Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: joke time
August 22, 2017 at 6:19 pm
(August 22, 2017 at 4:39 pm)pocaracas Wrote: I guess... being a Portuguese, Madeira becomes difficult to read in such a messed up English accent that would make it sound like "my dearer"...
I read it as ma.... dei....ra!
I call to the stand my first witnesses, Messrs Flanders and Swann:
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: joke time
August 22, 2017 at 8:05 pm
I like how music can take you to another place. For instance, I was in the pub earlier and a Justin Bieber song came on. So I went to a different pub.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: joke time
August 22, 2017 at 8:54 pm
Yep. Chamber music is my favourite.
I wake up so refreshed!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 46311
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
August 23, 2017 at 10:51 am
(This post was last modified: August 23, 2017 at 10:51 am by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
Woman calls the local dairy and asks if they could deliver 25 gallons of milk, because, as part of her beauty regimen, she wants to take a milk bath.
'Happy to oblige, Miss,' says the dairyman. 'Would you like that milk pasteurized?'
'Oh, I don't think so,' she answers. 'Just up to my tits should be enough.'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
August 23, 2017 at 11:38 am
Rise up
Gather around
Knock that narcissist
Too the ground
Burn him up
Go for broke
Watch that orange asshat
Go up is smoke
WHAT DO WE WANT
I want the fucker to go!
WHAT DO WE WANT
I want that fucker to go!
Posts: 9912
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation:
79
RE: joke time
August 23, 2017 at 12:07 pm
"Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
August 24, 2017 at 7:55 am
The KKK Took The GOP Away, (for extra credit name the real band and song).
He said he was going golfing today,
Said he was going to make everything ok,
But he never got there
No bans or wall are here
Hatred in spades, they say
The KKK took the GOP away
They took them away
Away from Lincoln today
The KKK took the GOP away
They took them away
From all sanity
Now I don't know
Where my country can be
Keeping statues up
Glorifying a horrible history
I don't know where my country can be
Glorifying a horrible history
Keeping up statues of General Lee
The KKK took the GOP away
They took them away
They took them away
From all sanity.
HEY HO, LETS GO! <-----Ok not related........Oh, FYI I did get to meet this band long ago.
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
August 24, 2017 at 4:32 pm
What did one Neanderthal say to the other?
I don't know, gonna need 45 to translate.
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
August 24, 2017 at 4:37 pm
What's black and brown and would look good on a Trump supporter?
An angry Rottweiler.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
