The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Going Overboard, one of two Adam Sandler films to be bad enough for The Project, the other being Jack and Jill. I did that one last year, and, unlike that one, he doesn't even list this film on his resume. It's that bad.

• 0:55: Of all the porno tapes you choose, you choose the one where the cover is Adam Sandler making the same face Butt-head makes when he's mimicking heavy metal singers?
  
• 1:16: Fucking Hell, the animation is hideous.
  
• 1:44: So, wait, is this film titled Going Overboard or The Unsinkable Shecky Moskowitz?
  
• 2:22: More on Generalissimo Noriega later.
  
• 5:07: At least they're honest about why this film was made.
  
• 5:12: Wow, how woke was Spain to have a transwoman who just came out last week represent them in a pageant in 1989?
  
• 8:00: It's so tempting to make a quip about Andrew Dice Clay, but given the time period, I'm 99% sure that was exactly the point she was making.
  
• 10:45: Didn't we do this? In fact, can't we have just cut the first scene where he conveyed this exact same information? Even The Room at least spaced these scenes apart.
  
• 11:57: That sounds like a neurological condition.
  
• 13:07: Taking off a girl's bathing suit and shoving it up her ass is A-OK, but fucking her is off the table?
  
• 13:12: Didn't even have to fire the gun. This really was a no-budget film.
  
• 13:42: Well, at least he got a better reception than the Cuties got when they did their dance.
  
• 16:11: Taking a Rain Man instead of a rain check? I'm not sure if this is one of the cases where I can say that only other people on the spectrum get to mock Rain Man. Also, director cameo?
  
• 18:21: I think you answered your own question.
  
• 18:34: You know, this forum has a three-video-per-post limit and I just wasted one on the official upload of this film. So, I hope this answers your question:
  
  
  
• 20:57: Not true if you're part of Project Mayhem and you live in one of the cities where they control the police. Like Bradford, UN.
  
  Why, yes, I did watch the most famous film to ever be heavily implied to be set in Delaware a few days ago.
  
• 26:50: 7 Minutes exactly. That's how long this shot lasted. And to think Mike Leigh would so something like this much better in Secrets and Lies (coming soon to the Criterion Collection!)
  
• 27:27: You'll be one of the biggest film stars and also one of the most reviled.
  
• 28:25: So, why did we need that last scene? It conveys the same exact information.
  
• 29:25: Why did they need that nightmarish animation?
  
• 30:26: So, it's not entirely a no-budget song since they managed to license a Motown hit.
  
• 32:00: So, he can't even have a sexual fantasy without his mother interfering? Even my relationship with my dead mother isn't that fucked up.
  
• 33:52: Well, I guess the other guy really has no taste in comedy.
  
• 34:09: Why is this scene here?
  
• 36:51: Just so everyone's clear, this movie is framed as a movie General Noriega is watching. For context, he was one of many generalissimos America propped up in Latin America to stem the tide of Communism, in this case, Panama. He ruled from 1983 to 1989, when he proved too much even for Uncle Sam and we invaded them in the biggest military operation since Vietnam. And what else happened in 1989? This movie was released. So, yeah, this was dated instantly.
  
• 37:31: MUST NOT REFERENCE TRUMP! MUST NOT REFERENCE TRUMP! MUST NOT REFERENCE TRUMP!
  
• 38:51: Even these idiot assassins who introduced themselves by pistol-whipping themselves know how stupid this plot is.
  
• 40:36: Wait, she never said you looked like a Pizza, she said you smelled like an old pizza.
  
• 44:08: So, his hat falls into the ocean and this merits an instant funeral?
  
• 45:55: Why is King Neptune here? Why does he need to convince Shecky to take Dickie's old job? Especially since we have a scene just after this where Bob does the same thing?
  
• 50:41: Is that Billy Bob Thornton?
  
• 51:50: We want Dickie? Isn't he dead, as far as they know?
  
• 52:46: So, apparently, they convinced a band to set up all their gear on such short notice.
  
• 54:12: So, apparently, this was a #1 hit last week? Man, no wonder 1989 was a shit year for popular music.
  
• 54:32: Nice homage to Tommy Hall, there.
  
• 56:18: Seriously? King Neptune's right there?
  
• 56:45: You'd think he'd bring these feelings up earlier. He has strong opinions and his friend is an aspiring standup comedian.
  
