

Last guy to call me a slut to my face received a close encounter of the knee kind to his low hanging regions. (Well for that and the fact he grabbed my tits at the same time).

hock:

[Napoléon]

Last guy to call me a slut to my face received a close encounter of the knee kind to his low hanging regions. (Well for that and the fact he grabbed my tits at the same time).

hock:

I called a girl a slut on a night out.

Wasn't the best decision I've ever made.

[TaraJo]

I have to agree.

Unfortunately I'm still rather hung up on the word.

Last guy to call me a slut to my face received a close encounter of the knee kind to his low hanging regions. (Well for that and the fact he grabbed my tits at the same time).

hock:

Yeah, that's about how I'm going to react if some random guy grabs my breasts. And I'm not going to be concerned if he says I'm being a bitch or too aggressive or anything like that. Did it get him to stop grabbing me? If so, I don't care what he calls me.