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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 11:26 am
If that man sexually abused you as a child, and if he abused your younger siblings, for me it would be important to make sure he goes to prison. Who knows, he may be still abusing children. That kind of shit doesn't go away.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 11:30 am
I'm really sorry you're having to go through it all again 
But I agree, prison is there to protect innocent people from predators like him.
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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 11:37 am
Kudos to you for doing this, lkingpinl. I hope things go as well as they can.
If it makes you feel better, the little bit I've learned about you here makes me think you can do this.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 11:56 am
(September 22, 2015 at 11:14 am)lkingpinl Wrote: So they are surprisingly moving quick on this. Got a call this morning from the new investigator on the case. They reviewed the statements and case with the DA and they will be pursuing charges of first degree homicide, first degree criminal sexual conduct of a child under 13 (3 counts). All other possible felonies have exceeded the statute of limitations, but these two charges there is no statute and carries a minimum sentence of 20 years per count. I am meeting with the investigator and DA next week to give my statement. They expect 4-6 hours as they literally need to go through everything I can remember regarding abuse and the possibility of arsenic being administered in food. Plus they have my hospital records and we need to correlate each visit with an event, so i will truly have to relive all of it. Any sort of formal trial would be months off as this is still in the early stages, but they are determined to serve justice in this case as swift as possible.
He did say there will most likely not be enough for the murder charge, but the CSC's alone will keep him behind bars for the remainder of his life.
Is his brother still a cop? They might want to move fast before anything reaches him.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 11:59 am
(September 22, 2015 at 11:56 am)KevinM1 Wrote: (September 22, 2015 at 11:14 am)lkingpinl Wrote: So they are surprisingly moving quick on this. Got a call this morning from the new investigator on the case. They reviewed the statements and case with the DA and they will be pursuing charges of first degree homicide, first degree criminal sexual conduct of a child under 13 (3 counts). All other possible felonies have exceeded the statute of limitations, but these two charges there is no statute and carries a minimum sentence of 20 years per count. I am meeting with the investigator and DA next week to give my statement. They expect 4-6 hours as they literally need to go through everything I can remember regarding abuse and the possibility of arsenic being administered in food. Plus they have my hospital records and we need to correlate each visit with an event, so i will truly have to relive all of it. Any sort of formal trial would be months off as this is still in the early stages, but they are determined to serve justice in this case as swift as possible.
He did say there will most likely not be enough for the murder charge, but the CSC's alone will keep him behind bars for the remainder of his life.
Is his brother still a cop? They might want to move fast before anything reaches him.
No he retired in 2000 and died in 2004
We are not made happy by what we acquire but by what we appreciate.
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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 12:04 pm
It looks like you have decided to cooperate with the investigation, so my only advice would be that if you are concerned about reopening old wounds it may be advantageous to seek therapy while the investigation is on-going. Having someone to talk things through with helped you recover from the initial traumas, and having someone to talk to now might help you not become overwhelmed by this all coming back up.
I hope that your family gains the closure that they seek and that the justice that this man has been evading for 26 years can now be served. 
Teenaged X-Files obsession + Bermuda Triangle episode + Self-led school research project = Atheist.
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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 12:04 pm
Wow, king... what a life-story you have for your grandkids! O.o
Your family wants you to tell the court something about what happened way back... the system would like your input as well. Why fight it?
You're already reliving it, ever since you first heard about the reopening of the case, so it's not the telling the tale in court that will change much, is it?
On the other hand, one could delve into the whole "what is justice?" problem and think that this man, now in his 60's or 70's, has had his life, he's almost ready to meet his maker... he's probably not fit to harm anyone else in society... so what's the point in having some justice and putting him away? Will he learn anything from such punishment? I'd say he already has learned, judging by the look of fear that you've described was on his face, when you were 19.
Did he do that thing again? Is he a danger to society? Is he likely to repeat that behavior?
Is it justice to lock him up?
Sure, the revenge factor may feel good to your family... but is it fair, after so long has passed? After you, the person who was hurt the most, have forgiven him? Is it just?
This kind of justice, to me, sounds more like revenge... the dish best served cold... like the case.
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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 12:08 pm
(This post was last modified: September 22, 2015 at 12:12 pm by Catholic_Lady.)
(September 21, 2015 at 9:02 pm)lkingpinl Wrote: So I am currently facing a tough decision in life. I think I need to preface this with a little backstory. To save from a TL;DR I will give a cliff's notes version.
