Chiches you want to bitch slap.

[greneknight]

A few of my personal peeves (remember I have a British Civil Service background to draw upon):

* Thinking out of the box

* Blue-sky thinking

* 24/7

* Anyone talking about looking at the larger scale when they mean the bigger picture (increasing the scale actually reduces the size of the picture).

* Anyone talking about looking at the bigger picture.

* Anyone who comes up to a lift on the ground floor and says "are you going up?" (No, we're standing still - it must be you going down!)

* People who use SMS- or text-speak in emails and Facebook messages (why? What's the bloody point? It's not as if there's a limit to the number of characters you can use in an email. LOL.)

* People who look at a watch or clock and say "is that the time?" (No, it's the bloody airspeed velocity of a coconut-laden African Swallow!)

* I'll pray for you

* I've been praying for you

* God did answer the prayers but sometimes the answer's "no"

* Anyone who uses the term 'ad hominem' when they mean 'insult'

Not specifically clichés but which stick in my craw anyway:

Any sentence using words such as:

* Gotten (yes, I'm fully aware that it's a very old English spelling for the past tense of "got", it still creases me)

* Bunch (there are times when this word is a perfectly acceptable collective term for things such as flowers and grapes etc. It's when it gets thrown around as the collective term for everything else that it gets very, very irritating)

* Elevator when you mean lift

* First floor when referring to the ground floor of a building

* Tidbit instead of the genuinely correct but slightly rude titbit

* Rooster instead of cock (for similar historically prudish reasons)

* Aluminum when you mean aluminium; pavement when you mean road; sidewalk when you mean pavement; bum when you mean tramp; fanny when you mean bum; ass instead of arse; etc etc. In fact, when in Britain it can be really important not to confuse the words bum and fanny.

I know there's a whole bunch more but it's a pain in the fanny trying to think the bigger picture out of the aluminum box 24/7.

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Things like "PIN Number" or "ATM Machine" are bloody annoying.

A bit geeky, this one, but in Doctor Who there's a secretive military organisation called UNIT (United Nations Intelligence Taskforce - although in Nu-Who, the real UN apparently objected to the use of their inclusion so it was renamed the UNified Intelligence Taskforce). Anyway, it's so irritating every time I see it referred to as UNIT Taskforce.

I find Stimbo very funny but I agree with him. Americans have a funny way of saying things and they can be confusing. I have been to America and I was on a train with my Mum when an announcement went "This train will depart momentarily". My Mum and I looked at each other in bewilderment. I thought there was a technical fault and the train would depart and return to where we were seconds later. I made a mental note of the word and when I got home, I looked it up in my trusty Oxford and it says "momentarily" also means "in a moment" in US English.

As for the cock/rooster thing, it's got a lot to do with Americans being prudish. I read an article in the Guardian once about how you can't say "toilet" in the US. You've got to say "bathroom". Naturally, they cooked up the word "rooster" so they didn't have to use the word "cock". I wonder if the puritans who founded the US had anything to do with this.

In the US, they say "elevator" all the time. And of course their elevators take you to the wrong floor - you have to reduce the floor by one all the time. I've been to Lisbon and they call their lifts "Elevador" (I could have spelt it wrong). Lisbon has very interesting lifts that take you from one road level to another. My dad says it's because Lisbon is built on a hilly land. Oh, and "spelt" is a problem too. I was told in another forum that I spelt "spelt" wrong. I didn't check with them how they would spell it. Perhaps "spelled" which looks weird to me.

Why are they so different? Isn't English the language of England?

[Brian37]

Anyone who comes up to a lift on the ground floor and says "are you going up?" (No, we're standing still - it must be you going down!)

I like to fuck with people who I follow in and I ask for a floor number that doesn't exist. For example, a two story building I'll ask for 5 and they will actually look. "5 please". Try it sometime, it's funny and silly.

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I was just reminded of another one "MAN UP". I fucking hate that!

All kidding aside, I hate that because humans, men in particular think life is a fucking script and "men" have to follow a "manly" script. Being a decent human being has nothing to do with what is between your legs and nothing to do with whether you show emotions or not.

