preachers on AF rant

[Mr Greene]

That about sums it up. Some people who may otherwise be very good at assigning probabilities suddenly go doo-lally if their religion is on the line.

Doo-lally! Where did that come from, not said that in a long time.

Doolalli;
Maharashtra, India
Former East India Company and subsequently Raj sanitorium for those employees / soldiers who developed mental health problems.
Subsequently used as slang meaning "insane".

edit: Oops, ninja'd

[thehedglin]

The D&D one is amazing.

Have you seen the one about Noah and the flood? It has panels that show people riding dinosaurs, and claims that the Earth was encased in a huge canopy of ice that orbited above the atmosphere.  Weather was perfect everywhere, and everyone lived to be 900 years old.   Heh.    

Please tell me you are joking, I don't want to believe anyone that stupid manages to survive outside of a state-run hospital...

[robvalue]

No jokes. Jack Chick is insane. Check it out!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-YI_D0QoRo

[drfuzzy]

Have you seen the one about Noah and the flood? It has panels that show people riding dinosaurs, and claims that the Earth was encased in a huge canopy of ice that orbited above the atmosphere.  Weather was perfect everywhere, and everyone lived to be 900 years old.   Heh.    

Please tell me you are joking, I don't want to believe anyone that stupid manages to survive outside of a state-run hospital...

Not joking.  And the thing that frightens me is that this moron has MILLIONS of devoted followers who praise him for the people his inspired works have "brought to Christ".

[thehedglin]

How can they not realize that a canopy of ice would reflect the majority of light from the sun, and be virtually opaque?

[JesusHChrist]

For a while, I thought Chick tracts were intended as parody. Oops!

Another time, some earnest missionary types, came a knocking on my door. I was a young teen at the time. They proceeded to tell me about the flood, and the "water canopy over the Earth" and so forth. Being a science-y kind of lad, I laughed a bit, and said "good one!", and then later, "OMG you are serious!" Peels of laughter ensued.

Like door to door sales, rejection and dejection is the missionaries' lot unfortunately.

[Drich]

[quote pid='1035996' dateline='1440966706']


Either way the question now is if God sent you a messenger to out line your whole life for you (past present and future) would you deny Him?

Well firstly I would need extradinary evidence that this was true and as I have no idea what sort of thing this could possibly be becuase of the nebulous way god is defined. So theres that. But mostly I would think what a fucking nerve, trying to tell me what to do.
[/quote]

Again take what happened to me...

Start with a stranger appearing out of no where asking for a ride, because it is really cold you give him one. and before you can say two words he tells you about everything currently bothering you. (your struggles in life) then tells you how to successfully resolve them. Then tells you about some of the things you asked for in prayer that you've told no one about, tells you how and when they will be answered. Then tells you about things you done and thought you got away with when no one was looking.. Next how about ask him a question in your mind, to only have him stop mid sentence, answer your question, then continue on with what he was telling you about what is to come, and how you will work with/for God, and how you will be give more to be responsible for... and to finish out he disappears in a wide open space in the time it takes one to do a U-turn.

Then live out the next 20 years only to see the things He said come true. over and over again.

screw everyone else and what they had to say, would that be enough for you to believe? This was just the start of the amazing things that has happened in my life. Again, these things were for me, so that i may know. Why? I was and continue to be a doubting Thomas. Christ said blessed are those who believe and yet do not see... He never said he would cast those aside who could not believe with out the same type of proof Thomas needed. Why do you think He gave Thomas everything He needed to establish and maintain his faith? Why would he then forsake the billions of others who's only down fall is that of Thomas that He so easily cured?

Answer: HE Didn't! We have been give the opportunity Thomas had, in that we can Have a measure of the Holy Spirit indewell us. This literally means a person of God becomes apart of your life, apart of who you are. He is the one who Establishes and maintain one's faith, He is the liaison between us and the Father. What better proof of God is their than to have God with you?

Again, all we need do is Ask, Seek and Knock for the measure of the Holy Spirit promised to us by Christ in luke 11. Then when we get that measure of the Spirit we simply be faithful to it. Meaning you might start to develop a 'different' sense of what is right and what is wrong. You can not ignore that for the sake of your pop morality. Otherwise you will be lost to God. Or you may feel a need/want to learn more, ask question or God forbid read your bible again. You can't silence that. feed this urge to know god better and your efforts will be rewarded. God knows exactly what you need to establish and maintain real belief, all we must do (on our own time/pace) is A/S/K and just be faithful to whatever measure we have been given.