• 58:25: So, it's worth noting that the next movie Valerie Breiman! directed was called Bikini Squad. And between that and this gratuitous montage of beautiful women's bodies, well, I can't find any information about whether or not she's gay, but I can't help but wonder if this is just her expressing some homoerotic stirrings within her. Also, this is a shit cover of "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet."
  
• 59:24: Yep, they're officially in the movie he was watching all along. What kind of time paradox is that?
  
• 62:17: And nobody hears him banging on the door and yelling and thinks, "maybe that fucker is actually alive" but instead that his ghost is haunting the ship. These people are idiots.
  
• 63:32: I'm still curious about whether it'd be appropriate to make a reference to Dennis Nilsen, who flushed the remains of one of his victims down the toilet and ended up creating problems that led to him getting caught. Then again, I'm not sure the sewage systems on a cruise ship works the same way as they do in London.
  
• 63:51: What's the point of this argument about which colour shirt he's supposed to wear?
  
• 66:35: So, you're admitting that you tortured animals as a kid? I'm just waiting for him to admit to Arson or bedwetting.
  
• 67:20: So, they got Milton Berle to appear in the film to give him advice. That's probably where most of the budget went.
  
• 69:36: So, he's talking about Emma Watson?
  
•  70:16: These jokes always did? If Milton Berle, a comedy legend, can't make these jokes land, nobody can. And they weren't funny.
  
• 71:05: So, is this supposed to be a vindication of a more wholesome type of comedy against the dirtier comics who were thriving in the 1980s? Because in this film, both types of comedy suck, because it looks like the lines are being written by a shitty writer.
  
• 71:45: What do you know, all he had to do is go into a disassociative fugue and that was enough to make him a hit.
  
• 71:50: So, what do you know, he managed to wear the pink shirt and the green shirt. I think I know why that scene about the pink vs. green shirt was made: to cover up a blatant continuity error.
  
• 73:34: And they care more for mugging for the camera while they're trying to find Miss Australia.
  
• 75:16: You also said he should be shot for shooting people who voted against him.
  
• 77:02: Do they have no peripheral vision?
  
• 78:11: Just wait until the Internet becomes a thing, Miss Australia. You'll probably find some community for that.
  
• 80:24: So, why are we supposed to like Miss Australia besides her being hot?
  
• 81:53: Dying would probably be great for your career, if Bill Hicks' career trajectory is any indication.
  
• 82:02: Dad watched this scene and he decided to make a reference to Frisbeetarianism, but now I'm more inclined to say Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
  
• 83:50: How did she win for that performance of "Advance Australia Fair"? You know what, I decided I'm going to use my third video for this post. While looking for better renditions, I found one labeled "Australian National Anthem (Earrape)" and it still sounds better than that version she sang.
  
  
  
• 82:12: Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
  
• 87:24: You know what, these idiots are somehow the best at standup comedy in this movie and they barely even speak English.
  
• 91:04: What kind of name is Slimy? And how does her conch shell broadcast his comedy sessions? And why would she like it when he bombed most of the times he tried? Is this like how the Happy Mondays got signed to Factory Records? By getting last place in battle of the bands and Tony Wilson deciding to sign them anyway?
  
• 97:10: And we're leaving on not-Andrew Dice Clay laughing like Mandark? Okay.
  

Well, I managed to delete all my progress on this film twice (for reasons I'm fairly certain have to do with my accidentally accessing the @ key and pressing delete at the wrong time

[Foxaèr]

‘Next Level’ is actually the fourth one in the franchise, so you’re waiting for the fifth one, not the third.

Boru

Actually, I've utterly discounted the first two, on your scale, as not worth watching.

I never saw any Jumanji movie past the Robin Williams one.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Actually, I've utterly discounted the first two, on your scale, as not worth watching.

I never saw any Jumanji movie past the Robin Williams one.  

The last two are fun movies. Dr. Smolder Bravestone leads an intrepid band of jock, nerds, and divas on a quest to save some damn thing.

[Gwaithmir]

[brewer]

Got some free movie channels recently. This was interesting.





https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lobster

[Angrboda]

The Apartment.

