Stupid things religious people say

[AFTT47]

Christian pastor says marijuana makes men ‘spiritually gay’ and calls for ‘nicotine men’

https://www.thepinknews.com/2026/06/03/j...tine-2026/

Me-thinks he has Marlboro cowboy envy.

Holy shit, this guy is one serious idiot. Maybe Trump will make him the next Secretary of Health.

[Fake Messiah]

Since the Christian circles and the government now seem enamored of the idea that UFOs are Satanic orbs piloted by demons, it's worth noting that this claim, rooted in Ephesians 2:2, reflects Puritan ideas about the sky being filled with flying rebel angels and demons, as Thomas Goodwin (1600-80) wrote:

By the "power of the air" is meant not simply in the abstract, Satan's government over the air whereof he is prince, but his devils, his angels that live and fly up and down in the air as the most convenient place for their residence; these have that power whereof he is prince; and as the "power of the air" refers to those airy spirits that are Principalities and powers and rulers with him in this world, and who work under him in the men of this world; and they are a united kingdom, a body politic under this one prince, Satan: and they are called POWER, as we call an army a power, a force, as Pharaoh's host in Exodus 4:28; 15:4. The whole creation above the earth may be divided into three parts, whereof each part has its powers that are its inhabitants; there are the highest heavens, where is God and His host of angels; there are the starry heavens, with the sun for the prince of its hosts, and there is the air of this sublunary world, with Satan's trained crew there, called the "Power of the air" or hosts of devils in the air under their prince.

[Fake Messiah]

What would Jesus drink? Welcome to the age of Christian energy beverages

Another mega-celeb has entered the beverage game. Or rather, beverage companies have enlisted him in an effort to spread the good word about their product.

Jesus, it turns out, has a branding problem – at least according to the makers of these drinks. Too many people simply haven’t heard the message. “God put it on our hearts to specifically preach the gospel through an energy drink,” the creator of Yahweh says in an Instagram video defending the company against accusations that it exists mainly to turn a profit.



Unfortunately, after trying the Yahweh energy drink, I don’t feel especially compelled to convert. If the goal is evangelism, Blessed Berry, with its heavy, medicinal notes, may not be the strongest missionary. In fact, the aftertaste lingered with some insistence, like Jehovah’s Witnesses evangelizing at your door even after you told them you were agnostic.

If you want a better-tasting first Christian energy drink, I recommend Preachin’ Peach from Agape.



The depiction of Jesus is less thirsty, but the peach flavoring is right on target: it tastes almost exactly like a peach lollipop. It’s not quite as aggressively peachy as a peach Nehi, but fans of that drink would probably enjoy this. Or, you know, fans of Christ dying for our sins.

Yahweh has zero calories, while Agape clocks in at 10, and, somehow, those 10 calories seem to matter.

Each case of Agape comes with a single sleeve cardboard gift box designed to be used directly for evangelism. Whether that’s evangelism for Christ or evangelism for Agape, you get to decide. Agape costs $40 for a 20-pack, so one can is roughly $3.30 for a 12oz energy drink. That evangelism tax is a little pricey.

The real standout in flavor, if not in branding, is 4gvn (as in forgiven, what Jesus does with our sins filtered through tech bro speak).



There’s no depiction of Jesus on the can, but the flavor Gospel Gummy tastes exactly like a gummy worm. I don’t know how they did that with only the 10 load-bearing calories needed. If you told me Jesus turned water into a gummy worm-flavored energy drink, I would have to believe you.

4gvn is hardly alone in the Christian energy drink ecosystem. There’s Praise Energy, whose mascot, Zion the Lion, is a cartoon lion sporting an “I ♡ Jesus” T-shirt and high-top sneakers. Then there’s Heir Lion, whose mascot feels like it should be a cartoon lion in an “I ♡ Jesus” T-shirt and high-top sneakers – but, confusingly, is not.

Are these brands helping raise awareness for Christianity, or are they just treating Jesus like an uncopyrighted Mickey Mouse?

https://www.theguardian.com/business/202...ergy-drink

[Fake Messiah]

Wow, guys, Muslims in Iran are dreaming of Jesus and converting to Christianity en masse. Muslims are finally coming to their senses and seeing what is the true religion. At least that's how it was in January of this year.

The spiritual and physical battles raging inside Iran only seem to be exacerbating, but aren’t new. Meschi reflected on a common experience she has heard people report in recent years — that Muslims in Iran routinely encounter Jesus in visions and dreams and convert to Christianity as a result.

“One of my colleagues that we work together to spread the Gospel in Iran, in fact, came to faith through visions and dreams,” she said. “And, many, many contact us because they see Jesus, and they know we are a Christian channel.”

Meschi continued, “They reach out, they go, ‘You know, we have seen Jesus in our dream, and He healed us from such and such disease in the hospital room. I don’t know where to start. … I want to believe in Him. I want to trust Him.'”

“They had real physical healings, and Jesus appears to them in their visions, in their dreams,” Meschi said. “And making Himself known to them, so they know that it was Jesus. When they contact us, they already know that Jesus healed them, and they just want to know more about this Jesus.”

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