Why Won't My Brother Admit He's Gay?

[Erinome]

I mean, I kinda know why. We have the same father, different mothers. His mom's side of his family is super fundy. I get it that he doesn't come out of the closet because he doesn't want to be shunned by the people he loves the most. But he knows me. He knows that I would be the last to judge him or out him.

He is 23 years old, just graduated from interior design school, has nothing but platonic female friends, no male friends, he sounds more like a girl than I do, is obsessed with Lady GaGa, carries a purse, and is extremely effeminate.

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He dresses like a woman any chance he gets. This is from Halloween this year (Lady GaGa Meat Dress)



But this is him about 6 months ago, before "going clubbing with his gurls!!!!!!! ZoMg"



This is him when he's just being himself (he loves poodles), with his dog, Prissy:

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So WTF? Do you think he's gay, but doesn't know it? Is he straight and my gaydar is wonky? Or is he a tragic closet case?

I've asked him. He swears he's straight. All his besties back him up on that, but admit they've never seen him with a girl, and he's still a virgin.

Should I give a fuck? He gets really really depressed sometimes, and won't talk about what is bothering him to anyone. I feel like it's all coming from his religious based guilt from being a homosexual, but I don't know if I should press the issue, or leave it alone.

If it was your brother what would you do?

[Anomalocaris]

If he was my brother I would take his word at it's face value. If he find it desirable for any reason to want me to think him straight, why would I thwart him?

[Erinome]

There's no evidence for his heterosexuality. None. I can't accept that because I'm a stubborn, stubborn lady.

[Phaedra]

He could be straight. I've met some EXTREMELY effeminate straight men.

[Cinjin]

Good friend of mine many years ago. Much like your brother.

This was the last thing I told him regarding his confusing sexual identity:
"If you say you're not gay, ok. I won't bring it up again, but if you ever find that there's a huge secret that you want to tell me some day, I want you to know that you are my friend no matter what."

I never said anything else about it and never brought attention to his extremely flamboyant behavior or effeminate style.
8 years later, I was the first one he told that he was gay. -- -- -- -- Everyone has their own schedule.

[Erinome]

That's pretty much what I told him a few years ago, and I haven't brought it up since. If he wasn't so down in the dumps all the time it wouldn't bother me. I feel helpless.

[Diamond]

You could have him listen to this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuR5YMyfeNI
There seems to be a song about everything these days, doesn't there?

[Phaedra]

Maybe talk to him a little about seeing a counselor for his depression? Don't mention the gay thing at all. Just tell him that you're concerned about his moods, and that it hurts you to see him so sad all the time.

[Erinome]

He could be straight. I've met some EXTREMELY effeminate straight men.

I have too, but never one so effeminate as he.

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Maybe talk to him a little about seeing a counselor for his depression? Don't mention the gay thing at all. Just tell him that you're concerned about his moods, and that it hurts you to see him so sad all the time.

I did tonight and he got all defensive. He's a bit of a drama queen. LoL

Well, he is!

[Phaedra]

I have too, but never one so effeminate as he.

I used to go-go dance with a man who wore dresses and makeup, designed clothing and costumes, loved choreographing our moves, and talked like a stereotypical fruity gay man. I was SHOCKED to discover that he was straight. In fact, I wouldn't have believed it had I not heard testimony from his former girlfriends. He also consistently flirted with women, and I saw him go home with women on several occasions.