My mom is dying, going to need an ear.

[Catholic_Lady]

That's great brian. How did you meet Bob? Have you been to Australia before? I'm sure your mom would have been very pleased that you're going.

[Brian37]

December 25th, By Brian37 (AKA Brian37  on FB and @Brianrrs37 on twitter)

It is not
The fantastic claims
Certainly not
The comercialism

I could do 
Without the magic birth cliams
To me it is
Just another day

But even this atheist
Feels the pain
Another day
Without her voice

I would not partake
For myself
But my mom enjoyed it
It made her smile

After Halloween
She'd insist from me
To put up in her apartment
The tiny table top tree

The reindeer parcel holder
Her friends would send cards
Santa magnets on windows
And her fridge at large

It's been long since
I gave up on that
The comercialism
And mythology stuff

But even with that
Being an atheist
Now that she's gone
I wont get back

The time I had
On any given day
Tomorrow still means something
In that respect

To see the smile
On her face
Bringing her a bag of gifts
With colorful wrap

No it was not
My thing at all
The time I spent 
I valued above all

This another first
Of many unwanted firsts
I'll tolerate Christmas
To spend time with her


No no, 
It's not the day
She long since understood
It was not my thing

But what always was
Was my time with her
Tomorrow I'll be at home
With no one to visit


Holidays 
I can take or leave it
But what cant be replaced
Is whom you spend with

[Silver]

I have not been following the thread. Not sure if your mom is dead yet or still dying. I am not being insensitive, this is just how I approach everything. I, unfortunately, do not have much of a bedside manner. The death of others, even my own family, does not affect me in any way, yet I suppose I can somewhat understand how it concerns others.

[Brian37]

I have not been following the thread.  Not sure if your mom is dead yet or still dying.  I am not being insensitive, this is just how I approach everything.  I, unfortunately, do not have much of a bedside manner.  The death of others, even my own family, does not affect me in any way, yet I suppose I can somewhat understand how it concerns others.

She died March 1rst 2017. 

I cant tell you how to cope, but I can say, you can get to the point of numbness or indifference not because you lack emotions, but because you would go nuts if you dwell on it.

I don't see anything magic in her death, or that of any cosmic sky wizard nor a punishment to me. I accept it is a reality. In that context you cant do anything about that reality. But yea, I feel the loss. I want her back. I know that wont happen, but I do want her back. 

I would think unless you are a psychopath you have at least some family or friends or co workers that if where suddenly not there it would give you pause. 

Isn't there someone in your life even if they did not die, that said "I have to move" whom you wish didn't have to because you got along so well with them?

I feel a huge loss, not because of magic or gods. I feel a huge loss with my mom, because even with our differences, she always had my back, and she grew to accept me the way I was. The bittersweet aspect was all the simple silly jokes and games we made up in recent years. I would give anything to have another day with her.

[Silver]

I would think unless you are a psychopath you have at least some family or friends or co workers that if where suddenly not there it would give you pause. 

Isn't there someone in your life even if they did not die, that said "I have to move" whom you wish didn't have to because you got along so well with them?

I feel a huge loss, not because of magic or gods. I feel a huge loss with my mom, because even with our differences, she always had my back, and she grew to accept me the way I was. The bittersweet aspect was all the simple silly jokes and games we made up in recent years. I would give anything to have another day with her.

It is understandable that her loss has affected you.

As for me, probably only my boyfriend. To be honest, though, I have cried at the loss of pets but never family members. My grandmother died, and nothing. My stepmother died, and nothing. I am certain I will feel nothing when my sister dies. When my pet bird died, however, I cried like crazy.

[Brian37]

I would think unless you are a psychopath you have at least some family or friends or co workers that if where suddenly not there it would give you pause. 

Isn't there someone in your life even if they did not die, that said "I have to move" whom you wish didn't have to because you got along so well with them?

I feel a huge loss, not because of magic or gods. I feel a huge loss with my mom, because even with our differences, she always had my back, and she grew to accept me the way I was. The bittersweet aspect was all the simple silly jokes and games we made up in recent years. I would give anything to have another day with her.

