|
joke time
|
 (August 13, 2017 at 6:17 pm)Brian37 Wrote:(August 13, 2017 at 4:41 pm)Cyberman Wrote: Kids are like mobile phones. Seems like practical advice to me. 
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
We were so poor growing up, we had to have ordinary K for breakfast.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
One guy I know told me that he was so poor that for entertainment at his house, they had to pull up the rug to watch the floor show. I said, "You had a RUG?!".
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
I was so poor growing up, I used to go to KFC and lick other people's fingers!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.  
A young man wakes up and his mother asks him what he wants for breakfast. He says "I want some fucking French Toast!"
His mother says: "What did you say?!" "I want some fucking French Toast!" His mother begins beating him with kitchen utensils. His father steps in and beats him into submission with his belt. The younger brother awakes and walks into this scene. The Mother says: "And what do you want for breakfast? The second son responds:" I sure don't want no fucking French Toast!"
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
Two women, good friends, are watching a romantic movie one night.
Suddenly, one leans close and kisses the other's neck. Shocked, the friend leans back and says, "Ashley, you know I'm straight!" Ashley leans close and whispers, "So is spaghetti, until it gets wet!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
Good punchline.
Perhaps you could evolve the story a little, say, 10 paragraphs?
Had a woman pay me a compliment today. Have to say it made a nice change from the usual topics of conversation.
Like "Get away from me you creep!" Or "I'm calling the police!" Or "How the fuck did you get in my wardrobe?"
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
 (August 15, 2017 at 10:03 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Two women, good friends, are watching a romantic movie one night. I've seen porn with worse plot and dialogue.
"If we go down, we go down together!"
- Your mum, last night, suggesting 69. ![[Image: 41bebac06973488da2b0740b6ac37538.jpg]](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/41/be/ba/41bebac06973488da2b0740b6ac37538.jpg) -
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
| Possibly Related Threads... | |||||
| Thread | Author | Replies | Views | Last Post | |
| No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! | Jehanne | 10 | 2750 |
April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm Last Post: arewethereyet |
|
| A sacred joke. | Mystic | 15 | 3310 |
January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm Last Post: Cyberman |
|
| Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke | Brian37 | 1 | 1607 |
May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm Last Post: vorlon13 |
|
| There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! | Minimalist | 3 | 2539 |
October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm Last Post: Zidneya |
|
| Joke | Minimalist | 59 | 18803 |
June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am Last Post: Ravenshire |
|
| A little joke | Sup | 11 | 4743 |
April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4 |
|
| Evolution (is a) joke | JesusLover1 | 12 | 9434 |
March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm Last Post: Minimalist |
|
| Preacher joke 02 | Drich | 2 | 1993 |
February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am Last Post: NoraBrimstone |
|
| Preacher joke 01 | Drich | 8 | 4845 |
January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am Last Post: Drich |
|
| Make Up An Atheist Joke | freedomfromforum | 5 | 3050 |
October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am Last Post: Angrboda |
|
