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Current time: December 15, 2024, 3:46 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
Life...

Yeah, I seem to remember one of those...
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
Isn't that just the waiting bay for the afterlife?
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
A man goes into a hotel to book a room.

Once all the details have been settled he says, "I would like the porn in my room to be disabled."

The girl booking his room looks at him in shock and replies, "We only have regular porn, you sick bastard!"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
nice one Beccs! hehe ...(and also, you can't eat the vegetables!)

(As a medical person, please tell me what you think of the quantum consciousness post. I'd also like to hear Alex's angle)
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
RE: joke time
I was a terrible father to my kids, but not anymore.

I killed them.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
Kids are like mobile phones.

If you've lost one, and haven't found it within a few days, it's probably dead.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
Bloke goes to the doctor with a golf ball stuck up his arse.

The doctor examines him and says "Dear me, that's up a fairway, isn't it?"
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack using a small Beretta Pistol

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What’s the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself?
Here’s her story in her own words: “While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in The Villages with my soon to be ex-husband, discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
If I had not had my little Beretta .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today!” “Just one shot to my estranged husband’s knee cap was all it took. The ‘gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.
It’s one of the best pistols in my collection, plus the amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible. His life insurance was a big bonus.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
(August 13, 2017 at 4:41 pm)Cyberman Wrote: Kids are like mobile phones.

If you've lost one, and haven't found it within a few days, it's probably dead.

That is just sooooooooo WRONG....LOL
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RE: joke time
Isn't it! Big Grin
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply



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