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RE: WTF Bible
September 15, 2013 at 12:25 pm
(September 15, 2013 at 10:00 am)downbeatplumb Wrote: (September 14, 2013 at 10:31 am)Walking Void Wrote: I never wished to break the ice, but He boinked Mary.
Is it not strange that god is supposed to have fucked his mum.
Oh jesus you motherfucker
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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RE: WTF Bible
September 17, 2013 at 9:54 pm
(This post was last modified: September 17, 2013 at 9:55 pm by catfish.)
(September 14, 2013 at 8:28 am)Jiggerj Wrote: Genesis 1: 27-30: So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
--------------------------------
So, this eternal god looks just like us. Why does he need a nose to breathe, or a mouth and a stomach to eat with? Could he starve to death? Does he have a colon and a penis to poop and pee with? Come with us now as we go in search of logic in the bible. 
Ummm, I thought it was quite poetic, once I saw the Hebrew letters for Yahweh stacked vertically...
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RE: WTF Bible
September 17, 2013 at 10:02 pm
(September 17, 2013 at 9:54 pm)catfish Wrote: (September 14, 2013 at 8:28 am)Jiggerj Wrote: Genesis 1: 27-30: So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
--------------------------------
So, this eternal god looks just like us. Why does he need a nose to breathe, or a mouth and a stomach to eat with? Could he starve to death? Does he have a colon and a penis to poop and pee with? Come with us now as we go in search of logic in the bible.
Ummm, I thought it was quite poetic, once I saw the Hebrew letters for Yahweh stacked vertically...
Abraham Abulafia would approve. Of course, he was a lunatic.
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RE: WTF Bible
September 17, 2013 at 10:06 pm
 (September 17, 2013 at 10:02 pm)Captain Colostomy Wrote: (September 17, 2013 at 9:54 pm)catfish Wrote: Ummm, I thought it was quite poetic, once I saw the Hebrew letters for Yahweh stacked vertically...
Abraham Abulafia would approve. Of course, he was a lunatic.
Don't worry, I'll feed you every now and then. Just not now.
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RE: WTF Bible
September 17, 2013 at 10:10 pm
Yippee fucking skippy.
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RE: WTF Bible
September 17, 2013 at 10:13 pm
(This post was last modified: September 17, 2013 at 10:18 pm by The Reality Salesman01.)
(September 13, 2013 at 3:33 pm)Captain Colostomy Wrote: Why my copy has 'Good News' written on it?  Lmao!
(September 15, 2013 at 12:25 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: (September 15, 2013 at 10:00 am)downbeatplumb Wrote: Is it not strange that god is supposed to have fucked his mum.
Oh jesus you motherfucker Ha ha ha...I've been away for a few weeks, but I miss you silly bastards.
(September 14, 2013 at 7:27 am)pocaracas Wrote: Everything can be explained. All hear the good news!
We now have the answer to all!
wait for it...
just little longer....
keep going.....
MAGIC! Just so you know, I read this on my phone, and you accomplished the effect you were going for. 
Read: Leviticus and Deuteronomy...then listen to Drich defend morality. That's enough contradiction to fill any thread.
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RE: WTF Bible
September 17, 2013 at 11:39 pm
(September 17, 2013 at 10:13 pm)Texas Sailor Wrote: (September 13, 2013 at 3:33 pm)Captain Colostomy Wrote: Why my copy has 'Good News' written on it? Lmao!
(September 15, 2013 at 12:25 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: Oh jesus you motherfucker Ha ha ha...I've been away for a few weeks, but I miss you silly bastards.
(September 14, 2013 at 7:27 am)pocaracas Wrote: Everything can be explained. All hear the good news!
We now have the answer to all!
wait for it...
just little longer....
keep going.....
MAGIC! Just so you know, I read this on my phone, and you accomplished the effect you were going for.
Read: Leviticus and Deuteronomy...then listen to Drich defend morality. That's enough contradiction to fill any thread.
To quote twister, it is the return of the prodigal son!
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Posts: 6120
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Joined: June 5, 2013
Reputation:
65
RE: WTF Bible
September 17, 2013 at 11:46 pm
(September 14, 2013 at 8:28 am)Jiggerj Wrote: Genesis 1: 27-30: So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them
When confronted with some version of theistic evolution by my online Mormon debate partner I trotted out this verse and the one where Eve is punished with painful childbirth and conclude that God must have been closer in appearance to our Australopithecean ancestors since the bipedal, weight-bearing pelvis (which is narrower than ones in non-bipedal animals and contributes to painful and dangerous child bearing in humans (along with huge heads that are difficult to birth)) began making its fossil debut with our A. Afarensis ancestors.
Which means the species Homo Sapiens has evolved way beyond even the Christian God. Hmm....
I have yet to hear a rebuttal from her.
Teenaged X-Files obsession + Bermuda Triangle episode + Self-led school research project = Atheist.
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RE: WTF Bible
September 18, 2013 at 12:24 am
How Hes just walking through the garden he made asking where Adam and Eve are hiding and then punishing them for being totally innocent and naive enough to be fooled by a talking serpent who tricked them into eating from a gorgeous tree that God made and decided to place within reach. Or how God is not the author of confusion yet caused armies that were fighting Joshua to be confused.
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RE: WTF Bible
September 18, 2013 at 1:32 am
Joshua Chapter 10:
This is the one when Josh asks God to stop the Sun (and the moon - why?) which he does for a full day.
Now its fair enough that Josh thought the Sun went round the Earth - but God thought that too?
Now you could argue that Josh didn't understand but God did so he actually stopped the Earth going around the Sun. The problem is that the Earth is actually travelling about 60,000 miles an hour around the Sun so unless he very carefully put the brakes on everyone on the trailing side of the earth would have been squished into the ground and everyone on the leading edge would have been blasted off into space.
Of course that is a minor effect compared to what happens to the seas....
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