She Keeps Sucking The Life Out of Me

[The Grand Nudger]

Must irk you to no end imaging the kind of wives other men have, huh? I probably couldn't handle knowing that there are men out there who manage to keep their dicks in their pants - and women who love them, if I were in your position. A puritan surrounded by other puritans, constantly suspecting the worst of one's self and others.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I quoted a magazine article on strip clubs. Either you're making things up, or you somehow found a couples strip club (please), or perhaps what you assumed to be significant others were escorts.

I went to strip clubs with my son's mom on several occasions. I'd never cared for them -- they're shitty places for a single guy, expensive drinks and not too many gals to work on -- and so had never been to one before her and I started dating. We went to a few in LA, bikini/lap dance clubs to full nudity, and even considered bringing a gal home with us a time or two (they seemed to take a shine to her).

Point being, there's also the possibility she could be right -- or that you both could be right, which seems most likely in my mind.

[robvalue]

The only strip clubs I've ever been to are in computer games. I don't see a problem with anyone going to them, as long as it's not done behind a partner's back. I believe in honesty in relationships. This is just my opinion though.

[John V]

Must irk you to no end imaging the kind of wives other men have, huh?

No. I talk to plenty of married men and know that I have a better sex life than most of them.

I probably couldn't handle knowing that there are men out there who manage to keep their dicks in their pants - and women who love them, if I were in your position.

Why is that? I keep my dick in my pants and my wife loves me.

Yes, with your attitude, I'll bet you do a lot of that.

---

I went to strip clubs with my son's mom on several occasions. I'd never cared for them -- they're shitty places for a single guy, expensive drinks and not too many gals to work on -- and so had never been to one before her and I started dating. We went to a few in LA, bikini/lap dance clubs to full nudity, and even considered bringing a gal home with us a time or two (they seemed to take a shine to her).

Point being, there's also the possibility she could be right -- or that you both could be right, which seems most likely in my mind.

Do wives sometimes accompany husbands? Sure, but it's the exception, not the rule.

[Brian37]

My wife keeps sucking the life out of me. I forgot to wish her Happy Birthday and she went all nuts, to the point of going for a night out with another man (who is apparently just a friend).

Just a few weeks ago, she went on full rage because I forgot to book tickets for a movie.

All this drama started a few months ago when I left for a week's vacation to New Zealand with my buddies.

What should I do?

*PS: She is not cheating with me - that I am fully convinced.

Outside religious debate, none of us here are you, nor is this a professional marriage counselor website.

I can say that if you are having conflict resolution problems you need to get help learning how to have disagreements. It is very normal in any relationship, be it marriage, family, friend, or co worker to have conflict, how you go about it matters.

Some no nos when you disagree is name calling, bringing up the past. What you do is discuss and listen, then offer each other a solution and work to that solution. Outside that we cannot offer any advise other than if it is that serious seek a professional counselor. And no a priest and minister do not qualify as a professional.

[The Grand Nudger]

No. I talk to plenty of married men and know that I have a better sex life than most of them.

Still an issue of birds and feathers, if I had to guess. Whats the problem, your buddies old ladies holding out for better treatment? Tell em to watch out, that's how Jody gets his foot in the door. Lonely housewife, holding out the nookie because she thinks she deserves better....and along comes "Better".

Why is that? I keep my dick in my pants and my wife loves me.

That's good, it would suck to be stuck in a loveless marriage. The method, however, that you've proposed to achieve this..... sounds like something a kid would dream up. Gotta stay away from the candy jar cause you just can't trust yourself? I'm conflicted - normally I like to lift people up out of the mud that our gender stereotypes and cultural ticks have imposed....but with you...I kind of want to accept that you're just a shitty person, deep down - and that the shitty things you say about yourself (and then hilariously extend to others) might actually be true....in your specific case. You certainly -seem- to be committed to convincing me..... so who am I to tell you that you're wrong about yourself, eh?

