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RE: joke time
July 20, 2017 at 6:21 am
I started thinking about sea monkeys which I had as a kid. They reminded me of little tadpoles. Then I made a connection that they also look like little sperm swimming around.
So for science I decided to rub one out in the fish tank to see if can spot them wiggling around like I remember with my sea monkeys.
I was quite content just looking at them but the chinese restaurant owner was not happy one bit!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
July 21, 2017 at 10:34 am
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
July 22, 2017 at 6:37 am
(This post was last modified: July 22, 2017 at 6:38 am by Brian37.)
I just realized military bases are the only place you cant sleep more than two weeks. THINK ABOUT IT. What is the fancy term for two weeks?
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RE: joke time
July 24, 2017 at 8:59 pm
This lady only smelled good on her right side because she couldn't find a store that sold Left Guard.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: joke time
July 26, 2017 at 9:42 pm
Remember... no matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
July 26, 2017 at 9:47 pm
(July 26, 2017 at 9:42 pm)Cyberman Wrote: Remember... no matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
We need Alex to explain the physics of that.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
July 27, 2017 at 1:59 pm
So this Jew makes an appointment at the bank to get a loan and sits down with the loan officer.
Loan officer, "So what is it you need a loan for?"
Jew, "I am starting a new restaurant"
Loan officer, " Great, what kind of food will you sell?"
Jew, " Pastrami sandwiches, Lentil soup, brisket."
Loan officer, "So you want to start a new deli?"
Jew, " Why would I move to India to start a restaurant?"
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RE: joke time
July 27, 2017 at 2:05 pm
I met a bloke today who does a drag act in Greater Manchester. He has a Wigan address.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
August 5, 2017 at 2:01 pm
Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller. "When am I going to die?" he asks.
The fortune teller replies: "You will die on a major Mexican holiday."
"Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "Any day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
