Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: joke time
January 14, 2016 at 10:44 am
Scene from the 1930s
Little Johnny goes to pick little Suzy up for a date. While she is upstairs doing her last minute make-up check, her father talks to Johnny.
Father: So where are you taking her?
Johnny: to the Dancapade.
Father: Wonderful. You know my Suzy loves to screw.
Johnny: Is that so?
Father: Oh yeah. Does it all the time. She’ll really appreciate your taking her somewhere she can screw to her heart’s content.
Johnny: I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for the heads up.
Suzy comes down and they go out.
20 minutes later Suzy comes storming home in a rage with her clothes torn.
Suzy: It’s called the Twist, dad. The Twist.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: joke time
January 14, 2016 at 11:19 am
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: joke time
January 14, 2016 at 5:07 pm
(January 14, 2016 at 11:19 am)Stimbo Wrote: It can be an easy mistake to make: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_shag
Yes, it happens to the best of us.
http://rhondadenisejohnson.com/Dance.mp3
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 46321
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
January 15, 2016 at 7:27 pm
'What have an ostrich, a penguin and the Inland Revenue got in common? They can all stick their bills up their arse.' - Billy Connolly
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: joke time
January 15, 2016 at 9:11 pm
I was discussing palindromes with my friends Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel and Ellen yesterday.
I don't even know what a fucking palindrome is.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 46321
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
January 15, 2016 at 10:22 pm
Not to kill the funny, but that's rather a disturbing avatar, mate. You ok?
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: joke time
January 15, 2016 at 10:32 pm
Who, me? I'm Cyberman. No emotions allowed.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation:
259
RE: joke time
January 18, 2016 at 7:07 pm
Quote:Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London .
Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
Quote:I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: joke time
January 20, 2016 at 1:59 pm
(January 15, 2016 at 9:11 pm)Stimbo Wrote: I was discussing palindromes with my friends Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel and Ellen yesterday.
I don't even know what a fucking palindrome is.
This man is a Genius. That's all I've got to say.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: joke time
January 20, 2016 at 2:10 pm
When the job application asked about sex, Mary checked M and F and penciled in a W for Wednesdays.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
|