I grew up in a terribly abusive home. My mother was diagnosed with MS when I was 5 and was wheelchair bound and in and out of hospitals. After we told my mother about the abuse she moved us in with our grandparents when I was 8. Two weeks before my ninth birthday she died on our back porch in front of us all. Because MS does not move that rapidly an autopsy was done and the coroner found high levels of arsenic. I remember my step father always preparing our dinners. He worked with arsenic as part of his job. His brother was a cop. Long story short he was never convicted of any charges (not even the abuse) because I was too terrified to take the stand.
I received a call yesterday that my mothers homicide case is being reopened and they want my testimony. This was 26 years ago. My dilemma here is I have moved on. I actually faced this man later in my life and got my personal closure and my life has moved on. For my other family members they still demand justice. I don't know if I really want to rehash all of that and relive it again. It cost me years of therapy and night terrors. I don't know if I want to comply and offer it up for my family members chance at justice (not guaranteed) and at what personal expense? I know you guys don't know me aside from posts here and there but I'm I off base with not wanting to do this? I may risk my family members being very hurt. I've tried explaining my position but they think I'm being selfish. I'm not sure.
King, let me first start off by saying only you can judge what is best for you. If you think this is seriously going to rip you apart, don't do it. Your main priority right now is your wife and children, and if this is going to hinder your ability to care of them as a mentally stable husband and father, then it is not worth it. So take what I say keeping all those things in mind.
My advice? Pray for God's strength and guidance. And then take that and face your past and put this murderer/child molester/child beater behind bars where he will never be able to do this to another mother or child ever again.
God bless, my friend. PM me if you ever want to talk, and in the mean time I will pray for you.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 12:09 pm
(September 22, 2015 at 12:04 pm)pocaracas Wrote: Wow, king... what a life-story you have for your grandkids! O.o
Your family wants you to tell the court something about what happened way back... the system would like your input as well. Why fight it?
You're already reliving it, ever since you first heard about the reopening of the case, so it's not the telling the tale in court that will change much, is it?
On the other hand, one could delve into the whole "what is justice?" problem and think that this man, now in his 60's or 70's, has had his life, he's almost ready to meet his maker... he's probably not fit to harm anyone else in society... so what's the point in having some justice and putting him away? Will he learn anything from such punishment? I'd say he already has learned, judging by the look of fear that you've described was on his face, when you were 19.
Did he do that thing again? Is he a danger to society? Is he likely to repeat that behavior?
Is it justice to lock him up?
Sure, the revenge factor may feel good to your family... but is it fair, after so long has passed? After you, the person who was hurt the most, have forgiven him? Is it just?
This kind of justice, to me, sounds more like revenge... the dish best served cold... like the case.
This was precisely how I felt. It seemed like vengeance and not justice. But I reason it like this. This man broke the law and took advantage of three innocent kids. He was never served his day in court for a multitude of reasons. Justice was never given an opportunity to be served. Though yes, I personally forgave him, others who were harmed directly or indirectly by his actions have not and have not seen the justice system given an opportunity to serve its purpose. Their motives may indeed be vengeance, but it can still be classified as justice.
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RE: Facing a dilemma
September 22, 2015 at 12:19 pm
(September 22, 2015 at 11:14 am)lkingpinl Wrote: So they are surprisingly moving quick on this. Got a call this morning from the new investigator on the case. They reviewed the statements and case with the DA and they will be pursuing charges of first degree homicide, first degree criminal sexual conduct of a child under 13 (3 counts). All other possible felonies have exceeded the statute of limitations, but these two charges there is no statute and carries a minimum sentence of 20 years per count. I am meeting with the investigator and DA next week to give my statement. They expect 4-6 hours as they literally need to go through everything I can remember regarding abuse and the possibility of arsenic being administered in food. Plus they have my hospital records and we need to correlate each visit with an event, so i will truly have to relive all of it. Any sort of formal trial would be months off as this is still in the early stages, but they are determined to serve justice in this case as swift as possible.
He did say there will most likely not be enough for the murder charge, but the CSC's alone will keep him behind bars for the remainder of his life.
Remember that something like 97% of criminal cases result in plea bargains and never go to trial. If the evidence is strong enough the defense will look to settle. You won't have to testify because there will be no trial.
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