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RE: The Secual Experience for Men
July 27, 2015 at 11:08 am
Yeah, I had a similar experience, Rob. I do tend to think it was an artifact of Christianity seeping in. Although, even without religion, parents in the states tend to cast a shadow on anything sex related by either saying out right that its bad, or by treating sex like the drug addicted uncle that "we never talk about".
My ex and I are doing whatever we can to be the opposite of that with our daughter. It's funny because even though we have an open door policy on ANY subject matter, she still gets uneasy and shies away a bit when we talk about sex related things with her, so maybe a little bit of it is innately embarrassing.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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RE: The Secual Experience for Men
July 27, 2015 at 12:00 pm
(This post was last modified: July 27, 2015 at 12:02 pm by robvalue.)
It sounds like you have a great attitude 
My parents are useless prudes, they didn't teach me one single thing at all regarding anything sexual. Didn't even try.
I agree, it can be an embarrassing subject. But I would wager that knowing you are open to discussion without judgement means your children are far more likely to come to you, and to eventually talk about it. Because of the attitude of my parents, I never approached them. I'm sure I would have done, if I felt they were receptive.
I've gone from dirty shameful little boy to talking about my masturbation protocols in public... Oh how proud my parents would be!
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RE: The Secual Experience for Men
July 27, 2015 at 1:28 pm
(July 27, 2015 at 3:55 am)robvalue Wrote: I actually feel a jarring switch way more when I masturbate. One moment I'm filled with sexual drive, excited, unable to contain myself any more... Then I feel utterly ridiculous, whatever pornography I have seems bizarre. I know I haven't done anything wrong, but I feel rather "pathetic" for indulging my primal urges.
After sex with someone I love, it is very different. I feel a sense of satisfaction. A kind of warm glow, and I bask in the love of my partner. I don't feel pathetic at all, but rather that I've been a part of something beautiful. Of course all the sexual drive falls from me instantly, but it does not seem jarring, and it's what it gets replaced with that is very different.
I've not had sex with anyone I didn't love (or at least thought I loved) so I can't comment on that.
(July 27, 2015 at 10:44 am)robvalue Wrote: I wonder if my feelings following masturbation are linked to my childhood. It was always treated in a very shameful way. Not healthy at all. I'd never thought about that before. I reckon I'm onto something.
Many times people who speak of masturbation as something shameful, speak of sex generally as shameful. Were your parents promoting the idea that you should be going out and having sex instead of masturbating? If not, then I think it unlikely that that explains the difference in how you feel about the different activities.
Unless you have the world's greatest hand, the two experiences are quite significantly different from each other. Plus, if you are masturbating alone, it has no social component. It does not bring you closer to your wife.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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RE: The Secual Experience for Men
July 27, 2015 at 1:29 pm
(July 27, 2015 at 11:08 am)Exian Wrote: Yeah, I had a similar experience, Rob. I do tend to think it was an artifact of Christianity seeping in. Although, even without religion, parents in the states tend to cast a shadow on anything sex related by either saying out right that its bad, or by treating sex like the drug addicted uncle that "we never talk about".
My ex and I are doing whatever we can to be the opposite of that with our daughter. It's funny because even though we have an open door policy on ANY subject matter, she still gets uneasy and shies away a bit when we talk about sex related things with her, so maybe a little bit of it is innately embarrassing.
My guess is that your daughter is picking up on the attitudes of society at large.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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RE: The Secual Experience for Men
July 27, 2015 at 1:31 pm
(This post was last modified: July 27, 2015 at 1:31 pm by robvalue.)
Lol you may be right No, they weren't suggesting anything, quite the contrary. They were way too prudish.
You're right, the fact that I'm on my own does make it an entirely different experience, and no I just have a regular hand  The weird after feelings may have been exaggerated since I became depressed as well, it's hard to remember.
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RE: The Secual Experience for Men
July 27, 2015 at 1:31 pm
I've done the friends with benefits relationship, and with the right person it's not bad. Part of me loves commitment, and part of me is scared shitless of it, so FWB is a good way to avoid resolving that conundrum.
I certainly much prefer loving the woman I'm laying with. I find the sex is much more satisfying for me -- my orgasms are more intense than FWB sex.
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