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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 12:36 pm
I don't think some forms of discrimination constitute bigotry if it's for legitimate reasons like high incompatibility - However the fact someone had sex before meeting you has nothing to do with your relationship and does not prove in anyway anything about that person's character or personality. Furthermore I feel a deep underlying mentality of slut-shaming as said by becca.
Personally I would happily date anyone who is able to question their own beliefs if they still keep it in the end. What bugs me is not so much belief in the supernatural but a refusal to see different viewpoints - As long as people can think for themselves, whatever conclusion they may reach is acceptable as long as it doesn't break the law.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 12:45 pm
I'm curious as to why the OP has posted this on at least six different forums, at least four of which have not a goddamned thing to do with relationships.
Oh wait, I'm not. Obvious troll.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 12:48 pm
(April 21, 2015 at 12:45 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: I'm curious as to why the OP has posted this on at least six different forums, at least four of which have not a goddamned thing to do with relationships.
Oh wait, I'm not. Obvious troll.
Given this information I for see a banhammer swinging soon?
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 12:52 pm
(April 21, 2015 at 12:30 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: (April 21, 2015 at 12:16 pm)Dystopia Wrote: People who want to be bigoted always need an excuse to do it. Everyone rationalizes their behaviour, including people who discriminate others and people who think they possess souls of dragons and are controlled by reptilians.
What the OP basically said trough a more complex literary style is that "I don't like my girlfriend having experiences with others before me because she must be pure otherwise she's a dirty slut".
I was called a bigot today for not wanting to date theists. True story.
That's ridiculous. Dating is not a frigging public service! Morons.
I tried dating a theist once, never again. Well, a deist would be OK
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 1:00 pm
(April 21, 2015 at 12:52 pm)robvalue Wrote: (April 21, 2015 at 12:30 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: I was called a bigot today for not wanting to date theists. True story.
That's ridiculous. Dating is not a frigging public service! Morons.
I tried dating a theist once, never again. Well, a deist would be OK
Not enough nuance in the statement to definitively call Deidre a bigot.
Are you the kind of person who has long-term relationships where your values will definitely clash and mean something? I don't see that as discrimination - I wouldn't marry someone who was a social conservative. Or have a long-term relationship with them.
Are you the kind of person who just dates and fucks casually? I might say that them being a theist doesn't matter then. But that all depends on the context. I've had fun times with believers. But I wasn't looking to shack up with them either.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 1:03 pm
(This post was last modified: April 21, 2015 at 1:05 pm by Alex K.)
(April 21, 2015 at 1:00 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: thesummerqueen Offline
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Reputation: 86 One more post, summerqueen, and it's major Schnaps time (according to German tradition). Do you have the bottle ready?
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schnapszahl
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 1:04 pm
(April 19, 2015 at 3:28 pm)pauloroberts Wrote: My girlfriend and I were watching some romantic comedy the other day (not my idea, trust me), and the topic of sexual history came up. So we ended up talking about it, and it turns out that she's got quite a past.
She's 27 and here is just some of what she told me...
Her first time was when she was 17
When I asked her how many men she's had sex with she couldn't tell me but when I asked if it was over 20 (jokingly) she said oh yes, way more
The first time she did anal was at the age of 18
She has had a threesome on 3 separate occasions
She has kissed girls in clubs many times
She was a member of fetlife for a couple of years
She mentioned something about doing porn
Those are the highlights but she mentioned quite a lot of other occasions and people.
This is not OK. I've been with her for 3 years and I had no idea about any of this. I always had a feeling about her but I really didn't think it was like this. This is a huge shock to me and what bothers me is that I've invested 3 years of my life with someone whose values and mine most certainly do not gel.
I don't really want to break up with her, but at the same time I can't imagine staying with her and being OK with this. It's going to nag away at me, I know it. I'm a firm believer that her sexual history has a lot to do with the ability to pair bond (or should I say, the inability), and I have seen enough evidence of this with my friends and their girlfriends to confirm it.
I hate to think about it as 3 years is a long time, but I guess I probably will be finishing with her, at least that's how I'm feeling right now. But I just want to get people's opinions, for what it's worth.
I get it.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 1:14 pm
(April 21, 2015 at 1:03 pm)Alex K Wrote: (April 21, 2015 at 1:00 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: thesummerqueen Offline
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Reputation: 86 One more post, summerqueen, and it's major Schnaps time (according to German tradition). Do you have the bottle ready?
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schnapszahl
I have no idea what any of that means.
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 1:19 pm
(April 21, 2015 at 1:14 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: I have no idea what any of that means.
Your post count is a repdigit now, so according to German tradition you'll now get a Schnapps. /explainypants
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RE: Some thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past
April 21, 2015 at 1:19 pm
(This post was last modified: April 21, 2015 at 1:20 pm by Alex K.)
In games, when a number with all identical digits comes up, there's free alcohol for everyone.
(April 21, 2015 at 1:19 pm)Neimenovic Wrote: (April 21, 2015 at 1:14 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: I have no idea what any of that means. Your post count is a repdigit now, so according to German tradition you'll now get a Schnapps. /explainypants Erm, I was hoping we get the Schnaps as well...
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
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