She Keeps Sucking The Life Out of Me

[The Grand Nudger]

That's an interesting projection. Tell me more?

[Whateverist]

It is interesting to see just how pedantically those who accept woo without the need of any logic nonetheless impose it everywhere else in their lives.

"Gotta be good so the wife will serve me from the top shelf in bed."

"Gotta be good so I get my ticket to heaven stamped."

"Gotta avoid strip clubs cuz everyone knows Mr. Johnson has a mind of his own and a nose for loose women.."

[John V]

It is interesting to see just how pedantically those who accept woo without the need of any logic nonetheless impose it everywhere else in their lives.

"Gotta be good so the wife will serve me from the top shelf in bed."

What's wrong with the logic that, if I treat my wife well, she is more likely to treat me well? Or in general, if I treat other people well, they are more likely to treat me well?

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That's an interesting projection. Tell me more?

It's not a projection, as I've never been to a strip club. BUt, plenty of guys have told me about them, and it's my understanding that money is typically exchanged for attention. So how much does an evening cost you?

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@Rhythm: Found an article that mentioned you:
http://www.spike.com/articles/jdb6zk/the...experience

Most guys who go to strip clubs are old, dirty men or just plain douchebags.

[The Grand Nudger]

Birds of a feather, apparently. You and your friends are both in the same boat and I find that unsurprising. Meanwhile there are those of us who aren't plagued by the same hobgoblins as you and yours seem to be.

hrugs:

[rexbeccarox]

I go to strip clubs with my guy friends every once in awhile. Nothing wrong with a variety of tits, I always say.

[Alex K]

I go to strip clubs with my guy friends every once in awhile. Nothing wrong with a variety of tits, I always say.

Variety is important

[Thumpalumpacus]

Settle down, son, I'm just talking probabilities. As noted above, one study found that nearly three times more men than women cheated on business trips. But no, I'm not suggesting that every man has an affair once he reaches X miles away from his wife.

Ain't no one here your son, boy.

As for that study, does it ascribe the cheating to genetics?

[Losty]

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They obviously changed their mind lol

Yes, people who make their minds up can change them, which is why your position that a man who makes his mind up not to cheat will never cheat and need take no consideration regarding temptation is unrealistic.

Living alone would mean not married and not fucking relevant to the conversation though wouldn't it?

We're discussing a trip away from his wife, so it is relevant - more relevant than your bit about people knowing you'd take ice cream from the freezer.

And getting back to that, it supports my point. A person who wants to maintain a reputation, be it dieting or fidelity, is less likely to cheat on that reputation when it's more likely he'll be caught. A trip away from the spouse reduces the chance of being caught.

I am of the mind that most men are not wild sex crazed beasts.

I probably wouldn't go that far, either, but men do think about sex an awful lot, and negative consequences to cheating are a barrier to cheating.

I do not believe it is any more difficult for a man to resist the urge to cheat than it is for a woman. (Yes, we like fucking orgasms too. Many aren't as open about it as I am and in a society that tells men that women don't care about sex I would say it's even more difficult for a woman to resist the urge to cheat because she has a higher probability of not being sexually satisfied by her partner, but then I'm going off on a rant that isn't technically relevant).

We've been discussing things from the POV of the husband. Yes, married women should also avoid situations of temptation.

I do not believe that being exposed to the opportunity to cheat makes a person more likely to cheat.

I know, and that's why your position is stupid.

I still haven't seen you present any evidence of this besides from I've seen many men blah blah blah.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/14...63225.html
Business travel often provides a cheating spouse the perfect cover for an extramarital affair. They are the most common settings for infidelity, according to “The Normal Bar” by Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz and James Witte; 36 percent of men and 13 percent of women told the authors that they gave into temptation while on a business trip — even if they said they were happily married. An out-of-town trip can allow a cheating spouse the luxury of conducting his or her affair in a location that's far from the sight of prying eyes.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/22...83371.html
According to data collected from The Normal Bar, 33% of men and 19% of women admitted to being unfaithful... But many of the individuals polled stressed that frequency of sexual infidelity matters. And there is a big difference between a single one-night stand in the course of a twenty-year marriage and a regular pattern of sexual affairs. Seventeen percent of the women who’d been sexually unfaithful and 23% of the men said it happened only once; and 36% of women and 33% of men said it happened two to five times. But that left more than 40% of unfaithful men and women who had to admit that it happened on more of a consistent basis!

The 40% of cheaters who are consistently unfaithful are your cheaters gonna cheat group, and I agree that they'll find ways to cheat. However, the rest - and particularly the one in 5 who only cheated once - would likely have benefited by reducing temptation.

Have you ever heard of a married person contacting an old flame and ending up in an affair? Same thing. Avoid temptation, because people can fail despite initial good intentions.

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I'm going to do that regardless Alpha. It's not as though I have to choose.

On any particular night you do. Women generally aren't giving up their best to husbands who come home boozy from a strip club.

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Calling that male sexuality is nonsense. Call it what it is: thoughtless, selfish sexuality on the part of men who have made a solemn promise. It is not limited to men, nor is it universal amongst men.

