Posts: 35341
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 19, 2019 at 8:27 pm
I defeat the boss and take his loot.
My colleagues give me funny looks and one calls the cops.
Bastards!
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 19, 2019 at 10:40 pm
^ Fred
Is this him?
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 46417
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 20, 2019 at 5:32 am
(March 19, 2019 at 6:06 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: (March 19, 2019 at 5:49 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: The next time a cop pulls you over, when he walks up to the window and says, 'Papers?', yell 'SCISSORS! I WIN!!' and drive off.
Boru
You can't get a speeding ticket if you outrun the cop car.
The trouble isn't outrunning the cop's car. The real difficulty is outrunning that two-way radio.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 46417
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 23, 2019 at 7:55 am
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 67293
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 26, 2019 at 12:46 pm
I know just the guy!
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 46417
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 26, 2019 at 12:49 pm
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 35341
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 27, 2019 at 2:57 pm
(This post was last modified: March 28, 2019 at 12:02 pm by The Valkyrie.)
"The difference between kinky and erotic is using a feather or the whole chicken."
- Terry Pratchett
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 13901
Threads: 263
Joined: January 11, 2009
Reputation:
82
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 27, 2019 at 4:07 pm
(This post was last modified: March 28, 2019 at 12:03 pm by The Valkyrie.)
(March 27, 2019 at 2:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: "The difference between kinky and erotic is using a feather or the whole chicken."
- Terry Pratchett
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for he rest of his life.
Also Terry Pratchett.
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.