[Tiberius]

5.. "Side affects may include" HOLLY SHIT this is nothing but the drug industry making laws so they can legally use us as lab mice. How about putting out a product that wont kill you, is that too much to ask?

Are you really this dumb? Everyone is unique, we all react to drugs in different ways. Making a drug that does something extremely precise is very hard. The drug industry are not using us as lab mice when they put warnings on medicine...they are WARNING us. If you don't like it, don't use medicine, because it's all the same, whether a big pharmaceutical company makes it or not.

[Brian37]

5.. "Side affects may include" HOLLY SHIT this is nothing but the drug industry making laws so they can legally use us as lab mice. How about putting out a product that wont kill you, is that too much to ask?

Are you really this dumb? Everyone is unique, we all react to drugs in different ways. Making a drug that does something extremely precise is very hard. The drug industry are not using us as lab mice when they put warnings on medicine...they are WARNING us. If you don't like it, don't use medicine, because it's all the same, whether a big pharmaceutical company makes it or not.

Thanks for the update, if it were not for you I would think we are clones each other. OUR BODIES REACT DIFFERENTLY? NO REALLY?

But you are a fool if you don't think big pharma doesn't pump the government with laws that allow them to peddle their drugs. We all know there has never been any class action suit against drug companies right? Because they are always humanitarians and not out for money.

I just find it sick that they think it is ok to give medical advice in 30 seconds as if that qualifies as an office visit. The fact still remains that they are out to make money.

Drugs are a good thing and doctors are a good thing and DUH, we all respond differently, but any blind trust of anything is stupid especially anything sold on tv with that much fine print.

That disclaimer is a cover your ass crap so they cant be sued if someone dies.

[Darth]

So they can't be sued? Right! Because you were duly warned. If you allow the companies to be sued even after they've given their warning then the drugs will skyrocket in price, which will hurt people. They make the product aimed to solve x, and then warn that it might hurt you, even kill you. Now the ball is in your court. So long as they are honest, what's the harm? I would much rather have the choice to take the pill or not.

Corporatism is of course a problem, but a person voluntarily taking a disclosed risk of getting hurt, and then getting hurt, shouldn't make a company liable for damages.

"Blind trust of anything is stupid especially anything sold on tv with that much fine print"? Thanks for the update, were it not for you...

Never? Wasn't there a big breast implant class action...? (have fun misreading that sentence)

[Annik]

I just want to say that it now takes the better part of a decade to get a medicine approved by the FDA these days. Aspirin, for instance, would never have made it through the rigorous testing now required of drugs.


A lack of mindfulness has always annoyed me.

[Tiberius]

Thanks for the update, if it were not for you I would think we are clones each other. OUR BODIES REACT DIFFERENTLY? NO REALLY?

Don't blame me; you were the one who complained about drug companies not being able to do the impossible.

But you are a fool if you don't think big pharma doesn't pump the government with laws that allow them to peddle their drugs. We all know there has never been any class action suit against drug companies right? Because they are always humanitarians and not out for money.

Did I even address corruption in big pharma? No, I don't think I did, so no, I'm not a fool. My point was, the warnings are there because the drugs are unpredictable in such a diverse population; they are not there because of a lack of adequate testing.

I just find it sick that they think it is ok to give medical advice in 30 seconds as if that qualifies as an office visit. The fact still remains that they are out to make money.

No idea what you are talking about here, but my doctor has never given 30 seconds of medical advice. Even if he/she did, I'd probably go along with what they say anyway. Why? Because they're a fucking doctor and I'm not arrogant enough to think that I know more than they do when they've spent over 6 years at medical school and I haven't.

Drugs are a good thing and doctors are a good thing and DUH, we all respond differently, but any blind trust of anything is stupid especially anything sold on tv with that much fine print.

It's not blind trust; doctors earn degrees and often have them displayed prominently in their practices. Drugs are heavily tested on both rats and (willing) human subjects before the packaging has even been designed. The fact they have fine print is a good thing. What would you prefer, drugs that tell you what could possibly go wrong, or drugs that conceal that information?