I've never cheated in an exclusive relationship, and I never will. And it doesn't matter what she looks like, what she's dressed in, or if anyone will ever find out.

Oh, and I'm male.

Settle down, son, I'm just talking probabilities. As noted above, one study found that nearly three times more men than women cheated on business trips. But no, I'm not suggesting that every man has an affair once he reaches X miles away from his wife.

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@Losty: Here's an interesting article. Studies show that executive control (their term for making up your mind) is not absolute, as you suggest, but rather is a limited resource which is affected by stress and temptation.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-barr...58102.html
Therefore, executive control may play a role in cheating behaviors. If your long-term goal is to stay committed to your partner, and you've got a heck of a lot of temptation, this requires a heck of a lot of executive control. Executive control may also help people avoid situations in the first place where they may experience the lure of attractive potential partners.

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None of your links prove that being given the opportunity to cheat makes you more likely to cheat. How can you say it doesn't just mean people who are more likely to cheat are more likely to go looking for such an opportunity?

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Most guys who go to strip clubs are old, dirty men or just plain douchebags.

I've been to a strip club. Many of the men were there with significant others and hardly any set off my creeper radar.
Maybe I went on a lucky night or maybe you're just making up bullshit because you think strip clubs are icky. Or maybe you are a creepy old douchebag and you secretly go to strip clubs and you feel so guilty that you have to go around talking about how awful they are to mask your guilt.

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I don't know what to say...so

So you'll make up things that were never said and put them in quotation marks as if they were.

Maybe you can't trust yourself, and maybe your wife applies a merit system to how hard she sucks your dick (I'm thinking little glittery star stickers on a big dry erase board?)......but what does that have to do with the rest of us?

For most of us, yes, our wives give us better sex if we treat them good. I would say yours is the exception...except I think you're making up all this shit as you go.

Hmm...isn't it against biblical rules to withhold good sex based on a merit system?
You're wife might be a closet atheist :o

I just wanted to add her that going to a strip club isn't treating your wife poorly.

[John V]

None of your links prove that being given the opportunity to cheat makes you more likely to cheat.

Prove? Maybe not, but it's a lot better than the nothing that you've given.

How can you say it doesn't just mean people who are more likely to cheat are more likely to go looking for such an opportunity?

If that's the case, shouldn't the wife be suspicious of the husband who wants to go to Vegas with single friends, as in my initial example?

I've been to a strip club. Many of the men were there with significant others and hardly any set off my creeper radar.
Maybe I went on a lucky night or maybe you're just making up bullshit because you think strip clubs are icky. Or maybe you are a creepy old douchebag and you secretly go to strip clubs and you feel so guilty that you have to go around talking about how awful they are to mask your guilt.

I quoted a magazine article on strip clubs. Either you're making things up, or you somehow found a couples strip club (please), or perhaps what you assumed to be significant others were escorts.

I just wanted to add her that going to a strip club isn't treating your wife poorly.

My wife disagrees, and says that most of her friends who are wices would disagree as well. Don't believe Rhythm's bullshit. Most wives aren't happy about their husbands going to strip clubs. Husbands know this and tend to hide it, unless they have a bachelor party as an excuse.

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Here's some interesting comments from women about their men going to strip clubs.
http://newlyweds.about.com/u/ua/lovesex/...p-Club.htm

Excerpts:
So, you have to go see a crew of naked women to be able to come home and give it to me good? WT? That's pathetic. I can understand how men totally disagree with what I'm saying, but you dont see how it can really make a woman feel like crap. It kinda hurts to know your man is going to a place where other women will be flocking around naked. Grow up.

I tell my boyfriend I have no problem with him going to a strip club. I don't want to tell him that it's not okay cause I'm not controlling. I just get really upset and cry when he's not around because I feel like my body isn't good enough.

I will not date anyone who goes to clubs or considers them OK because it will have to be something I accept. The only person taking their clothes off for him is me. Many of these private dances involve physical touching and MORE. That is physically cheating. Would you be OK if I rubbed a man's penis or kissed him? No? Ok, then you need to not go to the club. It's not a religious thing. It's an honesty and loyalty thing.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't want her husband going to "watch" strippers. He recently missed out on a co-worker's bachelor party. The stories I have heard about said party make me so angry. Strippers picking $ bills off the men's foreheads with their vagina, the men licking whipped cream off their bodies and other absolute bull. If your man tells you there's "no touching," he is lying.

[Losty]

No it wasn't a couple's strip club. Your wife has no pull on my opinion as Christian women tend to have severely skewed opinions on everything having to do with sex.

And also, you're right I haven't given any evidence. I don't believe that going to Vegas or a strip club increases a mans probability of cheating on his wife. I will not believe it unless someone proves it to be wrong. I have nothing to prove.

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Hmm that last comment got me. I suppose if you count actually going to a strip club as cheating then you're right. But I don't count it as cheating.

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What gets me is if I was in a monogamous marriage I would be a million times more hurt if my husband spent the night cuddled up with someone else talking all night than if he fucked every stripper at the club.
Go out, watch strippers, play poker, flirt with half naked women, talk sexy to other people, but come home to me, love me.