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Current time: December 15, 2024, 4:02 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#4911
RE: joke time
May 15, 2021 at 3:56 am
My wife was complaining that I never buy her flowers. In my defense, I didn't even know she SOLD flowers.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Darinda Offline
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#4912
RE: joke time
May 15, 2021 at 3:32 pm
My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway.
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#4913
RE: joke time
May 15, 2021 at 10:19 pm
Guys. If you want to make your wife laugh, introduce her at social occasions as the "ex-girlfriend".

She'll love you for it.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Fireball Offline
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#4914
RE: joke time
May 15, 2021 at 11:22 pm (This post was last modified: May 15, 2021 at 11:23 pm by Fireball.)
I have actually, at times, introduced my current wife as "my first wife". Shit was going sideways, in those days. NB: this is the only wife I have ever had.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#4915
RE: joke time
May 16, 2021 at 6:54 am
Cop: 'I'm arresting you for passing counterfeit money.'

Me, slipping the officer a $37 bill: 'How about now?'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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ignoramus Offline
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#4916
RE: joke time
May 16, 2021 at 7:44 am (This post was last modified: May 16, 2021 at 7:44 am by ignoramus.)
Beccs' told me she had a special soft spot for me. Luckily, I found out in time about the quicksand pit near her house.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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Darinda Offline
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#4917
RE: joke time
May 16, 2021 at 12:03 pm
My wife is on two diet plans, apparently she was not getting enough food on one.
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#4918
RE: joke time
May 17, 2021 at 2:59 am
And on Good Friday the Lord was crucified.

And he looked down upon his disciples and said, "I'll be back monday. Keep your fucking hands off my Easter eggs!"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#4919
RE: joke time
May 17, 2021 at 4:12 am
I really, REALLY wanted to buy this car...

[Image: P1GI7x5.jpg]

...but it was Taken.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#4920
RE: joke time
May 17, 2021 at 4:27 am
(May 17, 2021 at 4:12 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I really, REALLY wanted to buy this car...

[Image: P1GI7x5.jpg]

...but it was Taken.

Boru

They made three of those movies.

Sooner or later you just have to start wondering if he's a lousy parent*




*with thanks to Wade Wilson.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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