[abaris]

Please tell me you are joking, I don't want to believe anyone that stupid manages to survive outside of a state-run hospital...

There you go.



Personally I'm not entirely sure if Ham's a red blooded idiot or just some clever money maker.

[drfuzzy]

Well firstly I would need extradinary evidence that this was true and as I have no idea what sort of thing this could possibly be becuase of the nebulous way god is defined. So theres that. But mostly I would think what a fucking nerve, trying to tell me what to do.

Again take what happened to me...

Start with a stranger appearing out of no where asking for a ride, because it is really cold you give him one. and before you can say two words he tells you about everything currently bothering you. (your struggles in life) then tells you how to successfully resolve them. Then tells you about some of the things you asked for in prayer that you've told no one about, tells you how and when they will be answered. Then tells you about things you done and thought you got away with when no one was looking.. Next how about ask him a question in your mind, to only have him stop mid sentence, answer your question, then continue on with what he was telling you about what is to come, and how you will work with/for God, and how you will be give more to be responsible for... and to finish out he disappears in a wide open space in the time it takes one to do a U-turn.

Then live out the next 20 years only to see the things He said come true. over and over again.

screw everyone else and what they had to say, would that be enough for you to believe? This was just the start of the amazing things that has happened in my life. Again, these things were for me, so that i may know. Why? I was and continue to be a doubting Thomas. Christ said blessed are those who believe and yet do not see... He never said he would cast those aside who could not believe with out the same type of proof Thomas needed. Why do you think He gave Thomas everything He needed to establish and maintain his faith? Why would he then forsake the billions of others who's only down fall is that of Thomas that He so easily cured?

Answer: HE Didn't! We have been give the opportunity Thomas had, in that we can Have a measure of the Holy Spirit indewell us. This literally means a person of God becomes apart of your life, apart of who you are. He is the one who Establishes and maintain one's faith, He is the liaison between us and the Father. What better proof of God is their than to have God with you?

Again, all we need do is Ask, Seek and Knock for the measure of the Holy Spirit promised to us by Christ in luke 11. Then when we get that measure of the Spirit we simply be faithful to it. Meaning you might start to develop a 'different' sense of what is right and what is wrong. You can not ignore that for the sake of your pop morality. Otherwise you will be lost to God. Or you may feel a need/want to learn more, ask question or God forbid read your bible again. You can't silence that. feed this urge to know god better and your efforts will be rewarded. God knows exactly what you need to establish and maintain real belief, all we must do (on our own time/pace) is A/S/K and just be faithful to whatever measure we have been given.
[/quote]

================================
Someone told you everything you had done, prayed for, was telepathic, and changed your whole view of life. 
Uh huh. I was about to ask you if you hijacked the woman at the well story very often.  But then!

Ooh, Drippy, you'll never GUESS what happened to me on the way home from work!  I ran out of gas. There I was, on the highway in the heat, miles away from any gas station, calling friends for help, when this white Hummer pulled up.  This guy got out, and the combination of his blinding white shirt and the sun meant that I couldn't really see his face.  I told him that I was out of gas, he said "don't worry" and started pulling out big jugs of water.  Two of the most BEAUTIFUL creatures I had ever seen took the jugs, and carried them to my car.  When they opened the water jugs, it was obvious that they had somehow turned the water into premium gasoline!  As the guys poured it into the tank, the first guy said "Now, please be nicer to DRich. And stop telling people I don't exist! If you keep posting stuff like that one of them will go postal."

I answered "But -- the Bible has all of these contradictions in it . . . " He waved his hand - "I know, it's a mess. I didn't write it."  "But you could fix it! And you could let everyone know you exist right now, I have a phone . . "  "Sorry, it's not in the plan."   

I wanted to spend more time with the two creatures and they knew it. They said that they were visiting to find themselves some human tail, but since I was an atheist. I wouldn't do. Besides, they were a hankerin' for a true believer guy that would scream "oh God" all night.  I told them you'd be perfect - you'll love them. 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME???  It's MY story, and it's PROOF.  If you call me a liar you're a poopy-head.  You'll be sorry when they show up.

[thehedglin]

Personally I'm not entirely sure if Ham's a red blooded idiot or just some clever money maker.

Every time I start gaining some modicum of respect for my own miserable species one has to go and do something so inane that it is a wonder they didn't try to scratch their ass with fire.