Joke

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?

A: A brick.

Boru

[KUSA]

Boru is short for Boring. Or Bored You.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Boru is short for Boring. Or Bored You.

It actually happens to be short for 'Bóroimhe', which can be translated (depending on your political bent) as either as 'tax gatherer' or 'protector of the people.'

In either case, no need to thank me; I'm happy to be of service.

Boru

[The Valkyrie]

A teacher says to her young class, "Today, class, we're going to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Who wants to go first?"

Little Susie puts her hand up and says, "My dad got the 'flu and he wasn't allowed to go to work because it's very contagious."

"Very good, Susie. Who wants to go next?"

Kelly in the third row puts her hand up and says, "I was watching a TV show about the Ebola virus and they said it's very contagious."

"Very good Kelly."

Then little Johhny in the back row sticks up his hand and says, "The other night my Dad and I went for a walk and we saw a little old many painting a big house with a small paintbrush."

"And?" asked the teacher.

"And my Dad nudged me and said, 'That'll take the old contagious!'"

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

A teacher says to her young class, "Today, class, we're going to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Who wants to go first?"

Little Susie puts her hand up and says, "My dad got the 'flu and he wasn't allowed to go to work because it's very contagious."

"Very good, Susie. Who wants to go next?"

Kelly in the third row puts her hand up and says, "I was watching a TV show about the Ebola virus and they said it's very contagious."

"Very good Kelly."

Then little Johhny in the back row sticks up his hand and says, "The other night my Dad and I went for a walk and we saw a little old many painting a big house with a small paintbrush."

"And?" asked the teacher.

"And my Dad nudged me and said, 'That'll take the old contagious!'"

Ha!

---

The woman taken in adultery is brought before Jesus. The crowd demands that he pass judgment.

Calmly, Jesus surveys the crowd and declares, 'Who among you that is without sin, let them cast the first stone.'

Looking properly abashed, the crowd begins to break up and walk away when, seemingly out of nowhere, a rock clonks the adulteress on the bean, killing her stone dead.

Jesus sighs and says, 'Mum, you are REALLY starting to piss me off.'

Boru

[KUSA]

Boru is short for Boring. Or Bored You.

It actually happens to be short for 'Bóroimhe', which can be translated (depending on your political bent) as either as 'tax gatherer' or 'protector of the people.'

In either case, no need to thank me; I'm happy to be of service.

Boru

I was talking about your jokes.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I was talking about your jokes.

*shrug* You've a perfect right to be bored by my jokes. Your own joke regarding my screen name, however, fell flatter than a wet cow pat on a hot day.

Boru

[rexbeccarox]

@ KUSA

[KUSA]

I caught my wife cheating on me and was severely depressed
However I have found solace in religion..........
I've converted to Islam.
We're stoning her in the morning

[Minimalist]

Why Men Stand to Pee

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two
extra benefits/things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to
split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the
things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.

"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, "I was wondering if
either one of you wanted the ability.

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love
to...please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so
great!

When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals. I could just
stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in
the sand" On and on he went, Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam
really wanted that so badly, that he should have it and she really
wouldn't mind.

And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his
misdirection while in a vertical position. And so, he was happy,
laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.

"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's
left here? Oh yes, Multiple orgasms..."