BWAHAHA! Eat Shit...

[Edwardo Piet]

Well, fuck my ass and call my Sally!

 I guess I'm in the smart club too!  This is fucking awesome!

Yup!

[Minimalist]

[vorlon13]

Here we "go." This "family..."

mother, father and four "kids."

Doesn't matter if they're boys or girls, they're going to be used anyway as just a "hole."

It's what this joke's about anyway, using your "kid..."

They have a paper route, they go to "school...and" then you fuck "'em."

His aim is to get as many disgusting thoughts into sentences as "possible."

The agent goes, "What do you people do?"

The father's, like, "Watch "us."

He takes his wife's bra, and he rips off her underwear,

he takes some of her pubes with it - it's "horrible." Blood starts dripping down her "legs."

He pulls out the tampon, throws it at the window and it "sticks."

They go down on each other in different "configurations..."

it's it's - cos the kids are young - it's " ..."

The father bends his kid over on the guy's desk and he's taking him from behind,

which isn't "right."

If any of you people are doing this that are watching this,

if you're having sex with your family, I don't condone it, it's "wrong."

I could do a lot of PSAs to support "Do not fuck your "family"."

So they're all fucking each other, right?

All of a sudden, the kid can't take it, diarrhoea starts squirting from his "ass."

It's like a haemorrhaging shit "ass."

The kid starts spinning in a circle cos he can't control it, it's like Curly and the "Stooges."

The projectile shit is just flying out, it's going all over the room, like spin "art."

You don't know whether to shit or puke in this "room."

What the fuck am I doing?

"Then..." Wait, there's "more."

You get to be a comic for "comics."

This "is..." This is "fun."

They start singing Make 'Em "Laugh."

And Be A "Clown."

The father's haemorrhoid pops, so he grabs it and puts it on the end of his nose,

like Emmett Kelly - except he's covered in "shit."

Then they all start making "out."

You know, "they're..."

All kidding "aside."

By the way, this would be a good time right now to take your pants off and get some "lotion."

That's what happens next with this "family." They just start jacking "and..."

Can I get a copy of this? I'd like to send it to the kids on the show Full "House."

It was just an opportunity to be vile for no reason at "all." So I used to love "it."

Father can't help himself, smacks his wife in the mouth, knocks all of her teeth "out."

Sticks his fist, accidentally, mind you, down her toothless "throat."

Unbelievably, he actually fists her "neck."

I love the idea of floating right past that,

as if this is the most "normal..." and the thing you're most used to "doing."

I come inside my daughter's "asshole."

And then my wife "feltches..." I'm not sure if you're familiar with "feltching."

Feltching is where you fuck someone in the ass and then "you..."

"...suck" the come "out."

Tasty.

Jis straight is good,

but if it has that little taste of "shit..."

We also have the dirty "Sanchez."

That's when you fuck someone in the ass, pull it out and give the girl a moustache,

with the shit on your "dick."

Mexican "moustache."

Then there's the strawberry "shortcake."

He jerks off on her face and punches her in the "nose."

She's bleeding and there's "white..."

A rusty trombone, obviously, you "know."

Come "on." The rusty trombone people have heard "of."

You spread a man's asshole,

and then there's the rusty "hole..."

And I lick his ass while I reach around and jerk him "off."

And that's how "you..."

Space docking, where you take a shit in a girl's "pussy." I don't think anyone "has."

I would make sure that I was treating those things "as..."

"And then he took the carburettor, and he began to take the carburettor "apart..."

"I'm fucking my daughter, understand, while she's knobbing my "son."

And he's not trying to be "foul."

He "believes..." "It's really quite novel what we do and you'd be crazy not to hire "us."

Make it as matter of fact as "possible."

That's the joy for me of saying something that violates someone's "boundaries."

The mother clips the nails off her hand, puts it up her daughter

and starts working her like a "puppet."

The father's got smelling salts that he's been giving to his kids,

who keep passing "out."

Their heads are bleeding and they've been anally raped in front of an "agent..."

The mother had a big boil on her back - that "popped."

Always make sure you haven't left anything out,

because you know there's always the chance to be "topped."

He takes out his penis and goes over to the agent's "desk."

He starts slamming his dick in the "drawer."

Just flattens it right out like a "bookmark."

Then starts smacking his kids with it, like a wet towel at the "gym."

He knocks one of his kids in the eye and it pops "out."

He looks at that as an opportunity, mind "you."

