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Current time: December 16, 2024, 12:43 am
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joke time
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(May 6, 2020 at 5:03 pm)onlinebiker Wrote:(May 6, 2020 at 4:58 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: That would explain why he’s always going about without his trousies, I suppose.It saves time. Definitely an ease-of-access thing. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
(May 5, 2020 at 5:45 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:(May 5, 2020 at 9:40 am)Little lunch Wrote: Grandma's a bit senile now and she's been wandering off lately and we're all worried for her safety, so we tied a bell around her neck. The search radius is about 9500 miles. Better get crackin'!
Disappointing theists since 1968!
My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child.
They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way as they weren't man haters! For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
RE: joke time
May 7, 2020 at 2:14 am
(This post was last modified: May 7, 2020 at 6:52 am by The Valkyrie.)
(May 6, 2020 at 11:59 pm)Fake Messiah Wrote: My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child. They don't have the heart to tell you they're really Ron and Big Earl and they had special ops last year, too... Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" RE: joke time
May 7, 2020 at 2:53 am
(This post was last modified: May 7, 2020 at 6:52 am by The Valkyrie.)
(May 7, 2020 at 2:14 am)The Valkyrie Wrote:(May 6, 2020 at 11:59 pm)Fake Messiah Wrote: My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: “What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?” Tom says: “I would switch one train to another track.” “What if the lever broke?” asks the inspector. “Then I’d run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there,” answers Tom. “What if that had been struck by lightning?” challenges the inspector. “Then,” Tom continued, “I’d run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box.” “What if the phone was busy?” “In that case,” Tom argued, “I’d run to the street level and use the public phone near the station.” “What if that had been vandalized?” “Oh well,” said Tom, “in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo. This puzzled the inspector, so he asked “Why would you do that?” “Because he’s never seen a train crash.”
Just opened an email telling me that for only $79.95, their product will double the size of my penis in just two weeks, guaranteed. I didn’t fall for it.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I will never forget my grandfather's final words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you little bitch!"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Flight attendant:
‘It looks like we’re coming in for a hard landing, so we’re going to ask all passengers to place their head between their knees. Umm...your OWN knees, Father Flanagan.’ Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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