joke time

[Darinda]

[Little lunch]

Frankie Boyle on the most Scottish thing he's ever seen.

I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o'clock at night.
And there was a guy leaning and pissing against a front door.
He then took out his keys and went inside.

---

Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation.
The rest just didn't really think it was a problem.

---

My grandma said to me, 'young men of today just aren't as polite and charming as they were when I was young'.
I had to explain to her, 'that's because they aren't trying to fuck you now'.

[Brian37]

Bill O'Reilly, "Lawsuits come in, payments go out. You can't explain that."

[Darinda]

Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused.

His mother was Jewish and his father was black.

So Johnny asks, Mommy, am I more Jewish or more black ?"

"What does it really matter ? his mother tells him,
If you want to know for sure you'll just have
to ask your father,"

So, when his father arrived home from work, Little Johnny asks
the same question, "Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black ?"

"What the hell kind of a question is that ? Why do you want to
know if you're more Jewish or more black ?" asks his dad.

"Well, it's like this dad... Tommy down the street wants to sell
his bicycle for $50, and I don't know whether to Jew him down
to $25, or wait until it's dark and just steal the fuckin' thing."

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused.

His mother was Jewish and his father was black.

So Johnny asks, Mommy, am I more Jewish or more black ?"

"What does it really matter ? his mother tells him,
If you want to know for sure you'll just have
to ask your father,"

So, when his father arrived home from work, Little Johnny asks
the same question, "Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black ?"

"What the hell kind of a question is that ? Why do you want to
know if you're more Jewish or more black ?" asks his dad.

"Well, it's like this dad... Tommy down the street wants to sell
his bicycle for $50, and I don't know whether to Jew him down
to $25, or wait until it's dark and just steal the fuckin' thing."

That was lovely.  Are there any other groups you'd like to stereotype for us?  I hear that the Irish are all drunks, Scots are cheap and the Chinese have tiny penises, if any of that helps.


Twat.


Boru

[ignoramus]

A drunk Irishman, a cheap Scotsman and a Chinese female Olympic swimmer walk into a bar.....

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

A drunk Irishman, a cheap Scotsman and a Chinese female Olympic swimmer walk into a bar.....

It troubles me that you don't see the problem.


Boru

[chimp3]

A drunk Irishman, a cheap Scotsman and a Chinese female Olympic swimmer walk into a bar.....

All three are wearing skirts...

[ignoramus]

Obviously.

[Fireball]

Paddy goes home from work with the flu.
Comes back in 3 days with a big smile on his face.
Mick says to Paddy,“why are you so happy, you were very sick?”.
Paddy says,” Well, I found out my wife really loves me!”
Mick says, “Why’s that?"
Paddy replies,“Well, every time the milkman or the mailman came around she would enthusiastically rush to the door & shout "My husbands home, my husbands home!”