Stupid things religious people say

[AFTT47]

Christian pastor says marijuana makes men ‘spiritually gay’ and calls for ‘nicotine men’

https://www.thepinknews.com/2026/06/03/j...tine-2026/

Me-thinks he has Marlboro cowboy envy.

Holy shit, this guy is one serious idiot. Maybe Trump will make him the next Secretary of Health.

[Fake Messiah]

Since the Christian circles and the government now seem enamored of the idea that UFOs are Satanic orbs piloted by demons, it's worth noting that this claim, rooted in Ephesians 2:2, reflects Puritan ideas about the sky being filled with flying rebel angels and demons, as Thomas Goodwin (1600-80) wrote:

By the "power of the air" is meant not simply in the abstract, Satan's government over the air whereof he is prince, but his devils, his angels that live and fly up and down in the air as the most convenient place for their residence; these have that power whereof he is prince; and as the "power of the air" refers to those airy spirits that are Principalities and powers and rulers with him in this world, and who work under him in the men of this world; and they are a united kingdom, a body politic under this one prince, Satan: and they are called POWER, as we call an army a power, a force, as Pharaoh's host in Exodus 4:28; 15:4. The whole creation above the earth may be divided into three parts, whereof each part has its powers that are its inhabitants; there are the highest heavens, where is God and His host of angels; there are the starry heavens, with the sun for the prince of its hosts, and there is the air of this sublunary world, with Satan's trained crew there, called the "Power of the air" or hosts of devils in the air under their prince.

[Fake Messiah]

What would Jesus drink? Welcome to the age of Christian energy beverages

Another mega-celeb has entered the beverage game. Or rather, beverage companies have enlisted him in an effort to spread the good word about their product.

Jesus, it turns out, has a branding problem – at least according to the makers of these drinks. Too many people simply haven’t heard the message. “God put it on our hearts to specifically preach the gospel through an energy drink,” the creator of Yahweh says in an Instagram video defending the company against accusations that it exists mainly to turn a profit.



Unfortunately, after trying the Yahweh energy drink, I don’t feel especially compelled to convert. If the goal is evangelism, Blessed Berry, with its heavy, medicinal notes, may not be the strongest missionary. In fact, the aftertaste lingered with some insistence, like Jehovah’s Witnesses evangelizing at your door even after you told them you were agnostic.

If you want a better-tasting first Christian energy drink, I recommend Preachin’ Peach from Agape.



The depiction of Jesus is less thirsty, but the peach flavoring is right on target: it tastes almost exactly like a peach lollipop. It’s not quite as aggressively peachy as a peach Nehi, but fans of that drink would probably enjoy this. Or, you know, fans of Christ dying for our sins.

Yahweh has zero calories, while Agape clocks in at 10, and, somehow, those 10 calories seem to matter.

Each case of Agape comes with a single sleeve cardboard gift box designed to be used directly for evangelism. Whether that’s evangelism for Christ or evangelism for Agape, you get to decide. Agape costs $40 for a 20-pack, so one can is roughly $3.30 for a 12oz energy drink. That evangelism tax is a little pricey.

The real standout in flavor, if not in branding, is 4gvn (as in forgiven, what Jesus does with our sins filtered through tech bro speak).



There’s no depiction of Jesus on the can, but the flavor Gospel Gummy tastes exactly like a gummy worm. I don’t know how they did that with only the 10 load-bearing calories needed. If you told me Jesus turned water into a gummy worm-flavored energy drink, I would have to believe you.

4gvn is hardly alone in the Christian energy drink ecosystem. There’s Praise Energy, whose mascot, Zion the Lion, is a cartoon lion sporting an “I ♡ Jesus” T-shirt and high-top sneakers. Then there’s Heir Lion, whose mascot feels like it should be a cartoon lion in an “I ♡ Jesus” T-shirt and high-top sneakers – but, confusingly, is not.

Are these brands helping raise awareness for Christianity, or are they just treating Jesus like an uncopyrighted Mickey Mouse?

https://www.theguardian.com/business/202...ergy-drink

[Fake Messiah]

Wow, guys, Muslims in Iran are dreaming of Jesus and converting to Christianity en masse. Muslims are finally coming to their senses and seeing what is the true religion. At least that's how it was in January of this year.

The spiritual and physical battles raging inside Iran only seem to be exacerbating, but aren’t new. Meschi reflected on a common experience she has heard people report in recent years — that Muslims in Iran routinely encounter Jesus in visions and dreams and convert to Christianity as a result.

