Divorce Drama

[Won2blv]

My wife and I separated a few months back. I asked her to stay in the home and work together peacefully. This is because we had a newborn child that I wanted to assist in helping her sleep and change her diapers, etc. And of course, I wanted to be with my baby. My wife though just kept causing conflict day after day. Then one day, I went golfing for 2 hours and when I came back she said that she was leaving and taking my child to live with her dad. Its been nothing but her causing conflict since.


This is my question if anyone has knowledge of these types of situations... Can she just move back in while I'm out of town and change the locks?

I got a call from Amex telling me that there was some fishy activity on my account. Namely, a $541.00 charge to "giftly" and an $85 charge to a lock smith. I called the lock smith and he told me that he personally made the house call to change some cylinders. He said that the signature was just a scribble. So I'm pretty sure my ex was the one that made the charges.

I'm not concerned about the fraudulent charges because Amex is the best when it comes to customer service, but I'm very concerned about my wife just deciding on a whim to move back and decide that I am not allowed there anymore. She hasn't lived there for a few months and never informed me that she wanted to move back. But she did text me and tell me that I'm being kicked out by her. I asked her what gave her the right, and she said it was because she is a mother.

Does anyone else think this is fucked up? When I go back home, do you suggest any specific actions I should take to protect myself? Do we really live in a country where someone can be kicked out of their home just because someone with malicious motive wants to act on it? Thanks

[brewer]

In my limited experience, the short answer is yes.

You may want to secure any personal valuables/papers off site before leaving town. Don't take joint property or her personal stuff, that will bite you in the ass. 

If you get home and are locked out, first call the police, have them show up and get it on record. You may or may not get in. Next, call an attorney.

[Jackalope]

This, but I'd get an attorney first.

[The Grand Nudger]

Haha, you're screwed.  GL with that though.........you'll come out on the other end with valuable life experience. 

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[chimp3]

I have been married and divorced twice. Most recent divorce finalized in July. My youngest "child"  21 years old.  I think my choice to divorce each time was a good thing. I also try to be self critical and accept my own responsibility for causing strife. 

Nothing personal, but a woman working overtime caring for a newborn might feel resentful of her beau golfing while she has not had a break in weeks. Is this a problem that you have contributed to? Do you give your beau the same time to relax and have time of her own?

[vorlon13]

Get representation immediately.

[KevinM1]

So, wait... she already moved to her dad's? Or are you still living together?

If it's the former, why haven't you changed the locks yet? I mean, she can only "move back in" if she has access, right? Deny her that access.

Also, you should've lawyered up the moment you decided to go through with a divorce. While trying to be a nice guy is noble, you will fuck yourself over if you don't have quality legal assistance, especially if child custody is involved. Getting a lawyer doesn't mean escalating the conflict, but rather ensuring your rights aren't trampled on. This is divorce 101.

[ignoramus]

Be prepared to lose a lot of wages for the next 16 years! My nephew screwed a pretty woman, had a baby and now she's screwing him back big time!

[vorlon13]

Best one I've heard of was SE of Council Bluffs.

Wife wanted a divorce, and filed on husband. She demanded everything and her reasoning was she was entitled to half of the marital assets, AFTER she paid her legal fees. And she figured the fees would be in the 33-40% range, so to be sure, just best to start at 100% and work from there.

As it turned out, she wasn't all that bright and/or paying attention. Turned out all 'their' farm land (less 80 acres) was actually owned by husband's mom and since granny was going to still be alive at the conclusion of their marriage, the land couldn't be touched. Even their house was part of her estate.

When the dust settled she had to accept 1/2 the money in the bank, all the furniture she wanted, her 'stuff', her car, and the 80 acres they owned together.

It was a tiny fraction of 'everything'.

And then when granny passed, there was another surprise. Hubby didn't get the farm either. It was divvied up amongst the grandkids, and the husband was granted a permanent lease to farm it and keep 1/2 the income.

Turned out granny didn't think much of either of 'em.

[Mr.Obvious]

I'm sorry to hear about your problems.
Like suggested by others: legal representation might be the most wise thing. Goes for both you and your ex.