joke time

[Fireball]

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?

It’s not hard.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?

It’s not hard.

Who is the most popular man at the nudist colony?

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The one who can carry two cups of coffee AND a dozen doughnuts.

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Who is the most popular woman?

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The one who can eat the last two doughnuts.

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Boru

[Brian37]

I don't get this shit?

I saw an 18 wheeler full of beer, with the keys left in it. Yea, I took it. But to my surprise the driver got pissed called the police, and the police got pissed and had me arrested!

DUDE, SERIOUSLY? IT'S FUCKING BEER!

And isn't possession 9/10ths of the law? HEY, maybe the asshole driver shouldn't have left the keys in the truck?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Mary was attending her husband's funeral when the man behind her leaned forward and said, 'I didn't know Jim very well, but would you mind if I said a word?'

'No, of course not,' said the bereaved widow. The man stood up, cleared his throat, said 'Plethora' and sat down. 

'Thank you, said Mary. 'That means a lot.'

Boru

[Brian37]

Mary was attending her husband's funeral when the man behind her leaned forward and said, 'I didn't know Jim very well, but would you mind if I said a word?'

'No, of course not,' said the bereaved widow. The man stood up, cleared his throat, said 'Plethora' and sat down. 

'Thank you, said Mary. 'That means a lot.'

Boru

You do understand why we had the Nuremberg Trials? That joke was a crime against humanity. 

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Mary was attending her husband's funeral when the man behind her leaned forward and said, 'I didn't know Jim very well, but would you mind if I said a word?'

'No, of course not,' said the bereaved widow. The man stood up, cleared his throat, said 'Plethora' and sat down. 

'Thank you, said Mary. 'That means a lot.'

Boru

You do understand why we had the Nuremberg Trials? That joke was a crime against humanity. 

One performs according to one's gift. Humanity can suck it. 

Boru

[Brian37]

You do understand why we had the Nuremberg Trials? That joke was a crime against humanity. 

One performs according to one's gift. Humanity can suck it. 

Boru

HA HA HA HA, well isn't that a pleasant attitude?  

---

So these adult porn star CEOs were getting sued, and the one exec asked the other in the board room meeting, "Do they have a good case?".

The other exec responds, "Looks like we're fucked."

[Brian37]

THIS JUST IN FROM CNN....

A riot has broken out at a federal prison over an acne outbreak.

Federal officials responded with "Clear A Cell"

[Brian37]

I have been told on a couple of occasions that I have a dry sense of humor.

I resent that. I have never once made a joke about towels.

[Darinda]

One day Donald Trump was out jogging -- and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.

Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident.

Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."

The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to
Disneyland!"

"I'll personally hand it to you," said Mr. Trump.

"I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos," the second boy said.

"I'll buy them myself and give them to you," said the grateful defender of the Western Hemisphere.

"And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the third boy.

"I'll personally ... wait a second, son, you're not
handicapped!"

"No -- but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning."