RE: Post jokes about religion/non religion
August 15, 2012 at 8:43 pm
(This post was last modified: August 15, 2012 at 9:52 pm by FemmeRealism.)
You can't ignore the people who disagree and pretend it makes you right.
Post jokes about religion/non religion
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RE: Post jokes about religion/non religion
August 15, 2012 at 8:43 pm
(This post was last modified: August 15, 2012 at 9:52 pm by FemmeRealism.)
You can't ignore the people who disagree and pretend it makes you right.
You can't ignore the people who disagree and pretend it makes you right.
A young man sits next to a nun in the park and they strike up a conversation.
Some time passes and the young man confesses to the nun that her habit really turns him on and that he would dearly like to make love to her. "Are you a Catholic ?" she asks. "Yes" he lies. "OK lets go behind those bushes." They do as she suggests and the nun satisfies him with a blowjob. Afterwards, feeling very guilty, the man tells the nun that he isn't in fact a Catholic. She replies "Well I have something to tell you as well. My name is Bob and I'm on my way to a fancy dress party."
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
There's a priest in confessional, and he's doing the regular thing.
A girl comes in and says, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." The priest asks her what she has done, and she says, "I let my boyfriend put his fingers in me." The priest looked down the list (you know they have one!) and said, "All right, that'll be two Hail Marys and an our father." The girl leaves, and a little while later, another girl enters. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." He asks this girl what she's done, and she says, "I allowed my boyfriend to perform oral sex on me." The priest again looks down the list, sees female oral sex, and read it off, "Three hail maries and two our fathers." The girl then leaves. A little while later, the priest is getting restless - he had some chili for lunch, and it's coming back to haunt him. Finanlly, he goes out, grabs a janitor, and says, "Al, you gotta man the booth for me, I'm about to shit my pants!" The janitor looks dazes, and says, "I can't do that!" The priest says, "Sure you can. Just ask 'em what they've done, and read the punishment off the list." The janitor reluctantly gets in the booth. A few minutes later, a girl comes into the booth and says, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." The janitor says, "Uh, whatcha do?" The girl says, "I gave my boyfriend a blowjob." The janitor looks down the list... Shit! He thinks to himself, There's nothing here for blowjob. He runs out of the booth and looks for someone who might know. He grabs a choirboy and asks, "Hey kid, what does the priest usually give for a blowjob?" The choirboy replied, "Usually a Snickers bar and a pat on the head." A 92 year old man goes to confession. The moment he's settled in, he blurts out, "Father, I had sex with a pair of nineteen year olds!" The priest says, "Wait a minute. I don't recognize your voice. Are you a member of this parish?" The old man says, "No I'm not." "But you are Roman Catholic, aren't you?" "No I'm not." "Well, why are you telling me about it?" The old man says, "Hell, I'm telling everyone about it!"
"How is it that a lame man does not annoy us while a lame mind does? Because a lame man recognizes that we are walking straight, while a lame mind says that it is we who are limping." - Pascal
"The Canon's here to see you, Bishop."
"Tell him he's fired."
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon
You can't ignore the people who disagree and pretend it makes you right.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?" "God." "God who?" "Exactly." Gotta love a bit of antihumor.
You really believe in a man who has helped to save the world twice, with the power to change his physical appearance? An alien who travels though time and space--in a police box?!?
RE: Post jokes about religion/non religion
August 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm
(This post was last modified: August 16, 2012 at 3:16 pm by FemmeRealism.)
You can't ignore the people who disagree and pretend it makes you right.
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