That disclaimer is a cover your ass crap so they cant be sued if someone dies.

Yeah, maybe, but it's also so that less people do actually die. You see, pharmaceutical companies, like any company, rely on consumers to purchase their products. If they invent a drug which kills a load of their consumers, they won't be viewed very highly by the remaining consumers, or by any governments that have business contracts with them.

Bottom line is: when you can come up with a drug that works perfectly and has no negative side effects, then you can complain about warnings on drugs.

[Cyberman]

---

A few of my personal peeves (remember I have a British Civil Service background to draw upon):

* Thinking out of the box

* Blue-sky thinking

* 24/7

* Anyone talking about looking at the larger scale when they mean the bigger picture (increasing the scale actually reduces the size of the picture).

* Anyone talking about looking at the bigger picture.

* Anyone who comes up to a lift on the ground floor and says "are you going up?" (No, we're standing still - it must be you going down!)

* People who use SMS- or text-speak in emails and Facebook messages (why? What's the bloody point? It's not as if there's a limit to the number of characters you can use in an email. LOL.)

* People who look at a watch or clock and say "is that the time?" (No, it's the bloody airspeed velocity of a coconut-laden African Swallow!)

* I'll pray for you

* I've been praying for you

* God did answer the prayers but sometimes the answer's "no"

* Anyone who uses the term 'ad hominem' when they mean 'insult'

Not specifically clichés but which stick in my craw anyway:

Any sentence using words such as:

* Gotten (yes, I'm fully aware that it's a very old English spelling for the past tense of "got", it still creases me)

* Bunch (there are times when this word is a perfectly acceptable collective term for things such as flowers and grapes etc. It's when it gets thrown around as the collective term for everything else that it gets very, very irritating)

* Elevator when you mean lift

* First floor when referring to the ground floor of a building

* Tidbit instead of the genuinely correct but slightly rude titbit

* Rooster instead of cock (for similar historically prudish reasons)

* Aluminum when you mean aluminium; pavement when you mean road; sidewalk when you mean pavement; bum when you mean tramp; fanny when you mean bum; ass instead of arse; etc etc. In fact, when in Britain it can be really important not to confuse the words bum and fanny.

I know there's a whole bunch more but it's a pain in the fanny trying to think the bigger picture out of the aluminum box 24/7.

---

A bit geeky, this one, but in Doctor Who there's a secretive military organisation called UNIT (United Nations Intelligence Taskforce - although in Nu-Who, the real UN apparently objected to the use of their inclusion so it was renamed the UNified Intelligence Taskforce). Anyway, it's so irritating every time I see it referred to as UNIT Taskforce.

---

I find Stimbo very funny but I agree with him. Americans have a funny way of saying things and they can be confusing. I have been to America and I was on a train with my Mum when an announcement went "This train will depart momentarily". My Mum and I looked at each other in bewilderment. I thought there was a technical fault and the train would depart and return to where we were seconds later. I made a mental note of the word and when I got home, I looked it up in my trusty Oxford and it says "momentarily" also means "in a moment" in US English.

As for the cock/rooster thing, it's got a lot to do with Americans being prudish. I read an article in the Guardian once about how you can't say "toilet" in the US. You've got to say "bathroom". Naturally, they cooked up the word "rooster" so they didn't have to use the word "cock". I wonder if the puritans who founded the US had anything to do with this.

In the US, they say "elevator" all the time. And of course their elevators take you to the wrong floor - you have to reduce the floor by one all the time. I've been to Lisbon and they call their lifts "Elevador" (I could have spelt it wrong). Lisbon has very interesting lifts that take you from one road level to another. My dad says it's because Lisbon is built on a hilly land. Oh, and "spelt" is a problem too. I was told in another forum that I spelt "spelt" wrong. I didn't check with them how they would spell it. Perhaps "spelled" which looks weird to me.

Why are they so different? Isn't English the language of England?