Meh, fuck it, you win. You're a divorce proceeding waiting to happen. Your wife doesn't trust you at strip clubs because you don't trust yourself, and shouldn't...because you can't be trusted. Given too much opportunity you'd invariably end up snorting coke off some hookers tits and getting blown in the alley behind the dumpster. Happy?

Yes, with your attitude, I'll bet you do a lot of that.

You're still thinking about my dick too often, but I guess you can't be trusted, right?

[John V]

Still an issue of birds and feathers, if I had to guess.

Your guess is wrong. I'm speaking mostly of men I've worked with, not guys from my church. The guys from church generally don't talk about their sex lives with each other.

That's good, it would suck to be stuck in a loveless marriage.

You would know, strip-club boy. You're not going out for lap dances because you're so deeply in love with your wife.

The method, however, that you've proposed to achieve this..... sounds like something a kid would dream up. Gotta stay away from the candy jar cause you just can't trust yourself?

Avoiding temptation is not a childish tactic. Most people giving advice on dieting would advise keeping junk food out of the house as much as possible. It's a common and prudent practice.

I'm conflicted

Yes, you're conflicted as you know I'm mostly right, but now you're in a hole and don't want to quit or admit that you're wrong.

- normally I like to lift people up out of the mud that our gender stereotypes and cultural ticks have imposed....

So you admit that my views are common.

but with you...I kind of want to accept that you're just a shitty person, deep down

Exactly. You want to think poorly of me, so you argue against some pretty common advice.

- and that the shitty things you say about yourself (and then hilariously extend to others) might actually be true....in your specific case.

You contradict yourself. If my views are incorrect, they wouldn't have become stereotypes and "cultural ticks."

Meh, fuck it, you win. You're a divorce proceeding waiting to happen. Your wife doesn't trust you at strip clubs because you don't trust yourself, and shouldn't...because you can't be trusted. Given too much opportunity you'd invariably end up snorting coke off some hookers tits and getting blown in the alley behind the dumpster. Happy?

Even if your last statement is true, it's incorrect to conclude that I'm headed toward divorce, as I wisely avoid getting too much opportunity.

[The Grand Nudger]

Hey, I already waived the white flag, there's no reason to try and convince me further. Your case is compelling. You're a horrible person. In addition....

-Stereotypes, by virtue of existing..are correct, and you're a stereotype.
-You avoid divorce by means of avoiding strippers and other "temptations" (I bet that list is juicy...you seem like the type).

hrugs:

IDK, maybe your parents never exposed you to any other way of managing a relationship - maybe it was easier for them (and clearly for you) to reduce the whole thing down to a sitcom punchline...and I suppose that if this is the case it's understandable to find you, a grown man - a married man, espousing the position you've espoused here. If I told my wife that the way I managed to -not- cheat on her had to do with avoiding temptation....I think she'd be insulted. The girl at the checkout line exists, none of us has to go to a stripclub to find temptation (and for many, there isn't any temptation there - you don't go..right?)... if fidelity is related to removing oneself from temptation then it's a wonder that any of us remain faithful at all.

[John V]

Hey, I already waived the white flag, there's no reason to try and convince me further. Your case is compelling. You're a horrible person.

Yep, you got it - I'm a horrible person because, as a married man, I stay home with my wife instead of going to strip clubs.

Good husbands go to strip clubs to prove that they can tuck dollar bills into other women's whatever and get lap dances, but still keep their pants on. These men are superior husbands and are greatly desired by progressive women. Women who prefer their husbands to stay home with them are controlling shrews, and such marriages where the husband and wife spend a lot of time together are obviously loveless and headed for divorce.

[The Grand Nudger]

If you say so, I guess? I never realized that the dynamics of a marriage could be distilled with such brevity and wisdom - but I guess it just goes to show what I don't know.

-or, your every response illustrates how you've managed to turn marriage into an animated short.