The Valkyrie's Agony Aunt/Advice Thread (Ask a...)

[The Valkyrie]

There is a crazy lady with a scalpel on the internet who threatened to level me with a baseball bat if put her over my knee for a spanking. What should I do?

Beg for mercy.

It won't work but you'll live a little longer while she laughs.

[ignoramus]

There is a crazy lady with a scalpel on the internet who threatened to level me with a baseball bat if put her over my knee for a spanking.  What should I do?

Beg for mercy.

It won't work but you'll live a little longer while she laughs.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

You put yourself forward on this forum as a strong, independent woman with a tendency towards violence and a moderately unbalanced psyche.

Isn't is actually the case that you are, in reality, a sweet, cuddlesome marshmallowy sort of gal who likes nothing more than to have a hot meal ready when your Man walks in the door and to bring him his pipe and slippers after his hard day at the office, and that you spend your days knitting booties for the Blessed Event (when you're not gabbing with your gal pals, I mean)?

Boru

[ignoramus]

Don't embarrass her Boru. We all know she's exactly like that^ irl.

[pocaracas]

You want advice?

Something in your life confusing you?

Need some help from a Crazy Woman?

I'm your girl!

Ask away!*

If I wanted to send you a duck pic, what is the angle you enjoy best?

[Little lunch]

I have this problem with my penis.
It's only 5 inches.
Is that thick enough for a girl to fall in love with me?
I also have a nervous tic where I sometimes unconsciously lick my left eyebrow.
Will I ever find love?

[The Valkyrie]

You put yourself forward on this forum as a strong, independent woman with a tendency towards violence and a moderately unbalanced psyche.

Isn't is actually the case that you are, in reality, a sweet, cuddlesome marshmallowy sort of gal who likes nothing more than to have a hot meal ready when your Man walks in the door and to bring him his pipe and slippers after his hard day at the office, and that you spend your days knitting booties for the Blessed Event (when you're not gabbing with your gal pals, I mean)?

Boru

It's your fault Whangarei is about to be destroyed.

[The Valkyrie]

Don't embarrass her Boru. We all know she's exactly like that^ irl.

I was going to give you my car if I die early.

Now I'm going to have yours stolen.

[The Valkyrie]

You want advice?

Something in your life confusing you?

Need some help from a Crazy Woman?

I'm your girl!

Ask away!*

If I wanted to send you a duck pic, what is the angle you enjoy best?

Beak first.

[The Valkyrie]

I have this problem with my penis.
It's only 5 inches.
Is that thick enough for a girl to fall in love with me?
I also have a nervous tic where I sometimes unconsciously lick my left eyebrow.
Will I ever find love?

I would suggest anti psychotics for those delusions.

Many mental breakdowns start with sexual fantasies and then go on to other, more dangerous, fantasies.