America and Britain: two countries seperated by a common language.

Yes, "momentarily" really makes me cringe. "I'll be with you momentarily" (oh, aren't you staying? I have had a bath you know!)

Also I too have problems with words like "spelt". I'm ashamed to say that over here the spelling is becoming dominant, even though English english really makes no distinction between that and "spelled", which looks more correct to my eyes; "spelt" looks ugly and just wrong. Apparently it can cause confusion in America, too, since spelt is a laurel and hardy type of wheat grown mostly in Europe.

"Smelt" is the same; it's used as the past participle of "smell" but the word can also be a type of freshwater fish, not to mention something you do to extract metal from ore.

In fact, on the topic of smells, it annoys me on those extremely, vanishingly rare occasions that a person might say "you smell" (my response would be "no, you smell; I stink" - I promise you this situation is almost non-existent, applying only to cases in which I may have trodden in something unsavoury. I do wash and bathe, honestly! Am I protesting too much?)

Some more that occurred to me just this morning:

* "please fill out this form" (sorry, but you cannot "fill out" any kind of paperwork. You can fill in a form, or you can make out a form, but the only things you can "fill out" include things like clothing - as in "she really fills out a bra, doesn't she?")

* any talk of a person being executed. You cannot execute a person. Somebody signs a death warrant, then it's that order which is executed, i.e. carried out.

* a person being "hung" instead of "hanged" (giving rise to the old joke that a criminal ought to be well-hung: "indeed I am, madam!" or "that's what she said!")

* people who talk about energy as though it's a catch-all term for every kind of magic and spiritual mumbo-jumbo

* the word "irregardless" makes me want to punch that person even if it means doing it through the internet

* starting a handwritten letter with "I'm writing to tell you..." (Of course you're writing, it's a bloody letter!)

* the phenomenon of a happy, fun thread turning into a blazing row after about two pages

Also this is rather esoteric and requires a bit of backstory. Back in the nineties, I had a period of unemployment, one 'solution' for which was to attend what was called a "Job-club", a privately-sponsored Government scheme to reclassify a percentage of the unemployed as "job seekers" and thus downwardly massage the official unemployment figures. Basically it involved daily attending a group and being 'taught' how to read the job pages of newspapers, fill out () application forms, watch 'inspirational' videos etc. Anyway, their motto, which was drummed into our heads like a mantra was:

* "Getting a job is a job in itself!"

Yes, we used to throw up in our mouths too.

I'm sure there were some more but my memory seems to be leaking.

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Oh by the way:

I find Stimbo very funny but I agree with him.

This actually made my day. I do aim to please and it's encouraging when those efforts are appreciated, or even simply acknowledged. Thank you!

[Gambit]

I remember the job club, too. It's perhaps the reason that I've never been a member of any club since.

Back to the thread topic:

People who send a text message that reads "Who's this?" when they don't have your number saved. - If you don't know who you are, I'm not going to tell you.

Shop assistants/cashiers/clerks who, when you pay for stuff with a lot of change, ask if you were out singing for the money - Someone caught me on a bad day with this one once, so I replied "No, I pimped my ass out, but I'm so fucking ugly I could only get 50p a go."

[Cyberman]

I remember a television play or mini series from some years ago, I thought it was a Dennis Potter thing but can't find what it might have been, starring Alfred Molina (perhaps better known as Doc Ock in Spiderman 2, a bishop in The da Vinci Code if anybody actually watched that and the short-lived and treacherous Satipo in Raiders of the Lost Ark; however I'll always see him as his fantastic performance of immortal comedy genius Tony Hancock in a BBC "Screen One" play).

Anyway, there was a running joke throughout the episodes, parodying one of the more annoying things that actually happens in real life, in which someone would pay for some inexpensive item they want to buy using, say, a £20 note. "Haven't you got anything smaller?" says the cashier, to which Molina replies "Well, I think I've got a 5p piece." "That's not enough," says the cashier. "I know," says Molina, "that's why I gave you the £20 note!"

I would so love to do that in real life!