Some advice on how to deal with a "interesting" brother in law

[NuclearEnergy]

Well, this last weekend I traveled to my Grandma's funeral. [R.I.P.] I went up with my brother in law, and my two sisters. One obviously being his wife. However, I noticed that all he seemed to really do was rail against my parents and how they do things. Somehow the discussion of my parents will came up. [This probably because that is what my Dad is having to deal with with the passing of his mother, and since his father is already gone] He basically talked shit about my parents complaining how they are just going to give everything to one of my brothers he thinks is "coddled" by my parents. That my be somewhat true, but this brother of mine has some learning disabilities. He also complained about how my parents spend their money and how he feels "they aren't investing their money well". 

I just sat there quietly while he and my sister [Not the one that's married to him] just talked shit and whined about this. I really wanted to simply tell him to just shut the fuck up about this. He is basically looking forward to my parents death because he is anxious as to what he's going to get. Dude, I could really give a shit about what I get when my parents die. Besides that being the point, both my parents have a good 40 years in them.

But if this ever happens again, what should I do about this? He really thinks he knows EVERYTHING. He thought he knew everything that was going on with my Dad's immediate family. When in reality he has zero clue. I usually just let him talk whenever he does his know it all shit, because it's really not worth arguing with him over it. But when it comes to trashing my parents, who I may have my disagreements with, I love dearly that's where I have to draw the line.

[Chad32]

You'd think this kind of thing would be noticed before he married their daughter, and he'd be weeded out. I guess my advice is just let your parents deal with him, since you're a third party to the issue. I'm not sure why a guy would expect to get much of anything from his in-laws. Wouldn't they just give their daughter what they believe she deserves, and he can have whatever she decides to give him?

[Thumpalumpacus]

Well, this last weekend I traveled to my Grandma's funeral. [R.I.P.] I went up with my brother in law, and my two sisters. One obviously being his wife. However, I noticed that all he seemed to really do was rail against my parents and how they do things. Somehow the discussion of my parents will came up. [This probably because that is what my Dad is having to deal with with the passing of his mother, and since his father is already gone] He basically talked shit about my parents complaining how they are just going to give everything to one of my brothers he thinks is "coddled" by my parents. That my be somewhat true, but this brother of mine has some learning disabilities. He also complained about how my parents spend their money and how he feels "they aren't investing their money well". 

I just sat there quietly while he and my sister [Not the one that's married to him] just talked shit and whined about this. I really wanted to simply tell him to just shut the fuck up about this. He is basically looking forward to my parents death because he is anxious as to what he's going to get. Dude, I could really give a shit about what I get when my parents die. Besides that being the point, both my parents have a good 40 years in them.

But if this ever happens again, what should I do about this? He really thinks he knows EVERYTHING. He thought he knew everything that was going on with my Dad's immediate family. When in reality he has zero clue. I usually just let him talk whenever he does his know it all shit, because it's really not worth arguing with him over it. But when it comes to trashing my parents, who I may have my disagreements with, I love dearly that's where I have to draw the line.

If you want to be nice and keep the peace, say nothing.

If you want to stand up for your parents, a simple "Whoa there, partner, that's my mom you're talking about" could do the trick.

If you want to shut him the fuck up, tell him his retirement plans shouldn't involve someone else dying. He may not shut up at that moment -- probably won't -- but I'd be willing to bet he never brings it up in your presence again.

[Silver]

I don't think it's wrong that he is worried how his parents are establishing themselves for when they die; after all, is it not the duty of the parents to leave some sort of monetary means for their children after the parents are dead?

[Athene]

Go for the long game.

"Nervously" voice your concerns to your parents. It may outwardly appear that they're dismissing the inferences you're making regarding sister and brother-in-laws intentions, but the seeds of mistrust will be planted. Their eyes and ears will be open.

Play your cards right, poison the well (with close attention to subtlety), and they may very well be left with little or NOTHING.

Tee hee...

[vorlon13]

Things were easier back in the 60s.

BiL would have been lured into the garage or backyard and clobbered appropriately until it appeared he was sufficiently edumacated.

Hell, it wasn't that many years ago I offered to help a friend of mine administer the baseball bat of correction to his physically abusive SiL. We wound up not doing it, but considering how things turned out, I think even the SiL would agree that intervention would have been better than serving the 6 to 12 he was eventually stuck with.

[NuclearEnergy]

Go for the long game.

"Nervously" voice your concerns to your parents. It may outwardly appear that they're dismissing the inferences you're making regarding sister and brother-in-laws intentions, but the seeds of mistrust will be planted. Their eyes and ears will be open.

Play your cards right, poison the well (with close attention to subtlety), and they may very well be left with little or NOTHING.

Tee hee...

Interesting approach. See, to me I don't really see why they are so concerned about it in the first place. I myself, could care less. In fact, it really never has crossed my mind. But obviously, my brother in law has put a lot of thought into this. And that is what I find really disturbing. Especially when both my parents still have a good 30-40 years in them.

[Athene]

---

Go for the long game.

"Nervously" voice your concerns to your parents. It may outwardly appear that they're dismissing the inferences you're making regarding sister and brother-in-laws intentions, but the seeds of mistrust will be planted. Their eyes and ears will be open.

Play your cards right, poison the well (with close attention to subtlety), and they may very well be left with little or NOTHING.

Tee hee...

---

Interesting approach. See, to me I don't really see why they are so concerned about it in the first place. I myself, could care less. In fact, it really never has crossed my mind. But obviously, my brother in law has put a lot of thought into this. And that is what I find really disturbing. Especially when both my parents still have a good 30-40 years in them.

It's....curious.
Either he doesn't have the good fucking sense to bother disguising his money-grubbing intentions, OR he's simply UNABLE to contain his greed. If that's the case, who knows how far he might go to get his hands on it?

Best to remove the temptation, altogether.

Of course, it could be that I've just watched too many episodes of Matlock, in my life. One must not rule that possibility out.

[NuclearEnergy]

Interesting approach. See, to me I don't really see why they are so concerned about it in the first place. I myself, could care less. In fact, it really never has crossed my mind. But obviously, my brother in law has put a lot of thought into this. And that is what I find really disturbing. Especially when both my parents still have a good 30-40 years in them.

It's....curious.
Either he doesn't have the good fucking sense to bother disguising his money-grubbing intentions, OR he's simply UNABLE to contain his greed. If that's the case, who knows how far he might go to get his hands on it?

Best to remove the temptation, altogether.

Of course, it could be that I've just watched too many episodes of Matlock, in my life. One must not rule that possibility out.

Mattlock was a pretty could detective show. And yes, my brother in law tends to talk a big game as well. He likes to brag about he how he has "Saved" his company millions. Or another he brags about how he can get court side seats to NBA games. But when you call him on it, he says he can't. Or another instance we went on vacation somewhere and he told me he brought his PS4 as if I gave a shit or something. I then said "Why would you bring that on a vacation?" He then said he was just joking.

[Athene]

Hmmm. Typical loudmouthed show-off? 
Or pathological liar? I'd put Ben on it...if he could manage to pull himself away!