Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 1:36 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
joke time
RE: joke time
I started thinking about sea monkeys which I had as a kid. They reminded me of little tadpoles. Then I made a connection that they also look like little sperm swimming around.
So for science I decided to rub one out in the fish tank to see if can spot them wiggling around like I remember with my sea monkeys.

I was quite content just looking at them but the chinese restaurant owner was not happy one bit!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
RE: joke time
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
I just realized military bases are the only place you cant sleep more than two weeks. THINK ABOUT IT. What is the fancy term for two weeks?
Reply
RE: joke time
This lady only smelled good on her right side because she couldn't find a store that sold Left Guard.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply
RE: joke time
(July 24, 2017 at 8:59 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: This lady only smelled good on her right side because she couldn't find a store that sold Left Guard.

That means half of an offensive line of any NFL team at the end of the game doesn't smell like a landfill.
Reply
RE: joke time
Remember... no matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
(July 26, 2017 at 9:42 pm)Cyberman Wrote: Remember... no matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

We need Alex to explain the physics of that.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
So this Jew makes an appointment at the bank to get a loan and sits down with the loan officer.

Loan officer, "So what is it you need a loan for?"

Jew, "I am starting a new restaurant"

Loan officer, " Great, what kind of food will you sell?"

Jew, " Pastrami sandwiches, Lentil soup, brisket."

Loan officer, "So you want to start a new deli?"

Jew, " Why would I move to India to start a restaurant?"
Reply
RE: joke time
I met a bloke today who does a drag act in Greater Manchester. He has a Wigan address.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller. "When am I going to die?" he asks.

The fortune teller replies: "You will die on a major Mexican holiday."

"Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"

The fortune teller replies: "Any day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18802 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 127 Guest(s)