Posts: 30129
Threads: 304
Joined: April 18, 2014
Reputation:
92
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 11:09 pm
My worst (relatively speaking) poop experience occurred in a pasture while riding my wide tired mini-bike and encountering an extremely fresh cow pie, which, unfortunately, exploded on impact.
When I got home I was hosed off out doors before being allowed in to finish cleaning up.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
Posts: 23918
Threads: 300
Joined: June 25, 2011
Reputation:
151
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 11:18 pm
My dog once rolled in a fresh cow pie with great satisfaction. The color was a luminescent grey blue. The look of pride on her face was unmistakable. Unfortunately we were staying with Lia's parents so she lost her welcome indoors and I had to scrub mightily before I was willing to take her in the car back home.
Posts: 30129
Threads: 304
Joined: April 18, 2014
Reputation:
92
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 11:23 pm
I have seen dogs do worse.
{shudder}
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
Posts: 5706
Threads: 67
Joined: June 13, 2014
Reputation:
69
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 7, 2015 at 12:15 am
(August 6, 2015 at 11:18 pm)Whateverist the White Wrote: My dog once rolled in a fresh cow pie with great satisfaction. The color was a luminescent grey blue. The look of pride on her face was unmistakable. Unfortunately we were staying with Lia's parents so she lost her welcome indoors and I had to scrub mightily before I was willing to take her in the car back home.
Ours rolled in something outback. We still haven't figured out what. But we ended up treating it like skunk spray before we could take her inside.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
Posts: 23199
Threads: 26
Joined: February 2, 2010
Reputation:
106
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 7, 2015 at 12:38 am
Well, dogs love poop so much they eat the stuff ... rolling in the *clover* must be a good day for them.
Man's best friend for a reason, I suppose.
Posts: 5165
Threads: 514
Joined: December 26, 2013
Reputation:
60
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 7, 2015 at 1:09 am
I pretend that the bathroom in general doesn't exist. I don't wanba think about it.
Posts: 15452
Threads: 147
Joined: June 15, 2015
Reputation:
88
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 7, 2015 at 2:19 am
(August 7, 2015 at 1:09 am)BrokenQuill92 Wrote: I pretend that the bathroom in general doesn't exist. I don't wanba think about it.
How can you pretend it doesn't exist when you have to use it every single day, multiple times a day? Embrace your humanity, BQ! You poop! Say it! 
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
Posts: 23918
Threads: 300
Joined: June 25, 2011
Reputation:
151
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 7, 2015 at 2:39 am
(August 7, 2015 at 2:19 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: (August 7, 2015 at 1:09 am)BrokenQuill92 Wrote: I pretend that the bathroom in general doesn't exist. I don't wanba think about it.
How can you pretend it doesn't exist when you have to use it every single day, multiple times a day? Embrace your humanity, BQ! You poop! Say it!
You could even say "animal nature".
Posts: 18510
Threads: 129
Joined: January 19, 2014
Reputation:
91
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 7, 2015 at 6:15 am
(August 6, 2015 at 11:20 am)Exian Wrote: (August 6, 2015 at 1:51 am)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: I usually just say I have to use the toilet. Effective enough
*leans in to the other guests at the table and whispers loudly* "He's gonna go poop."
C_L, you're speaking my language now. Poo has never been taboo in my family. Can't think of anything that's taboo in my family actually.
When Alex was talking about changing diapers, I wanted to share this story but TMI, so now here it is:
When my daughter was a baby, we eventually put her on formula (sensitive nips on the Ex). Well, we found some soy formula and decide to try that for a while. One night my daughter wakes up screaming her head off with that distinctive unvoiced infant screech. The type of scream that forgoes the vocal chords and just uses the sheer force of the throat slapping together at high speeds. Horrid. Does she want a bottle? No. Bounced? No. Ah, must need a diaper change. Nope! Clean diaper. And still screaming. But hang on a minute! What's this? Ah, here's the problem; a super dehydrated turd nugget twice the circumference of her normal movements stuck in her butthole! Apparently, the soy formula is a baaaad idea. So, of course, my lady nominates me to extract the turd. Which only took about a second of decision making, since the screeching sort of hurries you along. I dive in and grab the turtle head and start easing it out. It snaps off and now its flush with her butthole...
It snaps off and now its flush with her butthole...thought I should say that twice. Now I gotta dig in to get the bugger out, which I did. End of story.
I was a big hero. My daughter stopped crying immediately and fell asleep. I stayed up and went to work.
Thanks for sharing  So far, everything is fluffy, I'll get back to you if the situation changes
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
Posts: 23918
Threads: 300
Joined: June 25, 2011
Reputation:
151
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 7, 2015 at 9:46 am
(August 6, 2015 at 11:23 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: (August 6, 2015 at 11:20 am)Exian Wrote: *leans in to the other guests at the table and whispers loudly* "He's gonna go poop."
C_L, you're speaking my language now. Poo has never been taboo in my family. Can't think of anything that's taboo in my family actually.
When Alex was talking about changing diapers, I wanted to share this story but TMI, so now here it is:
When my daughter was a baby, we eventually put her on formula (sensitive nips on the Ex). Well, we found some soy formula and decide to try that for a while. One night my daughter wakes up screaming her head off with that distinctive unvoiced infant screech. The type of scream that forgoes the vocal chords and just uses the sheer force of the throat slapping together at high speeds. Horrid. Does she want a bottle? No. Bounced? No. Ah, must need a diaper change. Nope! Clean diaper. And still screaming. But hang on a minute! What's this? Ah, here's the problem; a super dehydrated turd nugget twice the circumference of her normal movements stuck in her butthole! Apparently, the soy formula is a baaaad idea. So, of course, my lady nominates me to extract the turd. Which only took about a second of decision making, since the screeching sort of hurries you along. I dive in and grab the turtle head and start easing it out. It snaps off and now its flush with her butthole...
It snaps off and now its flush with her butthole...thought I should say that twice. Now I gotta dig in to get the bugger out, which I did. End of story.
I was a big hero. My daughter stopped crying immediately and fell asleep. I stayed up and went to work.
LOL!
Wow. Please tell me you were wearing gloves??
Or at least that you subsequently elected to get that finger amputated?
|