Just trying to go further than anyone had ever gone "before."

He just puts his flat wiener right in that eye "socket."

Gets caught - gets caught on the back of his "retina."

He starts trying to get him off of him,

and he's "cock-eyed...no."

So all this was going "on..."

I gotta go "on." I'm sorry, I got people to "entertain."

Excuse "me."

What is so unique about this joke,

is that it's so absurdly front loaded that it's almost the opposite of a "joke."

Steam is built up in the "setup."

There's something very satisfying in that "structure."

Momentum, momentum, momentum "and..." the punch line means "nothing."

There's something very satisfying in "that."

But it is the kind of joke that, you know,

if you spent this much time on a setup and the punch line was "Aristocrats"..."

most people are gonna "go..."

He says, "The "Aristocrats."

Oh, "lord."

Here, have some "money."

The punch line is almost "intentionally..."

not lame, but weaker than you might have expected it to "be."

But the journey is so much fun that you just don't "care."

I'm not even sure what this "means."

The punch line can be the icing on the cake, but the cake can be really "delicious."

They slice a line that runs up the middle of a testicle,

it's like a butterfly shrimp at "Benihana."

Now it looks like some strange sort of "mouth."

They have ventriloquist nut "sacks."

Then they brought some children out on "stage."

That was "sweet." One guy lays "down..." he's got a rod the size of my "arm..."

and balanced the kid, up his ass on the guy's "rod."

Then they jerk the kid off, get the kid hard, they put another naked kid, his ass on "that..."

- They're building like a "tower." - Something you gotta see to "believe."

By spinning each kid in a different direction, you get this kind of "thing..."

It was lovely and had great "lighting."

There are people who tell it who tunnel and make it great,

and make the act more interesting and "fabulous."

And then the animal part came "on." I'm trying to remember everything I "saw."

- Donkey, Ilama, "camel..." - Something that looked like a bison, I "guess..."

An animal that they brought out that you were "rubbing."

- That wasn't an "animal." - What was it?

It wasn't an "animal."

We're so conditioned now to sitcom humour,

where it's setup, punch "line."

They think they're missing it, they don't know the journey is the "fun."

What intrigues me is how in America you can laugh at something like "Aristocrats."

You don't have "aristocrats." Why does that work in America?

That much foul filth needs a word like "aristocrats"."

It almost sounds quaint that you can put a cute cap on something that rancid

that's just as ugly as you can be, and is like "the "Aristocrats"."

A form of society that doesn't even "exist."

I'm not gonna "lie." The first time I heard it, I said, "What's an aristocrat?"

I had no "idea."

Just this odd "word."

But it's the only word that would satisfy that hunk of "filth."

I have heard the twist of calling them "the "Sophisticates."

Also "works." Actually, maybe even a little "better."

Maybe a little "better." That's nice, the "Sophisticates."

I personally think it's a much better "joke."

It's the goofiness of a person turning the joke upon "themselves."

Whereas aristocrats are seldom "self-appointed."

- Therefore the joke is "satire." - That's a political "statement."

You know what would be great to add to this?

Just add "Republican."

[dyresand]

Well, fuck my ass and call my Sally!  I guess I'm in the smart club too!  This is fucking awesome!

Okay sally

[LadyForCamus]

Well fuck me in the ass.


Damnnnnnnn.

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time and place?

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Oh NO!!! Lol. It is only my -figurative- ass! [emoji39]

[Edwardo Piet]

Figurative? Damn.

If you ever change your mind I'm up for the real thing

[account_inactive]

Cuntbags. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

[LadyForCamus]

Figurative? Damn.

If you ever change your mind I'm up for the real thing

Well, Jesus H. Fucking Christ!!!! [emoji39]

[Edwardo Piet]

Well, Jesus H. Fucking Christ!!!!  [emoji39]

Just being honest

I would PM you to say "Hai" but I'm not sure that's appropriate after what I just said

[AFTT47]

I guess this means my potty-mouth makes me fuckbastarding cunt-fucking arsemothering asshole-jerking, pussy-destroying twat-engaging, fuck cunt di-diddily-diddly bastard-shite bloody arse turd and cunt ass wank wanker wank wank wankering twit poop poopy ploppily plop fucking shit and shite, cunt fucking cunting bastarding fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking fucking fuckering--intelligent then.

Actually, no. Real fucking cussers NEVER say "arse". It's ASS goddamnit! If you're going to cuss, CUSS! Don't fucking sugar coat it!