(January 29, 2014 at 12:07 am)Stimbo Wrote: I have until the end of February to at least get one kiss, one cuddle from a girl who doesn't turn her head away so as not to endure my presence. One moment when I don't feel like I'm disconnected from the human race. Anything more intimate is a bonus, of course, not to mention cloud fucking cuckoo land.

I would like to be angry at you for thinking that anyone as awesome as you feel that someone else can fill your hole inside, and that you'll somehow will be a better person for it. But that would be hypocritical, I was in the exact same place almost five years ago, I was self-destructive and Scruffy pulled me out of harm's way. However, be careful what you wish for. If you only want a kiss and a cuddle, remember that it was what you settled for, before going into the fight. If a romantic relationship is what you actually want, don't settle on a kiss, you'll be never satisfied that way. Trust me, I've been there too. My wish was to have just someone, who would love me, and I ended up in a mentally abusive relationship, where I had no respect whatsoever for my boyfriend. Not an alluring prospect.
If a kiss is actually all you want, and you haven't gotten it by the last week of February, I'm taking a plane to the UK and you'll have to fight me off, or I'll plant a wet one on your lips.
You're a grown man, I cannot tell you what to do, but remember, there are a lot of persons here who care for you and even love you. It might not be the love you're looking for, but you still have it. Don't forget that.

(January 29, 2014 at 5:29 pm)EgoRaptor Wrote: Go kill yourself feminazi! I tried to kill myself twice over a girl. I know how hard it can be. Sex is a right, BTW. Only prudes & feminazis disagree.

Um no. Just no. This in part is why we don't let you drink, drive or vote. Now play nice.

(January 29, 2014 at 5:29 pm)EgoRaptor Wrote: Go kill yourself feminazi! I tried to kill myself twice over a girl. I know how hard it can be. Sex is a right, BTW. Only prudes & feminazis disagree.

A right? That must be why rape is legal. Oh, wait a second...

(January 29, 2014 at 5:29 pm)EgoRaptor Wrote: Go kill yourself feminazi! I tried to kill myself twice over a girl. I know how hard it can be. Sex is a right, BTW. Only prudes & feminazis disagree.

Sex is a right, you're allowed to have sex as much as you want, any way you want... assuming the other party is consenting and you aren't, like, dismembering him or her. What you don't have is the right to force anyone else, nor does anyone have an obligation to do so. Frankly, Ego, why would you want either of those things? Is busting your nut really so important that you'd rape someone/ proceed fully in the knowledge that she's only doing it to satisfy this weird hypothetical social convention you're positing, and not because she actually wants to ride bone mountain?

Oh, and before you go off about me being a prude, I'm a kinky bisexual with a past in polyamory who's a total supporter of casual sex assuming both parties are consenting. And I'm no feminazi.

Money, women, wine...
Such things are nothing but dust, my friend. They come and go. They weigh heavily upon your heart even if you don't have them, they weigh even more heavily when you do.
Being so focused on such meek pleasures is enough to drive any man insane. Best you train your body, mind and soul to be happy without depending on them. As the Buddha says, craving leads to suffering.
There is truth in those words. Emptiness is form, and form is emptiness. You have an emptiness in your heart, which shapes your life. Your life on the other hand, has shaped this emptiness.

"Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own lovelessness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it."

- D.H. Lawrence

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

- Rumi

(January 29, 2014 at 11:21 pm)kılıç_mehmet Wrote: Money, women, wine...
Such things are nothing but dust, my friend. They come and go. They weigh heavily upon your heart even if you don't have them, they weigh even more heavily when you do.
Being so focused on such meek pleasures is enough to drive any man insane. Best you train your body, mind and soul to be happy without depending on them. As the Buddha says, craving leads to suffering.
There is truth in those words. Emptiness is form, and form is emptiness. You have an emptiness in your heart, which shapes your life. Your life on the other hand, has shaped this emptiness.

Yes, well; if you'll indulge me, the buddha was a git. As self-indulgent as this sounds, I'm the sort of person who can only be complete, or even alive in a functioning sense, in the happiness of another. Sam and I had this thing in which we would get really close, enough that we could see ourselves reflected in the other's eyes. It was as if I was inside her mind looking out through her beautiful eyes. The nearest I've been able to hope for lately is a perfunctory hug with "a friend" in which she turns her head away so as not to be involved more than necessary. It's the stale bread and jam to the twelve-course banquet of yesteryear.

---

(January 29, 2014 at 2:46 am)Rayaan Wrote: Just one kiss or one cuddle from a girl will make you feel connected to the human race again? Otherwise you feel disconnected? ... Come on Stimbo.

Yes.

It's hard to explain what it's like to have to go through my days on the outside, seeing everyone else (in my perception, which of course is wrong etc) paired up and being together, just as Sam and I would. Seven billion people in the world, three and a half billion couples - potential and actual - and then there's me. Accurate or not, true or otherwise, that's how it feels to me. Amd I've had it. For nearly four years (3pm Sunday May 16 2010) I've been adrift. Michelle is right; Sam is better off dead than with me and I'm gonna die alone.

Kaye, I accept your offer. Or is it a chellenge? Either way, I'm yours.

(January 30, 2014 at 4:17 pm)Stimbo Wrote: It was as if I was inside her mind looking out through her beautiful eyes.

Firstly, the Turk is a serious motherfucker. Secondly, if I'm there with my Gwynnies, a stud like you has got no problems.

(January 30, 2014 at 4:17 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Kaye, I accept your offer. Or is it a challenge? Either way, I'm yours.

There you go. Fail-safe. Idiot-proof. idiot

(I know, I prolly shouldn't be like that, but, I'm really like that. )

Right. As the more perceptive of you will be aware, today is when I hit my deadline. I know some of you will probably roll your eyes at this sub-melodrama, however I end the month pretty much the way I began it. Maybe it's some tiny spark of self-preservation that I thought long gone, certainly inactive, but I may just have been thrown the flimsiest promise of a straw in the shape of a young lady who is single, knew Sam, and has apparently been asking after me. Beyond that all I was given was her name, and there is only one person who fits that description; basically a girl whom I haven't seen or heard from for something like seven or eight years. I've yet to hear anything more, I'm waiting on a third party who has all the information and is taking it upon himself to intervene. The last time that happened, I fell instantly in mutual love with the sweetest, most gorgeous girl I ever had the privilege of knowing. I'm not expecting that to happen again; basic companionship is all I crave.

This month wasn't helped by the fact that yesterday - 27 February, for the record - marked what should have been the thirteenth anniversary of the day we first met. I'm afraid I haven't taken any of this at all well.

Fortunately, after all the recent drama, Shell and I are back as friends. She knows, now, how much she hurt me (or at least exacerbated the hurt) and actually seems now to be much more understanding than she has been. I've even noticed what would normally be termed flirting. Wishful thinking, maybe, but I'm not so sure.

Anyway, deadline extended for now.

Thank you! I'd been wondering if we weren't fast approaching your deadline and I'm greatly relieved to know you got past it.

Best of luck with the new gal. I can't imagine you're the sort of chap that comes unglued in the presence of a woman and if you keep your copious wit about you I don't see how you can miss. (They love that, or at least the ones you'd enjoy do.)