[Secular Elf]

Saw "Tolkien" last night on Netflix DVD. Being a major J.R.R. Tolkien and Middle-earth fan it was a treat seeing on film and being reminded what inspired his imagination behind his literature, having read a biography of him many years ago. He and his wife truly loved each other. She was the inspiration for a character in The Silmarillion: Luthien, the daughter of the Elven King Elu Thingol of Doriath during the First Age.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Did they mention the eleven year old boy who reviewed The Hobbit?

[brewer]

Saw "Tolkien"  last night on Netflix DVD.  Being a major J.R.R. Tolkien and Middle-earth fan it was a treat seeing on film and being reminded what inspired his imagination behind his literature, having read a biography of him many years ago.  He and his wife truly loved each other.  She was the inspiration for a character in The Silmarillion: Luthien, the daughter of the Elven King Elu Thingol of Doriath during the First Age.

Then he considered his mother-in-law a minor deity? Brings that whole girdle thing into perspective.

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Things. It's basically a no-budget direct-to-video Canadian ripoff of Evil Dead

• So, apparently, not-Philip Seymour Hoffman is begging a woman in a devil mask (who is apparently doing laundry) to have his baby. I'm only saying this because, if you watch the movie, the dialogue is almost entirely muffled by what I can only assume to be what Martin Rev from Suicide does to warm up. The fact that it sounds unnervingly similar to "Frankie Teardrop" at points doesn't help. Fortunately,  I know this because I usually keep the subtitles on and it's practically the only way to make out what's supposed to be going on. 
  
• And why is the laughter so echoed?
  
• Why did those railway tracks make the music growl?
  
• This title sequence is reminding me a lot of the driving scenes from Manos, but at least this time, the terrain is more varied and they actually remembered to put the titles on it.
  
• Yes, a porn star who's clearly reading from cue cards and is speaking in front of what I think is a wall of TVs (with two replaying the same image we're already seeing) in a Radioshack totally has the pull to talk with Gorbachev and Bush I.
  
• Why is a book about Leng Tche in the freezer?
  
• Also, how is that tape recorder still working after all that time in the freezer?
  
• Okay, so I haven't gotten around to Last Podcast on the Left's series on Aleister Crowley, did he actually kill anybody?
  
• Lemme guess, that movie is Evil Dead.
  
• The Bestiality Network? Somehow, this intrigues me.
  
• Wow, that torturing is totally believable, with that clearly fake hand being tapped by some metal instrument that I'm sure I have in the basement.
  
• Fucking Hell, Troma does better special effects than this and I think this torture scene is supposed to be a real snuff film.
  
• That looks far too normal to be a Dali painting. A Chagall painting maybe.
  
• Oh, look, a reference to "Last House on the Left." Subtle. As in outright saying the title subtle.
  
• Did that dog change breeds in between shots?
  
• And now they're just riffing other movies that I'm 95% certain are better than this one.
  
• Wait, is that 6 day-old bread of 6-month-old bread? Because there's a difference.
  
• Oh, yeah, there was a time when Night of the Living Dead wasn't public domain.
  
• So, what's this Sci-Fi novel about a kid named Harold who got killed and birthed a serpent that killed every torso in the town and why the fuck am I not reading it?
  
• The lights went out? It's actually a bit clearer than it was before.
  
• You get paper children by fucking a bag lady? That's not funny. 
  
• Toilets are not related to power, so it'd still flush in a blackout.
  
• What even is that thing? A giant spider with mammalian teeth that barely movies and that you didn't notice when you were talking about the toilet? And why is it picking up high radio frequencies?
  
• Why is nothing happening and why can't I hear any of that nothing besides something that sounds like The Caretaker if it was made when Leland Kirby was still making troll music?
  
• What the shit kind of name is Tessica?
  
• Do these Things even move when the camera's on them? Are they like Jerri's dad from Stranger With Candy? 
  
• Well, it's nice to know Amber Lynn's scenes actually have some bearing on the plot. Even if they are flat-out wrong.
  
• So, he thinks he can become a cyborg? You know, this could very well something like Irma Vep except for modern slasher films if they could at least chew some furniture.
  

Well, it looks like the two weeks after this are set: In honour of my getting Disney Plus, I'll be watching Artemis Fowl next week. I haven't read the books, but from what I've heard, this won't matter much, because they fuck with the lore so badly, even knowing it won't help you. Also, after that, The Mod Squad, which recently got added to the So Bad It's Horrible page, is available on Amazon Prime, and doesn't fit into the Comedy/Horror/Youth categories I've been reduced to.