joke time

[purplepurpose]

People are arguing for the right to die permanently.

[Darinda]

Lawrence , Kansas, December 12, 2008: (true story)
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but the dog moaned and the phone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
 
1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
 5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
 
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
 
Thought you'd like to know!

[Haipule]

People are arguing for the right to die permanently.

Suicide?! That's the LAST thing I would do!

[The Valkyrie]

Lawrence , Kansas, December 12, 2008: (true story)
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but the dog moaned and the phone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
 
1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
 5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
 
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
 
Thought you'd like to know!

I HAVE to try this with Hammy!

[Edwardo Piet]

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.

You stole that from Rik Mayall!

And, more correctly it's "Why did the perfect cross the road? Because he couldn't get his nob out of the chicken!"

Here's another: "What does a man with a two foot cock have for breakfast? Well this morning I had a boiled egg."

---

Lawrence , Kansas, December 12, 2008: (true story)
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but the dog moaned and the phone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
 
1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
 5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
 
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
 
Thought you'd like to know!

I HAVE to try this with Hammy!

But what if I enjoy it a little too much? Especially with the pissing and moaning!

[Haipule]

You stole that from Rik Mayall!

Dude! I love Rik! Especially season 2, episode 1 of the Young Ones--"Bambi". Rick: "(snotty voice)How many times have you tried it!" Neil: "Vyvyan's socks are hasslin' me!" Rick: "Who likes me...raise your hands!" Bambi: "Who is the world most stupidest bottom-burp?" Answers Vyvyan: "Rick". Vyvyan: "This calls for extreme violence!" Did you notice that the third contestant from Footlights college is none other then the actor who played House in the TV series "House"? Then there's Drop Dead Fred. A chick movie but, hilarious!

[Edwardo Piet]

You stole that from Rik Mayall!

Huh. No I didn't I quoted Rik Mayall. SHE stole it

[Haipule]

You stole that from Rik Mayall!  I was quoting you

Dude! I love Rik! Especially season 2, episode 1 of the Young Ones--"Bambi". Rick: "(snotty voice)How many times have you tried it!" Neil: "Vyvyan's socks are hasslin' me!" Rick: "Who likes me?...raise your hands!" Bambi: "Who is the world most stupidest bottom-burp?" Answers Vyvyan: "Rick". Vyvyan: "This calls for extreme violence!" Did you notice that the third contestant from Footlights college is none other then the actor who played House in the TV series "House"? Then there's Drop Dead Fred. A chick movie but, hilarious!

And the Scumbags College mascot pig that Vyvyan said to Bambi was a ferret named "Bacon Sandwich'!

[Haipule]

Hammy:

A couple of years before "The Young Ones" I lived in Australia. My favorite TV show then was The Paul Hogan Show. That was YEARS before his Crocodile Dundee movie.

Do you remember Ed and Nuke, Leo Wanker and Superdag? Shit! That was hilarious! (Americans: "dag" means someone who always has a beer in his hands)

Question: Even though I am American, I do have the superdag death ray armpits. A weapon so powerful, I promised to use it only for the cause of good! 

However, it is impervious to cats whom follow me around like I'm catnip! My wife suggests a shower. But, then I am impervious to women! What do I do Aussie Man?

[Edwardo Piet]

Haha, no I haven't seen that. The Young Ones were actually before my time but I'm a big fan and I've seen them all because my parents were big fans.

The Young Ones were early 80s, of course, and I was born in 88. But I grew up with Bottom though. I saw that as a kid (lol no wonder I'm so fucked up right? )! Lol. And then my parents introduced me to The Young Ones.