“One of my colleagues that we work together to spread the Gospel in Iran, in fact, came to faith through visions and dreams,” she said. “And, many, many contact us because they see Jesus, and they know we are a Christian channel.”

Meschi continued, “They reach out, they go, ‘You know, we have seen Jesus in our dream, and He healed us from such and such disease in the hospital room. I don’t know where to start. … I want to believe in Him. I want to trust Him.'”

“They had real physical healings, and Jesus appears to them in their visions, in their dreams,” Meschi said. “And making Himself known to them, so they know that it was Jesus. When they contact us, they already know that Jesus healed them, and they just want to know more about this Jesus.”

source

[Fake Messiah]

My favorite Christians' websites, or should I say topics, are the ones like Medjugorje where Christians, or should I say Catholics, are not ashamed to go full retard. And why shouldn't they, considering that the outsiders like atheists usually ignore these kinds of places? That's why I can always go to medjugorje.com to find material for this thread.

This time we're basically getting new books for the Bible, freshly dictated by god and his family. And this time it's going to be an autobiography by the virgin Mary.

According to the seer of virgin Mary in Bosnia, and millions of Catholics believe she's genuine, including Martin Sheen who made a whole movie about her, and Jesus himself—Jim Caviezel—she has been writing a book dictated to her by no other than Jesus's sister, mother, and daughter—Virgin Mary. Exactly the same way that the texts in the New Testament were written—some lunatic claimed to hear god others around her were imagining.

Seer Vicka Ivanković, through decades of apparitions of Our Lady, has testified to profound spiritual experiences, secrets entrusted to her by Our Lady, and the strength she received to carry them. In one interview, she specifically emphasized that Our Lady told her her entire biography, from birth to the Assumption, which is written in three notebooks, but she cannot publish it for now because she does not have the authority to do so.

"Our Lady gave me the strength to cope with the weight of keeping secrets all these years. Our Lady also told me her entire biography, from birth to the Assumption. I have her entire biography written down in three notebooks."

From the very beginning of the apparitions, the seers have been in a privileged position compared to the rest of us believers. You have been introduced to the secrets; you have been shown heaven, hell and purgatory. Vicka, what is it like to live with the secrets entrusted to you by the Mother of God?

"So far, Our Lady has given me nine out of ten secrets. It is not a burden for me, because when She revealed the secrets to me, Our Lady also gave me the strength to deal with them. I live as if I had none at all."

https://medjugorje-news.com/vidjelica-vi...tna-prica/

So she doesn't have the "authority" to publish them. That authority must be the First Council of Nicaea. Many before have tried to push the virgin's autobiography into the canon without success, but who knows, with the right PR everything is possible.

[Fake Messiah]

So the most compelling argument for God is that Christians are (unexplainably) calm people.

Bartlett reveals ‘most compelling argument for God’ after Diary of a CEO interview with Lennox

Entrepreneur and Diary of a CEO host Steven Bartlett has revealed what he saw as “one of the most compelling arguments for God” after his conversation with Christian apologist Professor John Lennox.

TV ‘Dragon’ Bartlett told Lennox that his witness was as convincing as the arguments he had made.

“You have a certain peace and contentment that I rarely see in people that I interview, but I almost always see in the Christians that I’ve interviewed. This is an interesting phenomenon for me.”

Bartlett referenced his interview with Canadian apologist Wesley Huff, who he described as “happy, content [and] rounded”.

“It seems to be a trend that a lot of the Christian apologists that I've interviewed have that anchoring that so many of us are looking for”, he added.

“There’s a real sense of that,” Lennox responded, “I sit in front of many people, and of course they often ask me questions I don't even understand. But in life, that peace is very important to me.”

“When I look at you, I see someone who's of infinite value made in the image of God, and so what I say to you or think about you is hugely important to me. And I wish you well”, the apologist concluded.

https://premierchristian.news/en/news/ar...ith-lennox

Ah yes, they are so calm when they tell you that you'll burn in hell, that gay people are satanic, or when they burn books.

But I'm not even being sarcastic. I remember when I watched the documentary about the Westboro Baptist Church by Louis Theroux, how they all had that creepy grin on their faces as they yelled hateful things at people. They were ecstatic. Definitely check that documentary (first of three).

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

^Here's some of those unexplainably calm Christians.



Boru