It is understandable that her loss has affected you.

As for me, probably only my boyfriend.  To be honest, though, I have cried at the loss of pets but never family members.  My grandmother died, and nothing.  My stepmother died, and nothing.  I am certain I will feel nothing when my sister dies.  When my pet bird died, however, I cried like crazy.

I wouldn't make this about humans vs pets, or pets vs humans. It is ultimately about the affinity you have to other life. I can be either a pet, or a boyfriend or a co worker. What you feel is what you are used to and what you value. Your boyfriend to you is to me like my mother. Nobody is telling you to feel emotions you don't have. But you do have them.

My mom gave me value and not having that around is where empathy and pain come from. The same can be said for boyfriends, girlfriends, and even pets. There is no script to love.

[Brian37]

Sunny Side Under, By Brian37  (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)


I dreamed us four
For years and years
To sit together
To laugh till tears

You talked to them
On Skype
Had Bob's picture magnet
On your fridge

You loved his wit
But hated his beard
Loved his humor
And how he sided with you

Just like on Skype
You'd both tease me
Making me feel
I was back in High School


And John too
I so pictured
My Oklahoma friend
Sitting next to you

All four of us
Eating breakfast
The smell of bacon
Pancakes and coffee 

I'd stack the marmalade 
I know you love
Bob would laugh
When you tell me to put it back

I'd move the shakers
Knowing you hate
Anything on the table
Out of place

I could see Bob
Siding with you
Telling me to put it back
In the right place

John would talk country
The music he loves
And how he knows
Of it I'm not fond

You'd all make me squirm
And it would be fun
But we never met
All at once

Now I am off
To Brisbane soon
And unfortunately Bob
Is in a nursing home

You never liked
A beard or stubble
I always bugged you
Why Bob's didn't bother you

But now he is clean shaven
The nursing home had to
And I am going to Bribsbane
Alone without you

[Brian37]

I just ran into a twitter acquaintance I met years ago.

A little backstory, even long before I met this person on twitter.

My mom growing up always tried to teach me lofty words for everything. Ottoman=stool, Calamari=octopus, caviar=fish eggs, ECT ECT ECT. No, she wasn't trying to sell herself as a billionaires wife, but she really wanted better for me. She bought me argyle sweaters and socks and jackets with the elbow patches on the sleeves as a kid. Never understood the appeal.

Anywho, fast forward to a few years ago. I had learned long ago what an "atoll" was. Simply a fancy term for a string of coral reefs or islands. 

So a few years ago I meet a person on twitter who called themselves "BikiniAtroll" instead of the real island chain "Bikini Atoll". 

I laughed so hard when I saw this, but immediately called my mother telling her of my find, and she laughed.

[Brian37]

Callous Cosmos, Brian37 (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB and @brianrrs37 on twitter)

11 months out,
I can scream
I can shout
Callous cosmos, YOU TOOK HER

But it does not matter
Our species chatter
Our clawing in vein 
Callous cosmos, YOU TOOK HER

Witness too
My last moments with you
Watching your lips twitch
Callous cosmos, YOU TOOK HER

But I know
What you would want for me
To continue on, to be happy
Callous cosmos, YOU WON'T WIN

I'll still remember 
All our laughter
Our singing ABBA in the van
Callous cosmos, YOU CAN'T HAVE HER

I'll remember 
As long as I can
Rubber duckies you bought this kid
Callous cosmos, YOU WON'T WIN


Triangle football
Waiting for Breakfast
Or joking with Bob on the net
Callous cosmos, YOU CAN'T HAVE HER

In one month
It will be a year
Callous cosmos
She defies you

Beyond her grave, to me she gave
Happiness and joy
The will to live
Callous cosmos, YOU WON'T WIN.

[WinterHold]

Just one thing; it's a mere sting.
Take it, because sorrow is man
man is also sorrow; that's the thing
The sun always shines
A mere cycle; every year has winter and spring
She did good bringing you up
honor her by wearing her memories as a ring

Stay strong; Brian.