Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 6:02 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Joke
#21
RE: Joke
Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?

A: A brick.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
#22
RE: Joke
Boru is short for Boring. Or Bored You.
Reply
#23
RE: Joke
(February 6, 2014 at 7:51 am)KUSA Wrote: Boru is short for Boring. Or Bored You.

It actually happens to be short for 'Bóroimhe', which can be translated (depending on your political bent) as either as 'tax gatherer' or 'protector of the people.'

In either case, no need to thank me; I'm happy to be of service.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
#24
RE: Joke
A teacher says to her young class, "Today, class, we're going to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Who wants to go first?"

Little Susie puts her hand up and says, "My dad got the 'flu and he wasn't allowed to go to work because it's very contagious."

"Very good, Susie. Who wants to go next?"

Kelly in the third row puts her hand up and says, "I was watching a TV show about the Ebola virus and they said it's very contagious."

"Very good Kelly."

Then little Johhny in the back row sticks up his hand and says, "The other night my Dad and I went for a walk and we saw a little old many painting a big house with a small paintbrush."

"And?" asked the teacher.

"And my Dad nudged me and said, 'That'll take the old contagious!'"

Cool Shades

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
#25
RE: Joke
(February 6, 2014 at 7:43 pm)Beccs Wrote: A teacher says to her young class, "Today, class, we're going to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Who wants to go first?"

Little Susie puts her hand up and says, "My dad got the 'flu and he wasn't allowed to go to work because it's very contagious."

"Very good, Susie. Who wants to go next?"

Kelly in the third row puts her hand up and says, "I was watching a TV show about the Ebola virus and they said it's very contagious."

"Very good Kelly."

Then little Johhny in the back row sticks up his hand and says, "The other night my Dad and I went for a walk and we saw a little old many painting a big house with a small paintbrush."

"And?" asked the teacher.

"And my Dad nudged me and said, 'That'll take the old contagious!'"

Cool Shades

Ha! Big Grin

The woman taken in adultery is brought before Jesus. The crowd demands that he pass judgment.

Calmly, Jesus surveys the crowd and declares, 'Who among you that is without sin, let them cast the first stone.'

Looking properly abashed, the crowd begins to break up and walk away when, seemingly out of nowhere, a rock clonks the adulteress on the bean, killing her stone dead.

Jesus sighs and says, 'Mum, you are REALLY starting to piss me off.'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
#26
Re: RE: Joke
(February 6, 2014 at 7:06 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(February 6, 2014 at 7:51 am)KUSA Wrote: Boru is short for Boring. Or Bored You.

It actually happens to be short for 'Bóroimhe', which can be translated (depending on your political bent) as either as 'tax gatherer' or 'protector of the people.'

In either case, no need to thank me; I'm happy to be of service.

Boru

I was talking about your jokes.
Reply
#27
RE: Joke
Quote:I was talking about your jokes.

*shrug* You've a perfect right to be bored by my jokes. Your own joke regarding my screen name, however, fell flatter than a wet cow pat on a hot day.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
#28
RE: Joke
@ KUSA

[Image: kettlecallingpotblack.jpg]
Reply
#29
RE: Joke
I caught my wife cheating on me and was severely depressed
However I have found solace in religion..........
I've converted to Islam.
We're stoning her in the morning
Reply
#30
RE: Joke
Why Men Stand to Pee

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two
extra benefits/things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to
split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the
things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.

"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, "I was wondering if
either one of you wanted the ability.

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love
to...please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so
great!

When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals. I could just
stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in
the sand" On and on he went, Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam
really wanted that so badly, that he should have it and she really
wouldn't mind.

And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his
misdirection while in a vertical position. And so, he was happy,
laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.

"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's
left here? Oh yes, Multiple orgasms..."
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  joke time ignoramus 6915 822632 Yesterday at 5:50 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2747 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3309 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 28 Guest(s)