Dating as an atheist.

[Regina]

Nope. It's so rare (outside of the Muslim community maybe) to find a millennial British person who is seriously religious that it's never a topic of conversation you need to have.

I did date a Muslim guy once who was quite serious about being religious (somehow he felt he could be both Muslim and gay, bless), but he took it ok when I said I was an atheist. Actually if I remember right he barely knew what an atheist was until I elaborated.

[ignoramus]

If I had to find a religious person here in Australia, I'd probably die lonely....
Of the few remaining who aren't pensioners, they'd be cafe christians at best...

[Organic Machine]

It's not because I don't think they can't be a good person or anything like that. It's just that we would hold incredibly different worldviews. Like I said, mutual beliefs and interests are important to me. I don't relate to most people so I'd like to relate to a partner as much as possible.

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I wish I was that kind of person. I'm very introverted and don't do things where the main intention is to be social. It can be draining. I'm also not that young. I'm 34. I just don't have much experience with actual dating. I'm pretty bad at this sort of thing because my only two relationships have not been traditional. One was long distance with a year before we first met, the other happened out of nowhere and moved incredibly fast.

Right now, I have an attractive neighbor that I'm pretty sure is showing interest in me. One of the things she said in passing was that she noticed my bumper stickers, which I guess you could say are pretty indicative of my lack of belief, she said she thought I'd be a cool person. I know she's single too. We hung out last night but with someone else that she knew there. Time will tell I guess. I just don't know if I'm feeling it. I worry that she's almost too.... normal. As ridiculous as that sounds.

So ask her out for coffee or dinner. This allows y'all to chat without being involved with the other patrons.

I was shy with the gals younger myself, and I do still get butterflies asking one out, but at some point you gotta make the jump. "No" comes with the territory. If it happens, move on down the road, y'know?

Yea, I'm really shy when it comes to this. She seems to have pursued me a bit though so that's a good sign. I'm ok with no. Not worried about that. Based on what I know about her she doesn't seem to do much because she doesn't really know many people here. I just find it hard to initiate because I'm so skeptical and sort of pessimistic about it. I know my type is a needle in a haystack so it's hard for me to get past thinking what's the point.

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Does anyone find it difficult because of being an atheist? Honestly, I think I could deal with someone believing in a vague higher power that they don't try to define in anyway and that they didn't pray to or worship or anything. If someone was religious enough to claim it by denomination though, I can't do it. Mutual beliefs and interests are very important to me. Would definitely prefer an atheist.

On top of that, I'm very introverted and I don't ever want kids. And I sort of tend to fall quick and hard on the rare occasion that it happens. Just sort of want to find someone where it's just me and her the majority of the time. Someone with no real social obligations, that keeps to themselves minus whoever they are dating. Just the two of us together, being nerdy. I sort of don't ever expect to find anyone. Thought I did, but it didn't work out for other reasons. I got a best friend out of it though.

Anyone else have dating issues because of being an atheist?

No, i don't think that would be my issue. I have an indifferent attitude about dating hence i don't go out of my way to find dates. I'm also very quite and reserved. Even if a women displays interest in me they often won't get more then just a smile and a thank you. I don't really consider this an issue as i very much enjoy my aloneness but also remain open to the possibility of dating. I just often question whether now would be a good time as i'm more focused on my own personal dreams and desires at the moment.

I sort of know what you mean. The first 30 years of my life I never really seemed to have anyone interested in me. As a young adult I was overweight, never had any confidence and was painfully shy with women. In my 30's though I've lost a bunch of weight and had two relationships now so I have a bit of confidence. Not much though. I also know my type is extremely rare so I find it hard to initiate.

[Heatheness]

So ask her out for coffee or dinner. This allows y'all to chat without being involved with the other patrons.

I was shy with the gals younger myself, and I do still get butterflies asking one out, but at some point you gotta make the jump. "No" comes with the territory. If it happens, move on down the road, y'know?

Yea, I'm really shy when it comes to this. She seems to have pursued me a bit though so that's a good sign. I'm ok with no. Not worried about that. Based on what I know about her she doesn't seem to do much because she doesn't really know many people here. I just find it hard to initiate because I'm so skeptical and sort of pessimistic about it. I know my type is a needle in a haystack so it's hard for me to get past thinking what's the point.

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No, i don't think that would be my issue. I have an indifferent attitude about dating hence i don't go out of my way to find dates. I'm also very quite and reserved. Even if a women displays interest in me they often won't get more then just a smile and a thank you. I don't really consider this an issue as i very much enjoy my aloneness but also remain open to the possibility of dating. I just often question whether now would be a good time as i'm more focused on my own personal dreams and desires at the moment.

I sort of know what you mean. The first 30 years of my life I never really seemed to have anyone interested in me. As a young adult I was overweight, never had any confidence and was painfully shy with women. In my 30's though I've lost a bunch of weight and had two relationships now so I have a bit of confidence. Not much though. I also know my type is extremely rare so I find it hard to initiate.

The answer is already "no" if you don't ask. Nothing to lose.

[Organic Machine]

Yea, I'm really shy when it comes to this. She seems to have pursued me a bit though so that's a good sign. I'm ok with no. Not worried about that. Based on what I know about her she doesn't seem to do much because she doesn't really know many people here. I just find it hard to initiate because I'm so skeptical and sort of pessimistic about it. I know my type is a needle in a haystack so it's hard for me to get past thinking what's the point.

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I sort of know what you mean. The first 30 years of my life I never really seemed to have anyone interested in me. As a young adult I was overweight, never had any confidence and was painfully shy with women. In my 30's though I've lost a bunch of weight and had two relationships now so I have a bit of confidence. Not much though. I also know my type is extremely rare so I find it hard to initiate.

The answer is already "no" if you don't ask. Nothing to lose.

Very true. I just don't really have any expectations about someone being my type because I know that my type is rare. I like dating sites because a lot of my concerns are addressed by simply reading someone's profile. I sort of don't even want to bother initiating something unless I know that they don't ever want kids because I definitely don't ever want kids and I know that's a deal breaker.

[Heatheness]

The answer is already "no" if you don't ask. Nothing to lose.

Very true. I just don't really have any expectations about someone being my type because I know that my type is rare. I like dating sites because a lot of my concerns are addressed by simply reading someone's profile. I sort of don't even want to bother initiating something unless I know that they don't ever want kids because I definitely don't ever want kids and I know that's a deal breaker.

Well, I guess you could wear a t-shirt that says "Procreation Is Out!" and if she says, "no shit, dude", sweep her off her feet.

[Organic Machine]

Very true. I just don't really have any expectations about someone being my type because I know that my type is rare. I like dating sites because a lot of my concerns are addressed by simply reading someone's profile. I sort of don't even want to bother initiating something unless I know that they don't ever want kids because I definitely don't ever want kids and I know that's a deal breaker.

Well, I guess you could wear a t-shirt that says "Procreation Is Out!" and if she says, "no shit, dude", sweep her off her feet.

If only it were that easy. 

[Thumpalumpacus]

FF to 2:37 for the message, but you'll miss some cool groovin':

[Alex K]

Of the women I've dated, I can recall one whom I would call religious. Then again, this is Germany, not the funny US of A

[Cato]

Organic,

This may come across as a crass joke, but I'm being sincere. Strike up conversation in and around a library or at a concert of music you're into. Even if your potential mate isn't an introvert, someone that likes to read will respect 'personal' time. The added benefit of a library hook up is that even if she's Christian, she will likely not be of the fundy variety in that she reads other books.