My brother's getting a divorce

[Mr.Obvious]

Hey,

My older brother told me he was getting a divorce yesterday. I didn't see it coming. He's usually a quiet man, not talkative, and he wasn't yesterday either. Though it was clear he was distraught and broken up about it. They've been married for about 4 years, but were together for 13 or so, I think.
I didn't know what to say or do. I feel horrible that he is going through this. And I want to show him he's not alone in this. I hugged him, which is something we don't often do. We are both a bit reserved on that front. But I just... I don't want him to be going through this. He's this kind and quiet guy that really doesn't deserve anything bad to happen to him. And I'm just powerless to do anything. I'm going to try and be there for him. Spend more time with him... But I don't know what I can do. I feel helpless in his stead.
Anybody got any sage advice? Do I try to get him to talk about it? Do I try to get him not to talk about it and get his mind of things? Should we go out to a pub so we can converse or rather do an activity so we can get him to focus on something else... I don't know where to start.

Also, I wrote this poem about it. But no, I'm not going to show him that. It'd be awkward.

The Undertow
Your tranquil waters offer no more solace,
as I can’t help but ponder and wonder
at this river of blood beneath the callus
of where your heart was ripped asunder.
I can’t fathom the leagues it must stretch
and clad in darkness the fathoms below.
Here I stand on the silver shore’s edge;
captivated by the pull of your undertow.

You and I were carved from selfsame flesh
so I feel  your muscles and know your bones.
My body calls out to yours begging to thresh
for I’m sure you can swim coated in stones.
That kicking and thrashing I know you can.
Struggle, I no longer wish to see you tranquil.
Swim, you wonderful bastard, you fine man.
Don’t you dare let those waters turn still.

[energizer bunny]

No sagely advice. Your post felt very sincere. Like it was from the heart. Hope he bounces back stronger and wiser.

[Seraphina]

The only advice I have is just be present for your brother and check in every so often on how he's doing. Take him out to do activities and he might be willing to talk about how he's doing when he's more relaxed as opposed to just sitting him down and asking him to tell you what's happening.
You sound like a caring person, just let him know that you're there and I think that will go a long way to helping your brother get through his divorce.

-Teresa

[Minimalist]

Let him come to you when he's ready.  Just be there when he does.

[Mr.Obvious]

Thank you. I'm taking him out to play pool saturday and we've decided to go watch the Star Wars movie when it comes out, with our sister.
I'm not going to broach the subject until he indicates he's ready.

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

Damn. No advice but.. It's probably for the best..what's done is done no point in crying over spilt milk.. Be there for him,he'll probably want that support. Poor guy :/

[J a c k]

It will be a very tough time for him. It’s like mourning death. I was there for my brother when he divorced his wife, and he was there for me when I went through the same thing. Everyone is different, needs different amounts of time to heal, hurts differently, and shows it differently. As long as he knows you’re there and won’t rush his process.  

[Brian37]

Been through it myself. Yes, it is a kick in the gut to have the one you love tell you they don't love you the same way anymore. I think what helped me, was all the prior relationships before my marriage. I went into it not with a "forever" utopia attitude, but "lets enjoy it day by day."

Truth is that even with friends, things change over time. It does not have to be bitter, or a battle. I still PM my X on FB and I am happy for her, she's done really well for herself. I think far too many humans get sold the utopia that it has to last forever or else you've failed as a human being. No, it just means things change.

My X even during the process, was so worried about my mental health, she and her friends actually helped me move from the apartment we shared to the new one I lived in during our divorce process.

It hurts, but it is part of life.

[Shell B]

Yeah, you've got it right. Just do stuff with him to take his mind off it until he decides to open up about it, if he does. Nothing soothes like distraction.

[Brian37]

Yeah, you've got it right. Just do stuff with him to take his mind off it until he decides to open up about it, if he does. Nothing soothes like distraction.

It isn't even cold to say that with death of a loved one. 

I will never get over my mom's death. But if it were not for the constant talks with friends and family I would have killed myself.

Tibs was there for me that day. He wasn't my first call, but he was available. I cant begin to thank him for being my ear, like John "Rubber Ducky" and many others. 

It sucks when things go wrong, but it always helps to have support when they do.

But if I could talk to him myself. Oh my THOR, if I had a nickle for every time I got rejected I'd make 45 like like a street wino. Good thing for me now is that I am old, been through it, and now to the point of simply wanting to be myself.