Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist

[Joods]

I also believe that thats where any -charges- end..but we don;t always see it necessarry to keep an eye on a creepy fucker just because a prosecutor didn;t choose it as one of the 7 ut of a thousand..using earlier linked numbers.

I didn't see the numbers but honestly - does anyone know if Aziz has a record? Has past complaints? Is this the first time this has ever happened? If this is the first time he's been accused of anything, and the police and prosecutor feel that it's not worth moving forward, then is it really fair to brand this guy in a certain way just because there are no charges?

[The Grand Nudger]

I don;t think anyone's branding him a certain way because there were no charges...I think people are branding him a certain way on the basis of this story and their level of acceptence in a person coming forward with a story of sexual assault..even one as bizarre as this.  

"What about poor aziz", doesn't register for me. I think "poor aziz" is going to be fine..odds are he would be fine even if he were a rapist.....we don't have the best record on this.

I do think..though, that if another identical story comes out..and even if it gets no closer to an actionable sex crime than this one in someones very generous mind........I'd be willing to throw a marble at his head on the street. One of the little ones, obviously, I;m not a fucking savage.

[Catholic_Lady]

Thena, Joods isn't blaming Grace. Joods is saying that according to the account, Grace was not forced to do anything, and could have either left and/or said NO at any time.

Joods is saying that Grace can't call sexual assault on a situation where she was not being forced and was free to leave or say no at any time.

This isn't victim blaiming. This is distinguishing the difference between an uncomfortable situation with a douchy guy, and a crime of sexual assault.

[The Grand Nudger]

Clarity, I tend to treat allegations of sexual assault credibly..and it may be because I;ve been deeply conditioned to do so and this leads to mistakes..but, in this story, I;m actually not having any trouble seeing a way for her story to be true..and for him to legitimately believe she was into it...not because she wasn't loud enough or hand;led it the wrong way....but because a creeper like that, in my experience..really does think that the ladies are totally into it more often than not.

She says she did say no, more than once....and she says she kept batting is hand away, and she described their tussle a a half hour football play with him not letting her make space....and she described a break in the action where he seemed to get it..and then how he started it right back up again, even playing coy with her earlier objections.... and she describes a moment where she is prevented from -completing- an objection by having his tongue forcibly put down her throat..a gross kiss..alot of them..and the claw (godamn it, the claw).

and then, then, she finally left. It sounds like a horror show..not a bad date....and it does sound like a sex crime...she (or th author) has to be fibbing about something to change that.

[Joods]

Thena, Joods isn't blaming Grace. Joods is saying that according to the account, Grace was not forced to do anything, and could have either left and/or said NO at any time.

Joods is saying that Grace can't call sexual assault on a situation where she was not being forced and was free to leave or say no at any time.

This isn't victim blaiming. This is distinguishing the difference between an uncomfortable situation with a douchy guy, and a crime of sexual assault.

A thousand times this. Thank you CL for putting it into words like this.

[Edwardo Piet]

Yeah, people who are autistic wear signs declaring their disorder.

Only after they've been diagnosed

[Athene]

As far as New York State in concerned, Forcible Touching and Sexual Abuse in the Third Degree would appear to be quite applicable to this matter.
If you "don't see it."..then you just don't see it, I guess.

I don't know what to tell you, chick. Tis unfortunate.

Except you twisted it to mean what you wanted it to. You conveniently left out the words "except that in any prosecution under this section, it is an affirmative defense that (a) such other person's lack of consent was due solely to incapacity to consent by reason of being less than seventeen years old, and (b) such other person was more than fourteen years old, and © the defendant was less than five years older than such other person."

You are leaving out the age part of that section. 

First of all, I most certainly did not leave that out.
Secondly, and most imprtantly:

OH MY GOD...Do you really not understand what that means in regards to that particular statute?

It is an exception.
That means when when it occurs to someone who underage, a different statute applies...one with a more severe penalty.

Next time read thoroughly, okay? 

You keep failing to realize that as soon as she expressed the fact that she no longer wanted to do things, he stopped. And not at any time was she being held there. She. Was. Free. To. Go. At. Any. Time. She was happy with whatever he was doing until she decided that she wasn't happy with it and he stopped.

No, Joods. He didn't stop grabbing her, pushing, pestering, and haranguing her. 
That's the whole fucking point.

I find it sad that you don't want to acknowledge that convenient fact, but you want to accuse me, a victim of SA, of victim blaming. If you don't see that, chick, I guess you don't. And yes, it is quite sad when you try to use someone else's history against them in this way.

Keep in mind that your past is many people's past, Joods. I was simply suggesting that you tap into your empathy, and do better for those who are viewing and taking your words to heart
Sorry if you think I was out to hurt you, because I wasn't.

[Edwardo Piet]

But you should none the less stop . I can't say it more then that . While it's true autistics are not always diagnosed. By the time your sexual active your social awkwardness something you are likely more then aware of .

Being aware that you struggle to pick up on social cues doesn't make you any better at picking up on social cues . . .

You make it sound like once you know you're autistic you're no longer autistic.

---

The guy here should have been paying more attention, in my opinion. He should have had more simple consideration for her feelings. The fact that he didn't have that consideration makes him a douchebag creep in my book.

From what I've read it seems he was more clueless than inattentive.

[The Grand Nudger]

He was paying enough attention to mock her objections..allegedly. That's why I don't completely buy his "nope, thought it was totes cool" response.

[Edwardo Piet]

She let the guy take her clothes off shortly after getting back to his apartment. What did that non-verbally communicate?

Did she consent?

When she willingly gave the guy a blow job she did. When she told him she was uncomfortable afterwards she didn't. But that was when he backed down anyways. From what I can tell.